Edward's Twilight: edward's version of twilight
Language: English
Published by CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2012
- Softcover
- Used
Seller: Wonder Book, Frederick, MD, U.S.A.Wonder Book
AbeBooks seller since November 1, 1997
Condition: Used - Very good
£ 5.38
Quantity: 1 available
Add to basketItem description from seller
Very Good condition. A copy that may have a few cosmetic defects. May also contain light spine creasing or a few markings such as an owner's name, short gifter's inscription or light stamp.
Seller Inventory # L15D-01604
- Title
- Edward's Twilight: edward's version of twilight
- Author
- Veillon, Joseph
- Publisher
- CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform
- Publication year
- 2012
- Condition
- Very Good
- Binding
- Soft cover
- Language
- English
- ISBN 10
- 1475162154
- ISBN 13
- 9781475162158
Now Even More Controversial with More Parody, More Satire, More Critical Analysis.
More Five Star Reviews than any other Twilight parody.
Amazon's #1 Twilight parody for the past 13 years.
Edward's Twilight was not written by and is not endorsed by Stephenie Meyer.
Edward’s Twilight is a wickedly irreverent and entertaining mix of original parody, sharp satire, and insightful analysis of Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight. As the first genuine parody of Twilight, and the first book to present Edward’s version of the story, Edward’s Twilight is the only parody that remains faithful to Twilight as written by Stephenie Meyer. Join Edward Cullen and Bella Swan as they deliver witty and critical commentary on their own characters, Meyer’s writing, and all things Twilight. Don't miss this unique opportunity to explore the story from a refreshingly new perspective.
"Synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.
From the Author
"What is she doing? Sniffing her hair? Curses, swearwords, and unholy vexations! She smells it, that putrescent rotting aroma of the dead known in the world of perfumery as the vampire bouquet."
"That is so much better, Edwin. Things are now as clear as the muddled plot of a teenaged girl-vampire-werewolf love triangle in a dream-induced novel."
"Actually, a lot of people in Full Moon believe the werewolf legend. People have been finding piles of smelly, shredded clothes in the woods for a couple of years now."
"If Stephenie had not written us into that literary blasphemy of hers, we would not be doomed to an existence of endless ridicule and disparagement."
"The sweet fragrance of her blood excited my most base instincts and my most contemptible desires. I would definitely need to see Father Karras for confession."
"Have you thought about killing me?"
"In all of vampire history, there has never been a twinkling vampire. That nonsensical idea has set vampirism back at least two thousand years."
"Research? No way," Jezebella retorted. "I just wrote down some random stuff that I made up."
"You could prick my finger and have a little taste," Jezebella offered, rubbing a finger lightly over my lips and then easing it into my mouth.
"Knowing that you hunger for my blood makes wanting to be with you even more irrational, reckless, and crazy, but I crave that spine-chilling sensation of menace and fear that I feel in your presence."
"If this had not been written into Twilight we would not have had to spoof it and I would have been spared this undignified humiliation."
"Taking no chances with her safety, we locked Jezebella in a closet upstairs in Argyle's office with Nosferatu and Barnabas posted as guards for the duration of the tournament."
"An old crone Gypsy fortune teller with a traveling Romanian carnival mysteriously foretold that Jezebella would join me 'in the fourth book.' Although this vague prophecy gave me a measure of hope, I was grief-stricken at the thought of suffering through three more volumes of this sleepy literary impersonation."
"I'm sure, Edwin," she whispered, turning her head to the side and exposing her luscious, quivering neck to me.
"There was a lot of talk in those Twilight books about Denali, but in reality there is no town or village named Denali anywhere in Alaska."
"After only a few weeks, not only was I willing to leave my family and friends, give up my dreams, and sacrifice my self-esteem, but I was also ready to forfeit my humanity and even my very life in order to spend eternity with a manipulative, controlling, and emotionally distant vampire with anger issues."
"My face morphed into a grimace of confused torment that looked like that famous painting called The Scream. My body perversely twisted this way and that way in a frenzied corporeal tantrum that resembled a chaotic jumble of the thriller dance, the funky chicken, the twist, the running man, and the hokey pokey. I finally collapsed atop the desk and lay drooling like a rabid dog. I must have looked like an unhinged lunatic."
"In the space of mere seconds, a few molecules of Jezebella's tomato juice scent had reduced me to a sordid, mindless monster, loathsome and shameful in the weakness of my hunger. I swallowed hard and inched closer."
"The idea of a vampire with a buff, toned, chiseled body of nearly indestructible stone with venom for blood is completely absurd and preposterous. The whole idea completely disregards not only time-honored literary tradition but also the fundamental and irrefutable laws of biology, biochemistry, and physics. You can Google it."
"About the title" may belong to another edition of this title.
Wonder Book
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With 3 stores less than 1 hour outside the DC/Metropolitan area (1 in Gaithersburg, 1 in Frederick and 1 in Hagerstown, MD), we have the largest selection of books in the tri-state area. Wonder Book and Video has been in business since 1980 and online since 1997. We have over 1 Million books for sale on our website and another 1 Million books for sale in our 3 locations. Items on Abe are not necessarily in stock at our retail locations. Please do not call the stores to place orders for Abe Books sales. We have a very active online inventory and as such, we can receive multiple orders for the same item. We fill those orders on a first come first serve basis, but will refund promptly any items that are out of stock. Since 1980 it has always been about the books. ALL kinds of books from 95 cent children's paperbacks to five figure rare and collectibles. A merging of the old and new is where we started, and it is where we are today. Our retail stores have always been places where a reader can rush in looking for a title needed for a term paper that is due the next day, or where bibliophiles can get lost "in the stacks" for as long as they wish. In 2002 USAToday recognized us as "1 of 10 Great Old Bookstores", and we have been featured in numerous other newspaper and TV stories including Washington Post and CSpan. Members ABAA, ILAB.…
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