DRUGS AND YOUR TEEN
All You Need to Know about Drugs to Protect Your Loved OnesBy Gianni DeVincenti Hayes Michael J. Talley Jr.AuthorHouse
Copyright © 2011 Gianni DeVincenti Hayes, Ph.D. and Michael J. Talley Jr.
All right reserved. ISBN: 978-1-4520-9845-6Contents
Preface: A Letter from Michael Lotterstein..........................xvIntroduction: What It's All About...................................xviiChapter 1: Who's Who................................................1Chapter 2: Understanding the Problem................................13Chapter 3: The Keys to Detection....................................51Chapter 4: Drugs of Abuse, Part I...................................75Chapter 5: Drugs of Abuse, Part II..................................123Chapter 6: Adolescents, Drugs, and the Internet.....................143Chapter 7: Testing..................................................191Chapter 8: Home Base................................................225Chapter 9: Resources and Workplace Testing..........................267Chapter 10: Prevention and Summary..................................277Appendix............................................................295Endnotes............................................................337Glossary............................................................339Index...............................................................345Works Cited.........................................................351Bibliography........................................................357
Chapter One
Who's Who The Authors' Stories
Dr. Gianni DeVincenti Hayes's Story
I'm Gianni, and I'm a victim of a drunk driver.
When I was in college, I did something stupid. I went to a party with the fellow I had been dating for about five months. Had I not also been drinking—a guilt that took me a long time to admit—I would have known he was too drunk to drive. I got into the passenger's seat and turned around to talk to the couple in the backseat. My life changed in those few seconds. My date passed out at the wheel, hitting a telephone pole and then a school building. I went flying into the windshield at the same time as the engine came up through the floorboards, so part of me was splattered in the windshield, while half of me was pinned by the engine. Recently, I had my fifteenth facial reconstructive surgery, and there are more planned. I have many plates and wires in the right side of my face, some loss of vision and damaged mouth nerves, and I have suffered for years with aching joints and muscles.
I will never look the way God originally intended me to appear. Daily, when I wake and look in the mirror, I am reminded of that fateful day many years ago. I live a life of self-consciousness and seldom get my picture taken; I usually only do so if I can digitally fix it. As I age, I lose more bone mass in areas that received the most trauma: my face, my arm, and my hip. There is little more any surgeon can do to undo what the driver—and I—did that warm, starlit night a week before graduation. I never saw the driver again.
I wanted to do something to help parents, as well as people whose businesses could be lost as a result of employee alcohol and drug use. Hence, I started my company, American Drug Testing Consultants, to help fight our addiction problem.
Several years ago, I decided to share my story with students, to let them know that mistakes can happen and that we are all vulnerable, even when we are young and think we are immortal. I spoke to schools and MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) groups. I compensated for my scars by spending years studying, earning four degrees, and becoming an author, international speaker, and professor. In this capacity, I saw students in my classrooms stoned from drugs and reeking of alcohol; often they would nod off in class because of drug use.
Combine all this with two car accidents I witnessed where all the passengers in one car (all drunk or high) died, and another accident in which the teenage driver (also under the influence of drugs) was killed right in front of my home, and you have some insight into why I have taken on this project.
I believe our young people need to be made aware of the serious consequences of alcohol and drug use and abuse. And I believe it all starts with the parents. We must keep tomorrow's leaders drug free. Together, you and I can make this happen.
Dr. Gianni DeVincenti Hayes
Michael J. Talley's Story
I own a company called Drug Test Consultants of PA. I was part of the corporate world for most of my career. That was necessary for me to provide for my three daughters. As my girls grew into their teenage years, they all developed in different directions. The youngest was always busy, and that led me to believe she was doing well. It was not until December 23 of her senior year that the truth came out. I was called in to her high school by the guidance counselor and principal, and they told me that they had found ten packets of heroin in her locker. One of her friends had reported her to the principal. The police were notified. She was expelled from school, only five months away from graduating. When I realized that my daughter was doing drugs, I felt as if I'd been hit with a shovel. Knowing nothing of rehab/detox centers, I just went to the phone book and checked her into a local rehab center for five days of detox for heroin. This was December 24. This world of drugs and rehabilitation was new to me, and I thought she would be "cured" after five days in detox. That was eleven years ago, and it marked the start of our experiences with relapses, detox centers, rehab institutions, halfway houses, police problems, auto accidents, and, finally, a transitional house. Recently she started methadone treatments. This minimizes her drug cravings, while it levels off her highs and lows and her personality and mood swings. We finally had time to work on the real reason she had started using drugs. When a teenager uses drugs, their maturation process is delayed. If they become addicted at an early age, their priorities become distorted, and, instead of concentrating on the normal sequence of life, they only think of how to procure their next high.
I have seen several of my daughter's friends die from overdoses. These teens get their drugs in places that would scare most adults. While my daughter was in her five-day detox, I went to the place in Philadelphia where she bought her drugs: an open-air market where all kinds of people came to get their "drug of choice." The buyers ranged from young teenagers to adults in expensive cars. Drug addiction is definitely the great equalizer. All these people had been reduced to a common level due to their addiction. That was my first trip to the depths of that particular netherworld. You can't imagine my level of hate and disgust for the people who introduced my daughter to that life. Once your child enters that world, it becomes a part of your life forever. It is a constant battle for sanity and sobriety.
I started this business to try to educate parents on the signs of drug use, as well as teach them what to do if they find out their child is a user. Unfortunately, children get involved in alcohol/drug use at ages as young as eleven and twelve—even younger, in some cases. Parents need to understand that the drug world is very real, and they really need to discuss drugs and drinking with their children. Children whose parents talk to them about alcohol/drug use are five times less likely to use. Parents also need to keep their children busy with good activities and get to know their friends. This is crucial!
Today, many parents are afraid of their children. I don't mean they fear violence from their children (which also happens), but they fear confronting them with discussions concerning use of mind-altering substances and questions about what they do when they are away from home. I believe that if I can help one family avoid the hardships, disappointments, and pain that my family has endured, this venture will be 100 percent worthwhile. Parents need to know the warning signs, so they can step in and take control of their children's lifestyles before it is too late.
Michael J. Talley Jr.
The Drug Dealer
Can you picture him? He's a guy with a wide-brimmed straw hat; a funky, neon-colored suit; sunglasses; and a gold chain hanging around his neck, or a gold fob falling off his pants. He's the big-time dealer, right? He tempts your children to try illicit drugs, gets them hooked, and then makes them rely on him for their future supplies while he collects all the money. Right?
Wrong.
Drug dealers come in all sizes and shapes: individuals, big drug cartels, strangers, and the kid next door. They are of all races, genders, religions, nationalities, education levels, and income levels, and they are everywhere. Your child's first drug contact could be with a schoolmate who encourages him to take that first drag on a reefer (marijuana) or that first sip of beer or liquor.
When children are confronted by drug dealers who are classmates, friends, acquaintances, or friends of friends, they don't feel threatened, because the dealer doesn't look like a dealer. Some of their friends may be dealers who do not stand out, because they are in the same school activities as your children. The traditional, old image of a drug dealer is incongruous with the image of the kid down the block your children play with. It is such an inconsistent picture that your child is deceived into thinking this kid offering him a sip of beer, a hit on a joint, or a half of a Darvon pill can't be so bad. So, your child may take the offer. What your children don't learn at home, they learn in the streets. It is crucial to discuss drugs with your children at home.
It is important to know that there are guys in suits out there selling drugs, and there are major drug groups (cartels) who deal in the big business of buying, selling, and smuggling drugs. There are also gangs who would love to get your children hooked. The average drug dealer is a kid who goes to school with your children. You need to teach your children to refuse any offer of illicit drugs, alcohol, and prescription medications in any form. This includes over-the-counter drugs that can be toyed with and manipulated and household solvents that can be inhaled. Selling drugs to children is big business. It is not a random act of irrational stupidity; drug dealers have a "business" plan—just like any other successful organization.
Seldom do dealers sell any pure drug. They may start a new user with pure substances, but, once their victim is hooked, they begin to mix the drug with other substances. Then, when your child becomes a user, he or she will rely on the dealer (and others) for a ready supply—but the dealer wants to make money from your child, so the price goes up, while the drug is being diluted with other substances. Some of these mixtures can be deadly, such as heroin cut with fentanyl. Your child ends up not only hooked but also in poverty, because he or she can no longer support the habit. Your addicted child resorts to stealing, usually starting with family members, followed by friends and strangers, graduating to shoplifting and robbery, murder and/or suicide. None of it is a pretty picture, but all of it can be prevented simply by testing your children periodically, to let them know you're watching what they do and that you are not going to let them get sucked into the wormhole of substance abuse. Testing has the capability of deterring your children from even trying substances; simply having the drug-test kit in your home can be a deterrent in itself.
You, the parent, may actually be an unknowing drug dealer by having prescription and over-the-counter (OTC) medications somewhere in your home easily accessible to your children. You may be contributing to your children's problem without even realizing it. This is merely one way parents can actually enable their children. If you are taking prescribed medications, lock them up; the same goes for over-the-counter drugs and alcohol. Children may start sneaking pills and alcohol if they know where you keep them and how much is available to them—without you knowing they have done so. Lead by example. Don't do drugs or drink recklessly in front of your children. Illicit drugs are illegal for everyone. Don't abuse your prescription medications, either. Take them as prescribed; do not self-medicate. And teach your children to respect prescription medications, as well. Your children are much, much more inclined to do what they see you do than what you tell them to do.
Your children do not want a "cool" friend for a parent. They yearn for discipline; otherwise, they feel as if you don't care. A lack of boundaries makes them think they can do whatever they want, disregarding right and wrong.
You have to learn who your children's friends are and what kind of homes and families they have. Investigate their school lives, grades, and activities, and keep tabs on the money they spend, where it comes from, and what they buy. Give your time generously to them, just talking and enjoying one another's company. Discuss rules and consequences, be consistent in enforcing them, and provide discipline when it is needed.
Consider this image (via an anonymous poem as offered on the Internet) of what a drug dealer does. This graphically describes what an addicted person goes through, no matter what the drug, but particularly with meth. Read this closely. Close your eyes and picture this person as your son or daughter; you'll understand why it's important for you to take control now.
He swaggers and is full of it
Overjoyed your kid will take a hit.
He'll suck him in, ruining your love for he who you gave birth,
Knowing he is stealing your child's worth, destroying your mirth.
Your child will run after that dealer,
Even if he turns him into a killer.
Your kid needs that supply,
Steal, cheat, live, or die.
Your child will fade right before your eyes,
His mouth will utter only ugly lies.
He'll distort into someone you don't know,
Yelling, screaming, fighting blow by blow.
His teeth will rot and decay,
His mind will wither, go astray.
His eyes will sink into his skull,
His body will shrink and fall.
This poem gives you insight into a child doing drugs or alcohol. It is a quick, transitory glimpse into what the future holds for families whose children are doing chemicals. Drug use is devastating—it destroys every shred of decency, severs any bonds of love, pierces each beating heart, and eats the bodies of users and abusers inside out.
A Recovering Addict's Poem
The following poem is by Melaina, Mike Talley's daughter, who became addicted to marijuana at the age of twelve and eventually was introduced to heroin by her "boyfriend" (who ran back to Mexico). Some say marijuana is not a "gateway" drug—but it is! The poem shows the level of despair an addict feels.
Where Do We Go Now
by Melaina Talley
If I could be anything besides me
I would be a butterfly, beautiful and free
I'd spread my wings, fly through the sky
I wouldn't have to pick up a needle and get high
I remember the feeling of being numb inside
Friends dying all around me, and I couldn't even cry
You would ask me how my day was
And I would say, "fine"
Yeah, screwed up, insecure, neurotic, and emotionless
That was me all the time
But I would follow up with these words
In the back of my mind
For if you knew the real me
I'd be scared you might hide
I reminisce about the things I have seen
Like the old lady pushing a cart
And washing in a public restroom
Just to get clean
How we lowered our standards, our morals—no freedom
And got shot at or stabbed, searched or beaten
And all for what?
For a euphoric feeling
But wait, it's not over yet
The game has just begun
This is hell
Welcome
For you have entered the jungle
Need a ride down the way?
There's no turning back now
At least that's what I thought
On those hopeless, empty days
Think about my past?
No freaking way
I'm gonna kick tomorrow
Screw that; another opportunity
To run away for another day
But things have changed now
I'm gonna give this recovery thing a try
For once in my life, it's a good shot I'm taking
One to give me a different high
Cause if it doesn't work out
I can always go back to die.
And you might say,
"It could be your last high, Melaina
You just might die"
And I think to myself
As I ponder that thought
For my fear is all the suffering
That goes along with getting high
I wouldn't be one of the "lucky" ones
Who go out and die
What's the solution? Prevention! If you prevent the problem, you won't have to worry about your child ever starting the cycle of hellish addiction.
Chapter Two
Understanding the Problem
The Awful Facts
Statistics are often thrown at us, but do we really pay attention? If we did, we would probably all be out protesting the availability of drugs and alcohol. Statistics don't always show the whole truth. By the time numbers are taken, recorded, verified, and published, they are already outdated—and meanwhile the problem has grown worse. Drug abuse numbers never get better over the years. Dealers have just gotten more devious. Take a good look at these stats.
Statistics on Youth and Substance Abuse
(Some of these statistics appeared in the original manual by The Drug Test Consultant; refer to the Preface). Nearly every child, of any age and income level, is offered drugs. Consider the following:
* America accounts for approximately 6% of the world's population, yet consumes approximately 67% of the world's illicit drugs.
* Over 35 million Americans are addicted to legal and nonlegal medications.
* 18 million Americans are alcoholics. [National Household Survey, NIDA—the National Institute on Drug Abuse].
* Nearly 20 million Americans regularly use hashish or marijuana.
* Over 5 million people regularly use cocaine or crack.
* Every day 5,000 people use cocaine or crack for the first time.
* Today's marijuana is at least 5–20 times stronger than that of the 1960s and 1970s. Kids have a wide choice of powerful, mind-altering drugs (such as ecstasy, Ketamine, and GHB).
* 88.5% of school-aged children say it is easy to get drugs.
* More than 60% of youth who use marijuana before the age of 15 go on to cocaine.
* Over 54% of high-school students will have used an illegal drug by the time they are seniors. Age 13 is the average for first use.
* 1 out of every 2 kids has tried drugs.
* 2 out of 10 kids regularly use illegal drugs, prescription drugs, or alcohol.
* 82% of those of working age have used cocaine.
* "Club drugs" are often available at raves (parties) where supervision is lacking and secrecy, unsafe sex, and impaired judgment are common.
* Before parents suspect it, their kids have used drugs/alcohol for about 2 years.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from DRUGS AND YOUR TEENby Gianni DeVincenti Hayes Michael J. Talley Jr. Copyright © 2011 by Gianni DeVincenti Hayes, Ph.D. and Michael J. Talley Jr. . Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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