Are You A Dickhead?

Maybe you have wondered if you are a Dickhead? Or maybe you know that you aren’t a Dickhead but you know someone who is, someone who doesn’t know that he or she (yes, girls can be dickheads too) is a real Dickhead and you want that person to know that he or she is a Dickhead.

If so, this book is for you and for them.

Are You A Dickhead? takes a humorous but also educational look at manners and lack of manners. It looks at things that people do and don’t do in Public, when Getting Around, in Relationships, and in their Brain that make them Dickheads.

Are You A Dickhead? asks the reader 100 simple questions and provides the reader with a choice of 5 circle the letter style simple answers.
By answering all of the questions, the reader can create a DH Score. This enables the reader to determine whether he or she is:
* A Dickhead
* Close to being a Dickhead, and if so, how close
* Not a Dickhead

Questions such as:

QUESTION 31
When driving your car‚ do you:
R ..Change lanes without looking first.
U ..Drive side by side with the car next to you.
A ..Speed up when someone is trying to pass you.
D ..Linger in other drivers’ blind spot.
H ..Stay alert and keep an eye on other drivers. You know that the other drivers just might be a Dickhead.

QUESTION 55
When you ask someone out on a date or you are asked out on a date‚ do you:
R ..Expect that you will get laid.
U ..Ask your date to be laid.
A ..Pay for the date only if it means that you are likely to get laid.
D ..Plan to go dutch or to pay and don’t expect or ask to be laid.
H ..Get angry if you go out and don’t get laid. Your philosophy is that if you go out on a date, it’s only right that you do get laid.

QUESTION 74
You’re in a car on a first date. You’ve been holding in a fart since getting into the car. You find that you can’t hold the fart much longer. What do you do?
R ..Make up a story about having a poop hole problem, going into detail so your date has a mental image of the problem. Then fart.
U ..Simply let it out when it wants out. If your date isn’t happy with what comes out ‒ too bad, that’s your motto.
A ..Sit on your hand and squeeze your butt cheeks together, releasing the fart gradually.
D ..Tell your date that you need to get out for a second. You stop, get out and let it rip.
H ..Slide in and play the Heavy Metal CD you keep with you for such occasions, really loud. This has in the past taken your dates’ minds off what you are about to do ‒ fart.

QUESTION 78
When you use a friend’s toilet‚ do you:
R ..Not flush, thus leaving your pee or poop in the toilet when you leave.
U ..Pee, poop and flush.
A ..Stuff a sock or hand towel down the toilet so that the next time your friend uses his or her toilet, it will overflow. You like to play jokes on your friends.
D ..Leave poop marks on the inside of the toilet bowl.
H ..Intentionally pee on the toilet seat and laugh as you do.

There are a lot of Dickheads in the world. They sometimes sit next to you on the bus, train, subway or plane. Your boss or co-worker might be a Dickhead. Your neighbor could be a Dickhead. And heaven forbid that your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife or your lover is a Dickhead.

No doubt the world would be a nicer place to live if there were fewer Dickheads. Answering the 100 questions in this book will enable the reader to do their part, to discover things that they need to improve in themselves, their manners – to help make the world a better place for us all.