CHAPTER 1

Awareness and Inner Peace

He who knows others is wise.He who knows himself is enlightened.

–Lao Tzu

Monkey Mind

In this day and age, it's difficult to find places of peace.We're surrounded by constant noise. Have you noticed that,even walking along the sidewalk, we're often bombardedby advertising or music deliberately broadcasting onloudspeakers? Commercials now run in what used to be publicspace. People shout into their cell phones, and there's no way toavoid unintentionally overhearing conversations. Our attentionis diverted by multiple sensations. We may sometimes feeloverwhelmed by the hustle and bustle of modern life. However,it is possible, even in this boisterous chaos, to create momentsof awareness and clarity, to create inner peace.

It begins with awareness.

When we are unconscious of our thoughts, feelingsand, thus, our motivations, we are at the mercy of physicalsensations, emotional impulses and unmindful reactivity.We cannot be present, much less still. We bounce from onethought, feeling or reaction to another. "Monkey mind" is whatthe Buddhists call this incessant hyperactivity. In this unrestfulstate of suffering, we misperceive our true selves and ourplace in the world. We misperceive others. It is only when webecome the aware observer of all of our experiences—notthe fluctuating feelings, thoughts or sensations—that we canbe free. This discovery process requires moments of silence.

On the Value of Silence

Even a few minutes of silence per day can encourage a personto pay attention to his or her internal world. Each of us cancarve out this time in such mundane moments as sitting at astoplight or even while standing in line:

1) Turn off the radio and cell phone.

2) Take a deep breath and simply notice.

3) At the office, if possible, close the door and unplug thephone during breaks, just for a few minutes.

4) Stop multi-tasking. Focus on one thing at a time.

5) Go outside at lunchtime, walk or drive to a park oranother peaceful location nearby.

Notice how these simple steps impact the rest of your day.In each moment we have an opportunity to make informedchoices, rather than react out of habit. We can recognize ourhabitual ways of reacting, and then in the pause created byour awareness, we will have clarity about the right actions totake in the right time and in the right place.

On Meditation

Recently, I have noticed that much of my suffering is caused byinappropriate reactions to events, people or things around me.When I am aware of this, I am much more capable of mindfulchoices, rather than knee-jerk reactions. The ability to discernwhat is really happening, how people are really behaving orwhat something actually is allows me an opportunity to choosethe right course of action, if any is required. I've discoveredthat simply noticing events, people and objects is enough.Sometimes I can just let things be as they are, instead of takinginappropriate action.

When I discovered meditation in my late twenties, it wasa blessing. However, it was not easy at first. Even with thesupport of experienced teachers, meditation brought up painfulfeelings and thoughts I had repressed for many years. As achild I was molested and sexually assaulted by acquaintancesof my parents. It was enough to terrify me, and it led to deeplyingrained feelings of shame in my adolescence and earlyadulthood. When I started meditating, I needed additionalsupport to handle the painful reality I had long ago sought tobury. I was fortunate to have a partner, friends and counselorswho helped me sort through the past, confirm that the presentwas worth living and that I could create a better future.

If meditation scares you, there may very well be a reason.If you find that you uncover frightened parts of yourself thathave been dormant for a long time, I recommend you reachout for support from a trusted friend, family member, spouse,minister and/or counselor. Post-traumatic stress disorder canimpact people years after a traumatic event has occurred. Itis incredibly empowering to uncover your past and own it, allof it, even the painful parts of your life.

In Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness andWell-Being, Dr. Martin E.P. Seligman puts forward the groundbreakingidea of post-traumatic growth, writing:

A few years ago, Chris Peterson, Nansook Park, and Iadded a link to my Authentic Happiness website www.authentichappiness.org. The new questionnaire listed fifteenworst things that can happen in a person's life: torture, graveillness, death of a child, rape, imprisonment, and so on. Ina month, 1,700 people reported at least one of these awfulevents, and they took our well-being tests as well. To oursurprise, individuals who'd experienced one awful event hadmore intense strengths (and therefore higher well-being)than individuals who had none. Individuals who had beenthrough two awful events were stronger than individuals whohad one, and individuals who had three—raped, torturedand held captive for example—were stronger than thosewho had two.

Our traumas can actually enhance our strengths and lead usforward to better lives. We can harness awareness, ask forhelp and receive the support needed to make meaning ofdifficult experiences in our lives. It is important to understandthat we did the best we could, considering the situation inthe past, and also that we do not have to remain stuck in thepast or hurt in the present. It is possible to take everything weencounter, even tragic and traumatic events, and to create abrighter and better future, using our strengths, resources andresilience.

Vipassana and Metta Meditation

There are many forms of meditation. Western variations includethe silent reflection found in the Christian faith. The practiceI have personally found to be helpful for awareness is theBuddhist practice called vipassana, or mindfulness meditation.In vipassana I notice myself breathing in and out. I noticehow the breath feels on my lip or in my nostrils. Sometimes Icount, "One. Two. Three. Four ...," the in-breath and out-breathand the pauses that occur before breathing in and breathingout. I become aware of my thoughts, physical sensations,feelings and anything else that is happening around me. Inotice my reactions to external events, sounds and stimuli. Icome back to my breath. I come back to the present moment,and I become aware of the observer Self who has awakened. Ibecome awake to the other parts of myself that are habituallyin control.

Another useful practice I have found is metta, or loving-kindnessmeditation. There are many variations of metta, butat the heart of all of them is the active practice of wishingyourself, those you love, those you like, those you feel neutraltowards, those you dislike and those you may think you hate thesame levels of peace, happiness and freedom from suffering. Iexpand my capacity for love and equanimity by practicing thismeditation. I become aware that we all suffer and that we allwant to be free from suffering. Vipassana allows for an openingof the consciousness, while metta allows for an opening of theheart. Both allow for awareness, clarity and realization of theSelf.

Ironically, when I least have the time or inclination tomeditate, I most need to do it. For example, as I write and editthis book, I have been struggling with some past memoriesthat came up during meditation. I am upset by my currentthoughts and feelings about them. Yet sifting through theserecollections and reactions as they surface, allowing myselfto feel and think and then to breathe through them, I foundgold among the dirt and stones. I have been able to pick outthese nuggets and polish them and share them in this bookfor what I hope is the benefit of others struggling with similartraumas in their lives.

In awareness we have choice, and with choice we have thepotential for inner peace.

An Interview with a Practitioner ofBody-Mind-Spirit AwarenessMaster Wasentha Young of Peaceful Dragon Schoolwww.peacefuldragonschool.comwasentha@peacefuldragonschool.com

I was fortunate to know many adept practitioners, counselorsand healers when I lived in Ann Arbor, Michigan. I am alsograteful to call Master Wasentha Young, who is the owner anddirector of the Peaceful Dragon School of T'ai Chi Ch'uan andChi Kung, a friend. In addition to training in T'ai Chi since 1968,she has a background in Taoist and Buddhist meditation, hasearned certificates in Acupressure and as a Wellness Counselorin Mind-Body Consciousness, and holds a Master's degreein Transpersonal Studies from the Institute of TranspersonalPsychology in California. Wasentha is an African-Americanwoman with a ready smile and a youthful beauty that beliesher experience and wisdom. She is forthright in a way thatsome might find intimidating, but those who truly know heradmire her and appreciate her wit. She is fascinated by theinterconnections between body, mind and spirit. She is wellversed in the study and practice of awareness.

When I interviewed her, we sat in my living room on a wintryevening in 2009, each with a hot mug of tea clasped in ourhands to warm them. I began by asking what first interestedher about becoming more aware.

She replied, "Someone once asked me, `Can you imaginewho we'd be if we used more of our brains?' It motivated me toopen up my conscious awareness and become more presentto the influences of the unconscious." In essence Wasenthawas suggesting that awareness is an ongoing process andnot an end result.

She explained, "In being present to the unconscious, Ican feel a vibration of something like a distant drum, buzzor light. For me this awareness is being conscious of beingunconscious, feeling the connection of everyday reality and thefabric of dream/unconscious costuming my awake state."

This was a lot of information to take in at first, and I could seeshe had given the topic of awareness a great deal of thoughtand consideration over the years. Wasentha was touching uponmore than just being aware of thoughts, feelings, sensationsand/or events or situations as they were in each moment.She was talking about delving deeper into the subconsciousthoughts, unconscious motivations and reflex actions thatcreate "reality," like the man behind the curtain in The Wizardof Oz. She was talking about awareness of awareness.

Wasentha continued, "There is a tangible relationship youcan connect between the conscious and the unconsciousthrough awareness. In T'ai Chi and Chi Kung, which translatesas `energy work,' it starts as the physical body informing themind; at a certain point in study, the mind informs the body, todeveloping the awareness of the continuous dialogue betweenmind, body and spirit. At this point the practice becomessensual: physical, mental and spiritual."

I asked, "So the physical practice of T'ai Chi and Chi Kungare actually entryways to mental and spiritual awareness?"I was still trying to expand my consciousness and take ineverything she was saying. She nodded, but as she did, Irealized it was more than that. She was saying that there wasan interrelationship between the physical, mental and spiritualand that each of these seemingly separate categories wereinterconnected.

"Many people call them physical forms of meditation thatcan be practiced regularly to achieve awareness. What advicedo you have for those wanting to become more aware?" Iasked, expecting her to advise practicing T'ai Chi or Chi Kung,but her response surprised me.

"I absolutely advocate nature as a vehicle to help withawareness."

"Nature?"

"Yes, I have an exercise I share with students. I find apath at the edge of a woodsy or natural environment innature. I bow to the path and say to myself, `Nature becomesmy consciousness.' From that point every step I take is anadventure into myself. What I see, hear, smell and even tasteon the path becomes a reflection of my consciousness."

"The outward reflects the inward?" I asked, rhetorically, inorder to help myself understand where she was going with thisidea. "And vice versa?"

Wasentha elaborated, "Nature doesn't have a prescribedpattern. It can be reflective of different aspects of ourconsciousness. You can explore so many aspects of yourstates of being in this way. You can access awareness throughthe body, mind, and spirit as parts of the whole."

Her description of this process made me want to try it ata local park.

"I personally prefer embodied styles of meditations, butyou can still reach awareness without having a particularpractice," she said.

It was liberating to hear that there were many paths tobecoming more aware and that different methods work fordifferent people. Yet, this was the first time I had heard fromanyone that people didn't need a particular practice in orderto become more aware.

She continued, "There are so many styles of meditation."

I pondered this new angle in understanding awareness,and I took a deep breath and was aware of it.

"A lot of times, it has to do with perspectives." Wasenthasaid, "I tell my students the main components to awarenessare: 'We relax down. We open up. We reflect. We change.'Awareness is not centered in the mind, body or spirit but ratherin open relationships."

Wasentha concluded, getting up from her chair, "You willfeel more vulnerable as you become more aware. Ironically, it iswhen we start becoming aware that we feel more." She pausedand smiled slightly. "Know that there is strength in vulnerabilityand be aware of your filters. Trust in the intelligence of yourawareness."

It was the first time someone had ever suggested that beingmore vulnerable was a sign of awakening and that vulnerabilitycould be a strength. I thanked my friend, Wasentha, for thisinsight. She was saying that awareness meant feeling more.It was transcendent conversation for which I am grateful toshare.

Inner Peace Explorations:

If you have 5 to 10 minutes, answer the following:

Do you allow yourself moments of silence and space to createit? How often?

What other ways do you cultivate awareness and clarity in yourlife? (e.g. martial arts, art, sports, prayer, etc ...)

Have there been moments when you've noticed your habitualreactions to people, events or things? How did you react? Areyou able to go with the flow or pause before taking action?

Who in your life can support you in creating opportunities formore silence, awareness and clarity?

Is there anything that comes into your consciousness duringmeditation that is in need of healing? If so, what is it? Whatresources, people and practices can you cultivate to experiencepost-traumatic growth?

If you have more time:

Look into a form of meditation that interests you. You can tryvipassana, metta or another technique. Or, if you prefer physicalmovement to stillness, try walking in nature, as Master Youngsuggested. Or, perhaps, you could try yoga or T'ai Chi oranother martial art? You may wish to sign up for a class orbuy or rent a CD or DVD for initial guidance in one of theseforms. Or you can go into nature with the intention of beingpresent and aware. I encourage you to stick with your chosenpractice, form or activity for at least a full month. It may beuncomfortable or frustrating at first, but as you deepen yourpractice, you will begin to observe increased awareness andfind precious insights. Write these down in a journal or recordthem. Polish these insights and allow your budding awarenessto light your way.

CHAPTER 2

Names Have Meanings.Words Have Power.

What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any otherword would smell as sweet.

–William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet 2.1.85-86

What Meaning is in a Name?

What really is in a name? Is it really true that if someone werenamed Ichabod it would still sound as sweet as Nathaniel?How about what each one means? "Glory is gone" and "Godhas given," respectively. Most people in this day and age areunaware of what their names mean. Some may check a babyname book or online when selecting a name for their child butonly glance at the meaning of their own names, if at all.