Mate

Genesis 2:18-25 (NIV)

18 The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." 19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, 'for she was taken out of man." 24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. 25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Choosing your mate

Marriage is for every single person that desires to have a mate. A mate is someone that is labeled as a partner, associate, counter-part, interpersonal, companion, friend and mostly a spouse. Better yet, it is part of God's plan from the beginning. In Genesis 2:18 (NIV), The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. In the King James Version (KJV), it reads, And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. The "helper suitable for him" is the "help meet", whose purpose is to meet the man's needs according to God's plan.

Notice the reason why God decided to find a "help meet" for His create being that would be "suitable" for the man. God placed in Adam the ability and power to follow God's plan. This assignment was too big for Adam to do "alone", so God created a woman to assist him. She would be his equal with the distinct purpose to support her man in completing his assignment from God. She was able to relate to her man, physically, spiritually, mentally and socially. Her support bought wholeness into this equation and Adam found satisfaction in Eve.

Including God in your selection of a mate is advised for it was He who bought the woman to the man. So often most people are clueless when it comes to selecting a mate. Many are persuaded by what they see with the naked eye. "If it looks good than it must be good" is their slogan. Social media and the trends of today often add their two cents to this dilemma that can take a person way off track. We must never forget that our God is sensitive to our needs and willing to supply them as we wait on Him.

Let us examine Genesis 2:19-20, Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. Did you notice that God "brought" every "living creature" to Adam to see "what he would name them"? While fulfilling God's assignment, Adam realizes there was no suitable partner for himself. This was no surprise to God but, a fulfillment of what He Himself had prophesied. Following God requires that our state of mind be in alignment with His, single-mindedness for the Lord. Living with this focus, allows us to see things the way God see things. We undertake God "image" and "likeness" [Genesis 1:26]. We operate with God at the helm, steering our ship through life's ups and downs. So it was then God made a "helper suitable" for Adam, perfect in every way.

How does one prepare yourself for your mate?

Let's read Genesis 2:21, So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. What needs to be implemented for preparation for this union?

1] TRUST in the LORD. Verse 21 says, the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. Adam is no longer in control and was not aware of God's intervention. God was doing the work as Adam slept peacefully in complete trust and faith. The heavy sleep sent by God, was not a sleep of weariness or fatigue but, a supernatural slumber, whereas God was able to perform this miracle without Adam feeling any pain or discomfort. All of us who believe God must trust His leadership.

Our thoughts, ideas, intentions, plans, motives, desires, strengths, and confidence are exchange for His. If you are single and saved you need to be totally dependence on the Lord for everything. I will call this the "deep sleep" training. This is so necessary for everyone preparing for marriage. God is ready to do something beyond our imagination and ability, just like He did for Adam. The Lord stands ready to do a great work in the lives of single individuals who wants to become the "suitable helpmeet" in the marriage union.

The bible tells us in Proverbs 3:5-6, Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths. In other words, to trust the Lord means you are totally, dependence on the Lord to guide and direct you. There is no hesitation in letting God work out what is necessary for your life. Notice it says "with all your heart", which includes all your emotions, feelings, desires, fears, goals, ambitions, motives, successes, failures, aspirations, needs, experiences and passions, past and present relationships. Comparing what was done in the past must go! When you trust the Lord, it means, you will let the Lord do it! Giving your life up and over is vital to God's divine makeover!

2] REST and RELAX. The bible continues in Proverbs 3:5-6, "lean not to your own understanding". Do not try to fix things that you became accustom to by including in what God is trying to do with you. Remember, the Lord is preparing the singles as the single individuals let the Lord prepare them for their mate. Most of the time, we develop different characteristics and personalities base on our experiences, which cause us to become something else and not necessarily what God wants for our lives.

The preparation starts with trusting the Lord, and then resting and relaxing. Finding the peace that allows God to demonstrate His sovereign will in our lives. When you rest and relax, you are telling God, "Not my will, let thy will be done"! Let spend more time in the preparation and less time in the performance because, if you prepare properly, you will perform perfectly!

3] "ACKNOWLEDGE". This means, to recognize and accept whatever God is going to do with you. The bible says in Proverbs 3:6, "In all your ways acknowledge him", which means understanding God's will for your life. The Lord is your present help! Notice it says, "in all your ways", single people must give what they think, believe, and experience concerning their expectations of a mate to the Lord. God wants "all your ways" and "all your heart" [Proverbs 3:5] because, the Lord wants "all" so He can to do it "all".

The "heart" is where the decisions are made and "your ways" are the actions of the heart. God wants the heart and the actions, which gives the Lord full control of the people lives, then He can "direct your paths" [Proverbs 3:6]. The Lord will guarantee a straight and beautiful "path" towards your mate but, you must "acknowledge" what the Lord is preparing you for. It has nothing to do with where you came from, what you experience, who was in your life, what mistakes you made, how old you are, what disabilities you have, what you think about yourself, what people said about you, God "shall" (promise, assurance, pledge), "direct your path". And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus [Philippians 4:7 NIV].

6] SUBMIT. This is found in Genesis 2:21, and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Notice the Lord at work while Adam "was sleeping", which means Adam was totally submitted to the Lord's decisions. Submission says, I surrender and is willing to be arrestedfrom my ways and will ... I give up! No more fighting! I no longer have my own desires but, I volunteer willfully to my master's will ... I do not belong to myself, I belong to the Lord, and Him alone. Can you say, God arrested you and now you are His prisoner to do whatever He wants and you will not fight or resist Him? Nevertheless, the Lord prefers obedience, and when individuals submit, they are giving the Lord the opportunity to do as the Lord sees fit. Preparation is a working process as the Lord direct and guides us towards the project at work. So as Adam; trust, rest and relax, acknowledge and submit, and allow God to operate, as the Lord takes "one of man's ribs."

How you know if he or she is the ONE?

In Genesis 2:22-23 the bible says, Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." Notice the response from Adam, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. Adam was excited when he received and accepted who the Lord "brought" to him. The first things that should be express from a single person when they see him or she is excitement. A time of rejoicing, eagerness, and enthusiasm with great expectation, of the one person God has open your eyes to. It should not be regrets or grudges when you see your mate but, excitement and joy.

Even when there are misunderstandings or misinterpretations, these things should not kill or destroy the joy you have for each other. He or she should be thinking about each other all day, wondering what each other is doing, waiting for an opportunity to make contact, looking for ways to say "Hi" or an excuse to stop by. Find time to tell others about this person and making it top priority to let each other know they are thinking about one another. Furthermore, this does not mean there will not be any arguments or disagreements but, both individuals are willing to talk it out and try to find a common solution. With social networks and the internet, there are numerous opportunities to make contact and different ways to express your feelings for one another.

Personally, I knew Denise was going to be my wife because we both enjoyed each other's company. It was a part of the everyday routine to check in with each other to see how both of us were coming along and we both lived with our parents. We were friends and the fellowship of two friends went along way because we had no secrets. In Amos 3:3 (NIV) says, Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so? English Standard Version (ESV) Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet? (NLT) Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?

Agreement is to walk together, meet with each other, willing to establish their purpose to be with each other, which are the keys to a successful and productive relationship. Denise would write letters of how she loved me and miss me. That made me excited! I was flabbergasted! Notice, the bible versions ask a question, which denotes having a choice to be with each other. God does not force us to connect with anyone that cannot and refuse to agree with each other. It is important to have an open line of communication with each other. Denise and I were able to talk to each other about everything and anything, even though some topics were sensitive, delicate and heart penetrating but, being in each other company outweighs the difficult issues.

The second thing is identify the person by a name. The bible says, Adam "called her woman" and the bible continues to explain why Adam said "woman" because, "she was taken out of man". This is important because, the bible makes it clear that Adam seen the physical, biological different, she was the same but, different. Adam was amaze in what God has done, and Adam expresses his satisfaction for what the Lord demonstrated in a personal and unique way.

Adam recognizes this lovely creature that was presented to him was a piece of himself. She has become Adam's companion, the wife of his covenant, was called "woman". When the Lord does something beyond our expectation, we must accept what the Lord does with gratitude of appreciations. Never think the Lord would identify a mate for you that is just like you! He or she will be the same but, different and we must learn to accept God's plan for our lives. We must agree, and not reject!

Being single we cannot look at the physical body of our mate. Physical beauty is awesome and it can be attractive but, it does not last. When Denise and I got married, I had a head full of hair but, now I am bald. Can you imagine if Denise married me for my hair? What about that cute little dress Denise was wearing proudly 30 years ago? Remember, in time your spouse will change, not always for the bad but, he or she will not remain the same physically. God wants us to focus more on the person's characteristics, personality, and mostly, their relationship with the Lord.

Over time things change but, most of the times it gets better and can enhance the relationship. God warns Samuel about that physical "appearance" in 1 Samuel 16:7 (NIV), But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart". In other words, let God bring your mate to you. As you pray, let the Lord open your eyes concerning your future spouse and He will reveal what you need to know about your mate.

When you meet your mate sent by God, you will give him or her a name; a personal name, a special name, a private name, a peculiar name, a unusual name, an extraordinary name, an intimate name, a name that would connect both individuals to each other. The name represents identification, not to everyone else but, to you. Adam identifies the "woman" (wife) as part of himself and he made the connection personal. He said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. Adam took ownership by naming when he seen what God had for him, and with ownership comes responsibility. However, in Genesis 3:20, Adam called the woman "Eve because she was the mother of all living". So the "woman", which is the wife, is now "Eve", which identifies her to life, a mother. As the name change, it detects what the responsibilities will entails to connect the two to become one.

What did God say?

As believers, we must recognize God's plan for the men and women who accepted the institution of marriage and being single is not an option. We must forget about what we want and focus on what God wants and allow Him to establish the connection. We must ask the question, "What did God say?" If the Lord is in our lives and we know He knows us better than we know ourselves, in preparation for marriage, we must receive the final authority from the Word of God. God said in Genesis 2:24-25, That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

The man must "leave" the comforts, the trainings, the instructions, the habits, the provisions, the protections, the experiences, the cares, the likes and dislikes of the parents and "unite" or joined or cleave unto his wife. It is the man's responsibility to take all that he learned from his parents by disconnecting from them and connect to his wife to practice what was taught to build up each other. However, we are not saying, forget about your parents or isolate yourself from your parents, or disregard your parents but, teach each other what you learned from your parents by applying those principles in this new relationship ordained by God. God wants to be the source and provider for this relationship, which would cause the two to "become one flesh".

If the couple starts the relationship by obeying the biblical principles of God's Word, according to Genesis 2:18-24, then the end result would be verse 25, which states, Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. In other words, there would be a connection that could not be broken or intercepted. Being "naked" means they were transparent, visible, noticeable, open-minded, no hidden agenda and a willingness to accept each other. This would lead them to have "no shame", which means, no regret, no uncertainty, no guilt, and no doubt concerning the things that the Lord has for each other. Marriage requires sacrifices and a commitment not only to the Lord but, to each other. It is imperative to establish that one-on-one relationship with each other to identify all that God has put in each other to "become one flesh". When you know he or she belongs to you and you have no doubt that God sent him or her to you, then you are ready to accept whoever the Lord has for your life.