Synopsis
"Behave how I want, or I’ll withhold my love from you...my money...my approval. Forever!" Harsh words, maybe less blunt but always with the same intent: demonstrate the upper hand over us, put on the squeeze. Or maybe: "I'm in such pain because you will (or won't) do it." Guilt heaped up, to bend us to an intimidator's will. We live in a toxic environment. Polluted air, contaminated water, additives and adulterations and frankenfood. But most damaging are toxic conversational broadsides against us. People jockey for advantage, put us down, play the shame and guilt cards, intimidate us with fear of being assaulted or abandoned. Words are the most powerful tools the human species has created. They inspire and comfort, influence us positively. Or attack and destroy, take people down, wage economic warfare and corrupt political theater. * Taunts remembered from a playground can cost you success in business today. * Parental upbraiding may now bankrupt your ability to relate, nourish those you love. * Snarky jabs from friends may lead you to undervalue yourself, discount your dreams, leave you a pincushion attracting pains, false beliefs and negative emotions. Verbal aggression, these de-humanizing experience evoke the same psychological consequences as physical assault, a rape…one executed with that most effectively invasive and potentially sadistic part of the human body: the tongue. A conversational rape. We are conversationally raped everyday: by commercial messages and politically correct indoctrination, by authorities who want to keep you in your place -- out of their way. And like any rape victim, we carry psychological scars. Dr. Pat Allen has healed wounds for over 38 years as an MFT. She knows firsthand the damage caused by ploys of intimidation and induced guilt. And knows how to heal those wounds. The tool she uses to help you is, ironically, words. "Beware your words, for they become habits....your character....your destiny…at the bank, the doctor’s office, in every enterprise in your life and every one of your relationships." You won’t be the same after reading this book. You will no longer be an unwitting victim of subconscious conditioning and lifescripting. Change words you speak to change the way you think, Dr. Allen’s groundbreaking training will help you use words with new potency, heal psychological wounds of conversational rapes, and negotiate authentically for all you want in life....and get it. Androgenous Semantic Realignment™ builds on Freudian/Jüngian principles of psychotherapy, Eric Berne’s Transactional Analysis and Fritz Perls’ Gestalt Therapy, focusing on pathologies which cripple our self-image and ability to relate. WANT® Training, based on ASR and grounded in neocortical science, lets you feel good about yourself and win without sabotaging yourself by threatening or demeaning others, or other “gamesmanship.” It will revitalize what you even think is possible. Making minor tweaks in your speech patterns will actually renew your thought patterns. We think in words, and changing how we think and speak automatically changes how we act. Once you accept that many conversations you have had throughout your life have been subtly, inexorably driving you insane, you can set out to use words in a new way. You can use words to drive yourself, and the people around you, sane. Rape is a traumatic experience. Your mind and body wants to heal itself. No matter what has happened in the past, you are not doomed by experiences, and not hardwired to fail. You can upgrade your mental "hardware" to foster new amazing experiences, create new neural connections to take advantage of opportunities that may have seemed inaccessible in the past. And you will now have the tools to let go of negative beliefs and subconscious stumbling blocks and embrace positive attitude and energies. And knowledge to renew aspects of any area of your life. Foreword by Jim Hallowes, founder-HighlySensitivePeople.com
About the Author
Dr. Pat Allen is a licensed MFT and Certified Transactional Analyst and Cognitive Behavioral Therapist with a PhD in Psychology, a professional counselor to celebrities and CEOs, a specialist in addictions certified by Harvard Medical School, a popular motivational and mental health teacher, communication and relationships consultant to government agencies and large corporations, and founder of the WANT Instittue for Effective Communication Strategies. With a practice spanning over 30 years, Pat has become a nationally acclaimed communication expert, popular love, sex and relationship speaker and media guest, regular on FOX News and CNN, and is the best-selling author of "Getting To 'I Do'" and "Staying Married...and Loving It." Pat is also the Reality Show Guest Therapist who helped Tiffany find her perfect mate on VH1’s ratings buster "I Love New York 2" and frequently appears with Patti Stanger on "The Millionaire Matchmaker." Pat has invested her life in training women and men how to communicate with authenticity, in a loving manner, how to confront each other in a respectful and cherishing way, and how to achieve fundamental self-esteem and restore good physical and mental health through a unique technique she develoiped called Androgynous Semantic Realignment. By "rewiring" the brain, ASR allows individuals to successfully change negative behaviors and overcome addictions by changing their language patterns. Her clients range from hurting individuals and couples to professional communication experts and management executives, and her services have been retained by corporations and associations including IBM, Colgate Palmolive, Cedar-Sinai Hospital, UCLA Medical Center, Hoag Hospital, Vistage, PSI Seminars, the Bill Wilson House and the Betty Ford Clinic. Her tenets and teachings have inspired relationship experts John Gray and Marianne Williamson, comedians Yakov Smirnoff and Pauley Shore, and formed the basis for the feature film "Duty Dating." Oprah Winfrey has showcased Pat four times and praised her as the “Therapist, Comic Mother Superior” when it comes to personal relationships. Rev. Michael Beckwith declares Pat has the talent to go to the core of an individual and assist them out of the mire of their past, and that "the world is a lot better off because of Pat Allen." Pat's warm, humorous and practical style makes her a frequent television and radio guest and motivational speaker much in demand at the international level.
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