Have you ever wondered if there's a part of you working against yourself? Your subconscious beliefs have manifested every relationship and material possession in your life. Isn't it time for you to be in charge of your beliefs? Isn't it time for you to pick what you want in your life? So what do you want? The ability to choose only comes when you know the choices. Are you ready to turn your saboteur into an ally? Would you like better relationships, a better career, more love, more money? Are you ready to unlock your hidden power? Claim your Life will help systematically reveal your subconscious beliefs, uncovering them so they can be uprooted and replaced with healthy beliefs that empower you and support the changes you seek. This process will put you in the power seat of your life, ushering you into the ideal life you deserve. We are all just one step away from feeling empowered. Take that step now.

Claim Your Life

Transform Your Unwanted Subconscious Beliefs Into an Exhilarating Source of PowerBy Boni Oian Emily Sanderson

Balboa Press

Copyright © 2011 Boni Oian, CH, CART/C & Emily Sanderson, MA, LPC
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-3865-5

Contents

Foreword...........................................................xiIntroduction.......................................................1Getting Started....................................................4Choosing to Begin..................................................4Choosing to See Where You Are Now..................................5So What Do You Want?...............................................11Choosing What You Want.............................................11Experiencing What You Want.........................................24Choosing to Experience What You Want...............................24Choosing to Experience What You Want Every Day.....................28Clearing Blocks....................................................36Choosing to Clear Blocks...........................................36Personal Stories...................................................52Personal Stories...................................................52True Freedom.......................................................73True Freedom.......................................................73

Chapter One

Introduction

Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one's thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world. —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Honestly, I've tried countless times to "redefine" my life. I really want to start living the way I've always wanted to live: I want to get organized; I want to make time for what I love to do; and I want to relax and enjoy my interests, hobbies and relationships. I get all motivated; I do tons of work to "de-stress" and "re-order" my life and career; and, somehow, it all inevitably goes back to stressful square one ...

I've tried so many times to find and make healthy relationships, whether finding new relationships or improving relationships I already have. I make up my mind to work on myself, to communicate, to set boundaries, to do everything I think I'm supposed to do ... but somehow I still end up feeling unfulfilled and taken for granted. I can't seem to get anywhere ... It seems like a loop. I'm left feeling depleted, lonely, and uncertain that this cycle will ever change for me ...

I've almost given up on trying to lose weight. It's a heartbreaking cycle for me. I feel embarrassed. I get motivated, I get a plan, I work so hard, and then I hit a wall. I either run out of steam or get knocked on my butt by getting sick, injured, or some crisis coming up—something! I fall back, frustrated and exasperated, and judge myself for failing ... again ...

Many of us want to change some aspects of ourselves, our lives, or our relationships. Some of us are simply looking to enhance what we already enjoy in our lives, while some of us are looking for a total overhaul to completely remodel ourselves, our life situations and our relationships. Either way we may truly struggle to achieve the changes we seek due to unconscious beliefs we unknowingly hold about ourselves or about life in general. Without realizing it, deep down we may believe that the life we dream of living is "too much" to expect, that we are not fully worthy, or that life just isn't like that.

Unconscious beliefs are just that, totally unconscious. You don't even know that they are there. They are the internalized voices of generations of outside influences, operating like your own personal programming, and they dictate how you perceive yourself, your life, and the world around you. Some of your unconscious beliefs may be serving you very well, and some of them may not be serving you at all. But, either way, your unconscious beliefs drive your life. They are your eyes, your ears and your every assumption. They tell you what is possible and not possible for you, limiting your freedom, choice and happiness.

These unconscious beliefs then sabotage our efforts to create the changes we seek in our lives because, left hidden, our unconscious beliefs will always reinforce the status quo. If I unconsciously believe that I am unworthy, for whatever reason, then I will unknowingly seek out people and situations that "match" that belief. I will unknowingly surround myself with people and situations that reinforce that I am unworthy. I will unknowingly seek out relationships with others that do not treat me with the level of love, value, or respect that all people deserve, because deep down I don't believe that I deserve that same level. When I encounter people who do show me that I am worthy, I will dismiss those people by thinking they are mistaken, inferior, or have ulterior motives. And, when I get motivated to improve some aspect of my life or relationships, I will encounter great difficulty because I will be unknowingly up against my unconscious belief that I am not worthy of the improvements I seek.

In working the steps of Claim Your Life, you will systematically reveal these unconscious beliefs, uncovering them so they can be uprooted and replaced with healthy beliefs that empower you and support the changes you seek. This process will put you in the power seat of your life, ushering you into the ideal life you deserve.

Claim Your Life is brief but intense. It is exactly the information you need, no more and no less. The steps of this process are simple, but they are not always easy. Some soul-searching and consistency will be necessary, but the steps are straightforward and broken down into an easy-to-follow workbook format, complete with exercises and examples to support you every step of the way.

Through clear workbook exercises, Claim Your Life will help you master five intensely powerful steps to creating the life you choose:

1. You decide exactly and specifically what you want.

2. You focus consistently on experiencing what you want.

3. You watch for distractions or "blocks" between you and what you want to reveal themselves.

4. When a block comes up, you work the steps to uncover the unproductive belief behind the block.

5. You then uproot and replace your unproductive belief with an empowering belief that supports you having what you want.

The impact of these five steps is profound. Clearly understanding these five steps and applying them to your life is the key to unfolding your new reality. Once you begin working these steps, you will find yourself positively glowing with freedom, power, and choice. The process itself is so empowering that you will begin to see every "block" as an opportunity for growth and adventure. Your fulfillment and excitement will grow as you uproot unwanted beliefs and embrace the life you want ... the life you choose.

Chapter Two

Getting Started

It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life.—Joseph Campbell

Choosing to Begin

Choosing to begin is very brave. While almost everyone would like to change some aspect of their lives, very few people are willing to attempt it. By your bravery, you also reveal your personal belief that change is possible for you. You accurately hold the healthy belief that you are the key to bringing about change in your life. Your belief that you are capable of changing your life is why you picked up Claim Your Life and why you are willing to work these steps.

So we know you believe you are capable of changing your life, but how much change do you believe you can create? Do you believe you can make a few small changes? Do you believe you can make any changes you like? What is your threshold for happiness? What is your threshold for love or money or freedom? Have you been limiting yourself to wanting things you believe are "safer" to want? Have you been using your energy to create excuses for why your life cannot be the way you really want?

Think of yourself as being in the middle of a bubble (this is your comfort zone). Everything that is in the bubble with you consists of all of the things and relationships you now have (these are the things you have believed possible for yourself so far). The things you still want are outside your bubble. The steps in this book will teach you how to expand your bubble to include all possibilities.

Just imagine expanding your bubble further and further to include everything you want. Your energy must be focused on the thoughts and things that are outside your bubble in order for your bubble to expand to include absolutely everything you want.

As you imagine expanding your bubble further and further, notice that you may believe some of your "wants" are just outside your current bubble, meaning you believe they are closer to your bubble and therefore more attainable for you. And, notice that you may believe some of your "wants" are "too far out" from your bubble, meaning that you may believe those things are far less attainable for you. Claim Your Life will challenge you to accept that all things are attainable for you. That there is nothing that is "too much" or "too hard" or "too expensive," just as you cannot be "too lucky" or "too happy" or "too free." The steps to follow will challenge you to remove your limitations on your own possibilities.

As you gain experience with those steps, you will gain trust in this process. And as you gain trust in this process, you will allow yourself to dream bigger and bigger. You can choose to build your muscle on the things you believe are more attainable first, but just know where this process is going. Once you master applying these steps, get ready for the ride.

Choosing to See Where You Are Now

As in any journey, identifying your starting point is the first step toward navigating to your destination. Unless you know where you are, you will not know if you need to take a left, right or keep moving forward.

In this brief section, you'll be asked to complete a description of your life at the moment for the purpose of getting a "baseline." The idea is to briefly and fearlessly write down what you consider to be the basic facts of your life today, including your significant relationships, roles, possessions, events, and situations. Because this exercise is simply about the facts of your life at the moment, try to leave evaluations out of it and just stick to the facts as you perceive them (Remember, this is just about where you are, not about where you want to go or excuses about why you are here).

It's common to be squeamish about describing your current status because it may seem routine or unflattering, especially if you are very unsatisfied in certain areas of your life. But see your brief description as simply the facts of your life at this moment, no more and no less. It is what it is. And you are brave enough to own the truth of this moment and record it objectively. Then you will simply move forward to the process of creating exactly what you do want for yourself.

Exercise: Getting a Baseline

Spend a maximum of 15 or 20 minutes filling in the blanks below. This is designed to be a brief exercise to get a "baseline" for change, not an exercise to over-think. You may find that not all the blanks apply to you, or that you need to "tweak" or add some to fit your situation. Just do your best, and do it from your first gut reaction.

In the end, it will read like a personal and factual description of your life at this moment, warts and all. Here's one example:

Diana's Description

My name is Diana Andrews. I am 42 years old and live in San Antonio, Texas.

My primary roles are mother, wife and career counselor.

Most of the time I feel I'm good at my job and my relationships, but I'm not so good at confrontation, and sometimes I thinks it's really hard for me to take full responsibility for my own life and decisions.

I generally feel satisfied with my pastimes and get a lot of enjoyment from my dogs and nature trails.

I feel generally dissatisfied with not earning enough income because I want to feel that freedom and power which makes me think/feel anxious that I will not have that freedom and power.

Overall, I feel insecure with the amount of money I have and I feel insecure about my home. My possessions I enjoy the most are my home and car and the possessions I crave the most are more land, a barn, and travel.

Overall, I feel passionate about my job. My favorite thing about it is watching people grow, and my least favorite things are watching people stagnate and complain.

One of my most important relationships is my relationship with my daughter, Sophie. Overall, I feel increasingly good about this relationship. My favorite things about it are laughing, relaxing and enjoying cooking together, and my least favorite things are feeling I was not fully available to her in much of her earlier life.

Another one of my most important relationships is my relationship with my husband, Neil. Overall, I feel increasingly good and secure about this relationship. My favorite things about it are our connection, attraction and simple relaxing lifestyle, and my least favorite things are our struggles to grow financially.

I sometimes feel hurt or angry about unfulfilling friend and family relationships.

I sometimes feel sad or guilty about procrastinating or being a perfectionist.

I sometimes feel inadequate or fearful about money, career and ownership.

I would love to do more relaxing, enjoying, delegating and accepting.

I would love to think/feel less busy, overwhelmed and anxious.

I would love to think/feel more calm, centered and in control.

I often feel my greatest gifts are poise, communication, fairness, and humor.

I often feel most grateful for my daughter because she inspires me and has taught me so much.

Right now, the top three things I'd like to work on first are: 1) to stop making excuses and hiding from my potential, 2) to stop getting delayed by perfectionism, approval, hesitation and other "wheel-spinning," 3) to stop procrastinating trying things and doing things just because I don't feel "ready" because I may never feel ready.

Your Turn

My name is _____________________________. I am ______ years old and live in __________________________________________.

My primary roles are _____________________________________.

Most of the time I feel I'm good at______________________________, but I'm not so good at ____________________________________, and sometimes I thinks it's really hard for me to __________________ ______________________.

I generally feel satisfied with ___________________________and get a lot of enjoyment from ____________________________________ _____________.

I feel generally dissatisfied with _______________________________ because I ______________________________________________, which makes me think/feel _________________________________ _______.

Overall, I feel ________________ with the amount of money I have and I feel _____________________ about my home. The possessions I enjoy the most are my _________________________________________ and the possessions I crave the most are ________________________ _____________________________________________________.

Overall, I feel __________________________ about my job. My favorite things about it are ________________________________________, and my least favorite things are ______________________________.

One of my most important relationships is my relationship with my _______ _________________________. Overall, I feel __________________ about this relationship. My favorite things about it are _______________ _________________________________, and my least favorite things are ___________________________________________________ _________________________________.

Another one of my most important relationships is my relationship with my _______________________________. Overall, I feel ____________ about this relationship. My favorite things about it are _______________ ______________________________________, and my least favorite things are _____________________________________________.

I sometimes feel hurt or angry about __________________________.

I sometimes feel sad or guilty about __________________________.

I sometimes feel inadequate or fearful about ____________________.

I would love to do less ____________________________________.

I would love to do more ___________________________________.

I would love to think/feel less ______________________________.

I would love to think/feel more ______________________________.

I often feel my greatest gifts are ______________________________ ____________________________________________________.

I often feel most grateful for ________________________________ because _______________________________________________.

Right now, the top three things I'd like to work on first are: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________

Pit-Stop

Now acknowledge yourself immediately for completing the above task. You have been sincere, brave and truthful in this moment. You are choosing to trust the process. Take a moment to:

1) Write one acknowledgement statement to yourself.

2) Write one encouragement statement to yourself.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Claim Your Lifeby Boni Oian Emily Sanderson Copyright © 2011 by Boni Oian, CH, CART/C & Emily Sanderson, MA, LPC. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.