Breaking & Mending: Divorce & God's Grace
Language: English
Published by Upper Room, 1999
- Softcover
- Used
Seller: World of Books (was SecondSale), Montgomery, IL, U.S.A.World of Books (was SecondSale)
AbeBooks seller since December 20, 2007
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- Title
- Breaking & Mending: Divorce & God's Grace
- Author
- Redding, Mary Lou
- Publisher
- Upper Room
- Publication year
- 1999
- Condition
- Good
- Binding
- Soft cover
- Language
- English
- ISBN 10
- 0835808556
- ISBN 13
- 9780835808552
"Synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.
From the Author
Getting a divorce was the most self-loving, life-affirming, and healthy act I have ever committed -- but the people I cared about and respected most did not agree with me about that. My struggle to reconcile those two realities led, eventually, to my writing Breaking and Mending. The journey has been worthwhile, for along the way I found a new understanding of God's grace, an understanding that has changed the way I look at myself and the world.
I found out very quickly after I divorced that most Christian people thought it was okay to be divorced only if I were miserable about it. And I was not miserable about it. My divorce came after a long, painful struggle in a destructive marriage, and getting away from the unrelenting anguish was a profound relief. That does not mean that life was always rosy (anyone who says that will probably lie about other things), but I was at least facing life honestly. I had not been doing that. For years I had been praying for help in private and pretending in public that things were okay -- because the church wasn't comfortable with anyone doing otherwise.
One of the sad realities of being both Christian and in a bad marriage is that many people see those two as mutually exclusive. Good Christians don't have bad marriages. Because I had absorbed that idea, admitting the reality of my situation was tantamount to saying that I must not really be a good Christian. If I were, my marriage would be salvageable. But I finally had to admit to myself that I could not make my marriage work and that I could no longer bear the pain and loneliness. I had to admit that the dream I had had for my life was never going to come true. I felt like a failure.
My faith is central to my identity. When I found myself with no choice but to do something that my faith said was wrong, I found myself in crisis. My images of God and my ideas of how God interacts with us were challenged. This book is my attempt to examine the struggles that I faced as I tried to build an identity based not on relationships with people but on honest and open relationship with God. Trying to find answers and help, I read a lot of Christian books about divorce. Most of the personal experience books I read (all but one, actually) were accounts of how a Christian struggled through a divorce, learned some lessons, and got remarried to a wonderful Christian. That constituted "getting over" divorce. But in time I came to feel not just relieved but happily divorced and content with my life. Getting remarried did not appeal to me, and I made a new place for myself in the church. That made me, apparently, an anomaly. Weird.
Years after my divorce, I live still single, a happy, fulfilled person with worthwhile and nurturing relationships. I experience intimacy with God through a life of prayer and service, and I have discovered that God willingly uses imperfect people like me. If we offer them, God uses even our bad decisions and destructive relationships to teach us what it means to find completeness and fullness of life in Christ. That's what my book is about.
I don't pull any punches. I wanted to give an honest picture of what is has been like for me. That means I talk about sexual predators and about the struggle to find a place in a church that seems geared to deal with traditional families. It means I write about issues of doubt and questioning, grief and depression. There are things in this book that I'd really prefer people not know about me -- but not to include them would give only a partial picture of the struggles related to divorce. I am a real person, warts and all, and I want other real people to know that we are not alone as we face life. Even when we feel like failures, God is with us. God is working within us and reaching out to us, offering life.
"About the title" may belong to another edition of this title.
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