Inspired by the Navajo tradition's 'Beauty Way', this book acts as an exposition on various vital aspects of life, as well as how to uncover and create true beauty within them all. Author Lori Myles-Carullo struggled with chronic illness for many years and, through the depth of her own healing journey, developed a passion for sharing the wisdom she gained in the process. The essence of beauty explored here is neither about personal appearance nor image, but rather the rich, lived experience of the heart awakening to love and letting go of fear. Each one of us has a great capacity for radical honesty, courage, and transformation-and often life provides us with exactly what we need to draw these forth in dramatic and powerful ways. Whether our wake-up calls occur through loss, transition, illness, or relationship struggles, we all have the choice to either contract or expand through our experiences, creating therefore less or more beauty in our lives and the lives of others. Beauty's Way gifts you with practical suggestions, through personal story and anecdote, of how to bring more beauty to your existence and to the greater whole. Each chapter ends with specific exercises that will assist you in gaining greater awareness into key parts of life-some naturally thought of as 'good', such as love and joy, as well as other, more challenging ones that we often do our best to distract ourselves from due to fear, including pain and grief. By offering our heartfelt compassion and love to it all, a greater realization and manifestation of healing beauty is forever possible.
Beauty's Way
Inspiration on the Path of AwakeningBy Lori Myles-CarulloBalboa Press
Copyright © 2011 Lori Myles-Carullo
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4525-3717-7Contents
Preface: The Beginning before Beginning........................1Chapter 1 The Beauty of Awakening..............................17Chapter 2 The Beauty Of Joy....................................27Chapter 3 The Beauty Of Change.................................35Chapter 4 The Beauty of Love...................................47Chapter 5 The Beauty of Friendship.............................65Chapter 6 The Beauty of Freedom................................75Chapter 7 The Beauty of Pain...................................87Chapter 8 The Beauty of Fear...................................97Chapter 9 The Beauty of Gratitude..............................109Chapter 10 The Beauty of Grief.................................119Chapter 11 The Beauty Of Forgiveness...........................135Chapter 12 The Beauty of Peace.................................149Afterword: A New Beginning.....................................165Acknowledgments................................................169
Chapter One
The Beauty of Awakening
"And the day came when the risk of remaining tight in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
"God has never been missed. Maybe you have forgotten, that's all. Maybe you have fallen asleep, that's all." Osho
"May our heart's garden of awakening bloom with hundreds of flowers." Thich Nhat Hanh
Waking up to truth
Before exploring the many exquisite facets of our awakening, we must first acknowledge where we have been chronically fast asleep—and I don't mean the kind of sleep we all need in order to regenerate and recharge on a nightly basis. We have become dull sleepwalkers in our collective and personal ignorance of certain key truths, without which we are destined to remain in a state of sadness, loss, despair, craving, and on the whole, suffering. Such a state is gray, cold, lifeless, heavy, and energetically dense. Awakening is all about returning to our natural state of love and joy and following a path that forever puts us back on the perennial course of love when we detour into fear's dead-ends.
While walking early one morning along a mountainous road in north central Costa Rica, I was surrounded by lush green hills and cows pondering the abundance of a new day's grass. A light, refreshing rain began washing over me. By the side of the road, were many weeds and dusty plants, thirsting for wetness to soak in and nourish them in their low-to-the-ground lives. In the midst of the weeds, I found, to my delight, a beautiful little pink wildflower, brimming with the simple ecstasy of existence. She was so small that I had to kneel down in order to get a better look at her, and I was awed by how such a tiny part of existence could be so intricate in beauty. I observed the various shades and hues of pink at her bubble-like core, a hundred fragile tendrils making their way up to bright yellow nodules at the tip of each one. This little flower was clearly an exquisite gift of life, beautiful simply for beauty's sake, growing from the weeds and what seemed to be insignificant plant life on the side of the road. What a perfect metaphor for awakening.
This gorgeous little sparkle of life speaks brilliantly to how each of us has the capacity to transform through the grimy muck of our human lives, extracting exactly what is needed from the dust and ashes in order to arrive at our vibrant blossoming beyond the surface. Each of us is called by name to become the unique and precious flower of creation that radiates our true essence. If we are open enough to see things as they truly are, we find that we are often longing for that which we already possess. The Buddha found nirvana in his own way—under the bodhi tree, after years of extreme seeking for some sort of inner peace and freedom in the midst of the pain of human existence. He was gracious enough to dedicate the rest of his time on this earth to teaching the awakened practice of liberation in mind, body, and spirit from the suffering that inevitably comes from mental and emotional patterns based in fear and ignorance. Jesus, too, knew the truth of love that would set us free; and it was to this end that he taught, healed, prayed, and lived his life in a way that would forever remind humanity that life and love are far more powerful than death and fear. Amma, a modern saint of a woman, is hugging people into awakening on a daily basis. She is an inspiration to us all, proving that the loving power of the heart is truly what is needed in order to offset the tragic direction in which our world has been heading, blinded and paralyzed by fear.
Awakening is a pervasive, archetypal leitmotif that runs through a variety of spiritual and psychological traditions. There is an undeniable, collective yearning for a peace and happiness that transcends what we know and experience in the messy drama of everyday life. For the most part, we seek to escape the pain of our realities through addictions and obsessions that lead us farther away from our ultimate goal of peace. What originally promises to offer us everything we could ever want or need in order to save us from pain, ends up causing even more suffering and does nothing to heal the original wound. Ah, the bittersweet symphony of life here on earth. At the end of the day, many of us are often left with a lingering sense of emptiness and futility. As things go from bad to worse, we often give voice to the slightest glimmer of a hopeful thought:
"There must be another way." "There is," Life whispers. "There must be a better way." "There is," Life sings.
And finally, we are brought humbly to our knees, and we stay there long enough to genuinely pray to a Higher Power, a Greater Force, a Spirit that hears and answers us as we find that we are willing to do whatever it takes to change our lives:
"God, please show me the way."
And she will ...
Awakenings
Certain films come to mind as I consider the pop-culture images of awakening, each with its own impact. The first film is Thelma & Louise, in which two women find themselves together on the run, rebelling against all that has caused them pain and suffering, fighting for their lives in both subtle and not-so-subtle ways. And men—please stay with me here—I know there can be a tendency for the male population to cross themselves and run the other way when they hear those two names; but the lesson is the same for us all, regardless of gender. The deep wounds of these two women—one stemming from a haunting past rape, and the other from a recent abusive relationship—lead them to go to extremes in order to taste freedom. It is, however, a radical and short-lived liberation, as their wild spirits lead them to courageously choose death over certain imprisonment.
The one scene from this movie that stands out starkly in my memory involves Thelma and Louise on the run, driving in their sleek convertible across the hot desert roads of the southern states. With little sleep and a high level of alcohol coursing through her veins, Thelma exclaims triumphantly, "I'm awake, Louise! I don't remember when I've ever been so awake." She is free from the chains of her abusive husband, and she is traveling an uncharted course that fills her with the ecstatic drunkenness of possibility. She is free from the old version of herself that kept her stuck in a torturous life she despised, yet endured, for the majority of her adult life. She is free to explore her sexuality in a new way that leaves her smiling from ear to ear with the knowingness of a woman in touch with her deepest hungers and longings. Despite the tragedy of how things end up for these two women, Thelma claims her moment of absolute freedom; and this is her personal, exuberant tale of radical awakening. Even if for just that moment, she knows that she deserves far more than what she had been accepting from life; that is enough to convince her that there is no going back.
A second gem of a movie that tells the story of a woman's journey of awakening is Sirens, starring Hugh Grant and Elle MacPherson. Grant plays a youthful Anglican priest traveling with his wife, Estelle, deep in the Australian outback. His theologically authorized mission is to attempt to redeem a local artist whose erotically charged and politically controversial paintings are deemed both vile and heretical by the Anglican Church. The young couple encounters their own sexual desires and demons as they are faced with the artist's radical views and lifestyle. Estelle is reluctantly yet alluringly befriended by the beautiful women who model for the artist. She curiously finds herself longing to be one of them rather than standing in cold judgment from the outside.
Estelle also experiences a surprisingly passionate attraction to the supposedly blind stable hand, which leads to a welling up of her natural feminine desires and challenges her rigid, externally imposed code of sexual morality. At the conclusion of the movie, there is an exquisite, sensual scene in which Estelle lies vulnerably still in a secluded pond, surrounded by the nymph-like women who are gently and tenderly caressing her naked body. It is a dreamy, mystical awakening that ushers in her rebirth—a seductive baptism into more of who she really is. The only sound that is heard above the rhythmic rush of water is her deep, soulful cry: "I want to wake up now." She is awake.
The gift of waking up
I feel like I've been dancing the dance of awakening for a long time, and this dance contains many steps, many rhythms, many variations. My awakening process is far from over, and I give thanks because it is such a fascinating journey. Many years ago when I lived nestled in the mountains of Whistler, British Columbia, I experienced many random, spontaneous moments of feeling as if I had been granted a precious treasure that I couldn't explain in words. This feeling seemed more real than anything I had ever experienced—a visceral, highly conscious sense of the truth beyond all illusions. The bliss of those tiny yet hugely satisfying tastes of awakening made it tough to come back to a regular life of working, serving customers, and balancing out the cash flow at the beginning and end of my retail shifts. At times I found it challenging to integrate the two worlds—the secular and the divine—and yet there was no way I could deny either one its reality in my day-to-day existence. I had my moments of ecstasy and epiphany and my daily routine of work and play, all merging in unique combinations and flowing into one interesting and amazing way of being.
When I moved to Western Canada for the first time at age twenty-one, I was experiencing a great deal of pain and sorrow due to the recent divorce of my parents and the resulting sting of emotional fallout. The precious spiritual times of deep letting go of all that was bringing me down—anger, resentment, sorrow, loss, and heartache—opened up space in my core for the pure, limitless sense of the loving power of creation to step up and take control again. My inner sense of the deep, loving interconnectedness of all living things was the most beautiful gift I could have received from the universe to remind me that the face of God was still a happy one.
Unlike many ski and snowboard enthusiasts living in Whistler at the time, I was not under the influence of any psychotropic substances (unless you count truly loving life as a drug!). Drops of awakening would graciously fall upon me and my unsuspecting consciousness without any warning or pattern. I received precious moments of awakening with gratitude and dwelled in them with a sense of delighted curiosity. Naturally, I always looked forward to when the next sweet drop of bliss might fall and land in every cell of my receptive being. Maybe I was getting "second-hand high" from all the marijuana being smoked around me, but I think it was God's grace at work. I was "first-hand high" in a natural and unadulterated way.
And what did I do with this sense of awakening to the truth of existence as love itself? I certainly couldn't keep it to myself or it would have been a crying shame. I also am not the type to preach at full voice on street corners or try to lure people into an experience that is deeply personal, divinely intimate, and lusciously mysterious to me. So, I just breathed, walked, ate, skied, slept, danced, worked, and smiled. I took that deep peace and solid inner confidence with me through my days and nights, and simply shined. At that time, I had the luck and the pleasure of working in one of the most popular and trendy nightclubs in Whistler village, which had just reopened after extensive renovations. I walked into work every night and radiated this awakened love to the staff members and any and all patrons I came across.
It was no secret that I was a bit of an anomaly to the other cocktail waitresses and bartenders. I hardly drank so I didn't do as well as the others most nights in terms of tips because I wouldn't get drunk with the customers. (What? A `shooter' girl who doesn't do shots with her paying customers?! Is this possible?) Yet I was told time and time again by friends and strangers that my light was a curious and welcome blessing in that place. And why not? As Marianne Williamson stated in A Return to Love, we bring ourselves as ministers of God to wherever we are and however we are of service. So at that time, the bar was my church. The community changed every night, but my heart and soul remained consistently luminous and ready to share. We all contain the same divine spark; by sharing the beauty of love and light, each in our own unique ways, we are adding to the flame of awakening that burns bright all over the world.
We must practice living awakened lives, expressing ourselves and finding the energy fuelling us from within to truly live before life passes us by and we realize that we allowed fear to keep us stuck in our unconscious, ignorant, and limited dream-state. More and more people these days are seeking mentors and life coaches, attending seminars and workshops, and reading self-help books and listening to inspirational tapes and CDs to try to uncover passion and purpose in life and to gain the support and encouragement to actually live it. This is good and beautiful because, if we don't, what are we doing on this planet other than exchanging oxygen and carbon dioxide until our last breath? What are we doing for ourselves and for future generations if we don't wake up to the truth that love is the only thing that is truly real in this life, and that it is high time we stop putting so much energy into fear? Why wait until you are on your deathbed to realize that what really mattered most in this life was the love given and received? We are wasting precious time and energy in which we could be savouring the sweetness of life rather than complaining about its bitterness.
Awakening's call: a dream
Many years ago, life woke me up from my living dream of intense pain through a night dream that inspired great hope. At the time, I was struggling with a highly sensitive body due to the years of parasites and CFS, and I had developed an eating disorder that was based in fear and control. I was in pretty rough shape and in dire need of some divine intervention to save me from myself. Deeply afraid of life and becoming smaller and smaller in body and consciousness, I sensed awakening as something a long way away. Some part of me knew that the pain I was in and the unrelenting feeling of being imprisoned, locked away from health and vitality, were not going to hold me back forever. The very powerful dream I was graced with awakened me into my next steps toward healing. I was struggling with my dietary issues, unable to digest much of anything and afraid that everything would hurt me. The list of items that were "safe" for me to eat had gotten smaller and smaller with each passing day. I was five foot six inches and had just plummeted below one hundred pounds. My ribs ached in the morning from rubbing up against the bed beneath me. That was not the dream part; that was my nightmarish reality.
Then came awakening's call: my dream. I was in a taxi with an older man and I couldn't breathe, so I asked him to take me to the hospital. Instead, he took me to a church. I was perplexed, but I trusted him. He carried me into the sacred building on his shoulders. A goddess-like female minister was standing at the front of the church by the altar, and as the man began walking down the aisle between the pews, she held up her hand as if to say with a stern yet loving command, "Stop right there." She began to speak to us, and I remember listening very closely both to her wise words and to the tender tone of her angelic voice. Her first request was intended for him, and it included an admonition to put me down so that I could stand on my own two feet.
Once I was standing on solid ground, it was my turn. She gave me three distinct messages of guidance. She looked deeply into my eyes and directly into my soul and said, "First, you need to breathe. Next, you need to eat. And finally, you need to commune." That was it. I awoke with a sense of clarity and hope that before seemed lost. Very soon after that, I got a job at an oxygen bar serving medical-grade oxygen to health-striving customers and receiving more oxygen into my lungs and cells by taking my daily "hit." I slowly began to eat more nourishing foods and found myself able to digest with greater capacity the fruits of Mother Earth. And gently, over time, I felt myself coming back to the land of the living. I was blessed to find a new sense of community with my fellow brothers and sisters in a way that had been lacking during my time of isolation and illness. She was right, that goddess-priestess of my dreams. Plus, she had it all in the perfect order.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Beauty's Wayby Lori Myles-Carullo Copyright © 2011 by Lori Myles-Carullo. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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