Attached at the Heart: Eight Principles for Raising Connected and Compassionate Children

"Barbara Nicholson and Lysa Parker are seminal voices in the planetary conversation about how to create secure, enduring and healthy bonds with our children. Bonds that can last an entire lifetime.”

—Alanis Morissette, Grammy-award winning artist

"This book deserves a permanent place on our shelves and in our hearts. For the good of children and families everywhere, thank goodness for Attached At The Heart."

—Mayim Bialik, Ph.D. Neuroscientist, Author, Actress (Blossom, Big Bang Theory, Call Me Kat), Jeopardy! Host

• Research in Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and Positive Childhood Experiences (PCEs) have changed the way we understand the impact of our life experiences. We know there is a lifelong correlation between our physical and psychological health from adverse experiences before the age of eighteen. What is new is our understanding that positive childhood experiences and other relational buffers in a child's life can help mitigate ACEs.

• Emotional regulation of the baby’s intense emotions is only possible if the parents are emotionally self-aware and are then able to identify their need for self-regulation first. This book offers trauma informed strategies to help parents regulate their own emotions such as “Heart-focused Breathing” and other calming techniques.

• The microbiome of an infant’s gut is determined by the way a baby is born and that can determine the child’s lifelong health. Vaginal birth is the primary way that the baby receives gut bacteria from the mother, providing a powerful head start for their immune system. Breastfeeding and skin-to-skin holding are additional ways of “seeding and feeding” the bacteria in the gut known as the microbiome.

• “Breastsleeping” is a new term coined by infant sleep researchers Dr. James McKenna and Dr. Helen Ball to describe the unique protective relationship between a breastfeeding mother and her baby during sleep.

• One of the biggest challenges for parents is infant sleep. In their attempt to find solutions, parents are often confused by the terms sleep training versus sleep education. Attached at the Heart defines the two different approaches. Sleep training is behavioristic in its approach and can involve the baby crying-it-out while ignoring the infant’s emotional or physical need for nurturance at night. Sleep education on the other hand takes a more developmental approach by helping parents understand infant sleep architecture and sleep patterns.

• More guidance and strategies have been included for working parents to help keep the attachment strong in spite of separations. The book includes ways to facilitate loving transitions to other caregivers. The term “alloparent” is defined as a caregiver in a child’s life who can be a family member or someone who becomes like a family member.

• Epigenetics is the study of the powerful influences that nature, nurture and environment have on our DNA. Our DNA is not our destiny but what we eat, the environment in which we are born and other lifelong experiences all impact the expression of our genes for generations to come. The good news is that it is also reversable!

• Children and adults are suffering from what is called “Nature Deficit Disorder” Exposing our children and encouraging them to play out in nature, whether in the backyard, a park, or in the woods, is of vital importance for healthy development and positive mental health.