“Good day. My name is Jeremiah Arbuthnott Pygott. I co-own, with my esteemed colleague and friend, Mr. Jedidiah Haggard Winklefry Crone, not only this phone number, but also the shop attached to it. The Third Left Tentacle has been trading for longer than you can remember. Left to me originally as a third-rate brothel, filled with hairy whores, by my Great Uncle Xerxes, who was forced to give up the noble trade when even his steadfast spare parts began to wither. I initially tried to continue in his footsteps, succeeding for some years, but not only did I find it tedious sweeping up endless swathes of tart hair every day, it became obvious that the customers were spending more time waiting in the parlour, reading volumes from my extendible library – what with the spare copies fitting nicely inside the iniquitous den - than tramping upstairs to do the horizontal fandango with the attendant shag-piles. And the legendary Mrs. Wilton.
“Upon a chance meeting with a young, enthusiastic, scatter-brained bookseller in need of relief, I put it to him, on more than one occasion, that we ought to consider forming a partnership. Eventually, we spat, shook hands and entered the book trade. The remaining prostitutes turned out to be excellent shelf-stockers and grateful of the chance to remain upright at work for the first time. The new dress code – actual clothing – meant I could scale down hair-bundling duties to only a single weekly stint!
“Unfortunately, we no longer do extras (unless of course, you get particularly friendly with our Penisian scrying expert), but you can be assured of finding the largest range of occult, esoteric, mystical, barking, dangerous, brain-scarring and gelastic books in the known universes. And yes, of course we stock the 'Harry Potter' books. Our service is second to none, though admittedly, less stimulating now our last surviving Madame is beyond pyramid age and no longer even required to look at our books, let alone pick them up and foist them on our customers.
“Neither myself nor Mr. Crone is able to reach the phone at the moment, but if you’d care to leave a message, please don’t bother, as anyone still listening to this monologue is either very sad, lonely and desperate to hear the sound of anyone’s voice – which is your cue to hang up – or urgently requires our services and is praying that we really are listening and might just pick up if you shout your message really loud. This answerphone exists only as excuse not to take calls anyway, as the phone is an instrument of the Devil and shouldn’t be used by anyone. Even this message was recorded for us by a fiendishly convincing mimic, leaving me unsullied by the evil that infests those dancing light beams and crackling copper wires.
“When we're open, we have a particularly noxious ghoul who actually enjoys using this infernal machine and will be overjoyed if you ring during our hours of business, which is something those who aren’t too insane or lazy to get off their arses and come to the shop itself will already know.
“Opening hours are clearly displayed on the door. We have a multitude of security devices to ensure your safety whilst on the premises. Though we accept no liability for loss or damage to limbs, heads, sanity, pets or property.
“We do not have a website!!!
“Thankyou for calling and if you’re still there, please go away!”

Pygott & Crone have sold a copy of the fabled, mythical Necronomicon to a trustworthy, regular customer, Satan. But bizarre portents indicate He may have found a method of reading Abdul Alhazred's insanity inducing text, thus initiating the return of the Elder Gods, the destruction of humanity and possibly reality as we know it. Gulp!
They decide on even more foolhardy action: sneak into one of Hell's 7 Earthly portals, break into Lucifer's inner sanctum and steal back the book...that shouldn't be too hard?

"Synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.

PBShop.store UK

Fairford, GLOS, United Kingdom

5-star seller

AbeBooks seller since June 11, 1999

Shipping rates from United Kingdom to U.S.A.

Item	10 to 20 business days	10 to 20 business days
First item	£ 4.16	£ 4.16

Delivery times are set by sellers and vary by carrier and location. Orders passing through Customs may face delays and buyers are responsible for any associated duties or fees. Sellers may contact you regarding additional charges to cover any increased costs to ship your items.

Payment methods

Store description

**Please note our transit times are from the date of dispatch.** We first started out as “The Paperback Exchange,” a chain of physical bookstores where we would part exchange your beloved books for new stories to transport you to faraway places. However, as shopping started to evolve to online shops and marketplaces, we bid our stores goodbye to become “PBShop.” This transition has only allowed us to blossom as we now ship thousands of titles to book lovers across the globe. We pride ourselves in being a community of local book lovers which allows our passion and devotion to shine in everything we do. In 2020 we not only celebrated our 20th birthday but our 1st birthday as being completely employee owned after becoming an E.O.T in September 2019. We are proud to be different and embrace standing apart on a book mountain by working from a virtual inventory which allows us to provide thousands of books that may be difficult to get for your bookshelf or your studies. Working with a number of different suppliers allows us to explore other avenues such as puzzles, sheet music and even stationery so we really do have something for everyone. Life is about being versatile in all realms of existence. If this is your first purchase with us, or you are a returning customer, we would like to welcome you to the PBShop family, for there is no friend as loyal as a book. We are a company who put our customers at the centre of everything we do as we understand the importance of reading because once you learn to read, you will forever be free. There are a whole lot of things in this world of ours that we are yet to explore, which is why we will forever inspire curious minds.…

Specialty

Hardbacks, Paperbacks

Seller's business information

Pbshop.co.uk

Unit 22 Horcott Industrial Estate, Horcott Road
Fairford, United Kingdom GL7 4BX

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Terms of sale

Returns Policy
We ask all customers to contact us for authorisation should they wish to return their order. Orders returned without authorisation may not be credited.
If you wish to return, please contact us within 14 days of receiving your order to obtain authorisation.
Returns requested beyond this time will not be authorised.
Our team will provide full instructions on how to return your order and once received our returns department will process your refund.
Please note the cost to return any unwanted order to us is borne by the buyer.
Should your order arrive damaged, not as advertised or faulty, we must be advised of this within 14 days of delivery. Please contact us so we can find the best solution for you.

Our Customer Care Team can be contacted by emailing alborders@paperbackshop.co.uk, or by calling our UK Office on +441285 712 917. We are available 9:00am till 5:30pm GMT Monday to Friday.

Right of withdrawal

If you are a consumer you can withdraw from the contract in accordance with the following. Consumer means any natural person who is acting for purposes which are outside his trade, business, craft or profession.

Information regarding the right of withdrawal

Statutory right to withdraw

You have the right to withdraw from this contract within 14 days without giving any reason.

The withdrawal period will expire after 14 days from the day on which you acquire, or a third party other than the carrier and indicated by you acquires, physical possession of the last good or the last lot or piece.

To exercise the right of withdrawal, electronically fill in and submit a clear statement on our website, under "My Purchases" in "My Account". We will communicate to you an acknowledgement of receipt of such a withdrawal on a durable medium (e.g. by e-mail) without delay.

To meet the withdrawal deadline, it is sufficient for you to send your communication concerning your exercise of the right of withdrawal before the withdrawal period has expired.

Effects of withdrawal

If you withdraw from this contract, we will reimburse to you all payments received from you, including the costs of delivery (except for the supplementary costs arising if you chose a type of delivery other than the least expensive type of standard delivery offered by us).

We may make a deduction from the reimbursement for loss in value of any goods supplied, if the loss is the result of unnecessary handling by you.

We will make the reimbursement without undue delay, and not later than 14 days after the day on which we are informed about your decision to withdraw from this contract.

We will make the reimbursement using the same means of payment as you used for the initial transaction, unless you have expressly agreed otherwise; in any event, you will not incur any fees as a result of such reimbursement.

We may withhold reimbursement until we have received the goods back, or you have supplied evidence of having sent back the goods, whichever is the earliest.

You shall send back the goods or hand them over to PBShop.store UK, Fairford, United Kingdom, +44 1285 712917, without undue delay and in any event not later than 14 days from the day on which you communicate your withdrawal from this contract to us. The deadline is met if you send back the goods before the period of 14 days has expired. You will have to bear the direct cost of returning the goods. You are only liable for any diminished value of the goods resulting from the handling other than what is necessary to establish the nature, characteristics and functioning of the goods.

Exceptions to the right of withdrawal

The right of withdrawal does not apply to:

The delivery of newspapers, journals or magazines with the exception of subscription contracts; and
The supply of digital content which is not supplied on a tangible medium (e.g. on a CD or DVD) if you accepted when you placed your order that we could start to deliver it, and that you could not withdraw once delivery had started.

Shipping terms

Orders are shipped from our UK warehouse. Delivery thereafter is between 4 and 14 business days. Please contact us if you have any queries about our services or products.

Adventures of Pygott and Crone The Policy of No Returns

Item description from seller

Bibliographic details

Synopsis