The Adventures of Pygott & Crone The Policy of No Returns
Language: English
Published by Independently Published Aug 2021, 2021
- Softcover
- New
Seller: AHA-BUCH GmbH, Einbeck, GermanyAHA-BUCH GmbH
AbeBooks seller since August 14, 2006
Condition: New
£ 20.38
Quantity: 2 available
Add to basketItem description from seller
Neuware.
Seller Inventory # 9798466053746
- Title
- The Adventures of Pygott & Crone The Policy of No Returns
- Author
- Joz Rhodes
- Publisher
- Independently Published Aug 2021
- Publication year
- 2021
- Condition
- Neu
- Binding
- Taschenbuch
- Language
- English
- ISBN 13
- 9798466053746
- Illustrator
- Joz, Unkle
- Item weight
- 281 grams
- Dimensions
- 229x152x11 mm
“Good day. My name is Jeremiah Arbuthnott Pygott. I co-own, with my esteemed colleague and friend, Mr. Jedidiah Haggard Winklefry Crone, not only this phone number, but also the shop attached to it. The Third Left Tentacle has been trading for longer than you can remember. Left to me originally as a third-rate brothel, filled with hairy whores, by my Great Uncle Xerxes, who was forced to give up the noble trade when even his steadfast spare parts began to wither. I initially tried to continue in his footsteps, succeeding for some years, but not only did I find it tedious sweeping up endless swathes of tart hair every day, it became obvious that the customers were spending more time waiting in the parlour, reading volumes from my extendible library – what with the spare copies fitting nicely inside the iniquitous den - than tramping upstairs to do the horizontal fandango with the attendant shag-piles. And the legendary Mrs. Wilton.
“Upon a chance meeting with a young, enthusiastic, scatter-brained bookseller in need of relief, I put it to him, on more than one occasion, that we ought to consider forming a partnership. Eventually, we spat, shook hands and entered the book trade. The remaining prostitutes turned out to be excellent shelf-stockers and grateful of the chance to remain upright at work for the first time. The new dress code – actual clothing – meant I could scale down hair-bundling duties to only a single weekly stint!
“Unfortunately, we no longer do extras (unless of course, you get particularly friendly with our Penisian scrying expert), but you can be assured of finding the largest range of occult, esoteric, mystical, barking, dangerous, brain-scarring and gelastic books in the known universes. And yes, of course we stock the 'Harry Potter' books. Our service is second to none, though admittedly, less stimulating now our last surviving Madame is beyond pyramid age and no longer even required to look at our books, let alone pick them up and foist them on our customers.
“Neither myself nor Mr. Crone is able to reach the phone at the moment, but if you’d care to leave a message, please don’t bother, as anyone still listening to this monologue is either very sad, lonely and desperate to hear the sound of anyone’s voice – which is your cue to hang up – or urgently requires our services and is praying that we really are listening and might just pick up if you shout your message really loud. This answerphone exists only as excuse not to take calls anyway, as the phone is an instrument of the Devil and shouldn’t be used by anyone. Even this message was recorded for us by a fiendishly convincing mimic, leaving me unsullied by the evil that infests those dancing light beams and crackling copper wires.
“When we're open, we have a particularly noxious ghoul who actually enjoys using this infernal machine and will be overjoyed if you ring during our hours of business, which is something those who aren’t too insane or lazy to get off their arses and come to the shop itself will already know.
“Opening hours are clearly displayed on the door. We have a multitude of security devices to ensure your safety whilst on the premises. Though we accept no liability for loss or damage to limbs, heads, sanity, pets or property.
“We do not have a website!!!
“Thankyou for calling and if you’re still there, please go away!”
Pygott & Crone have sold a copy of the fabled, mythical Necronomicon to a trustworthy, regular customer, Satan. But bizarre portents indicate He may have found a method of reading Abdul Alhazred's insanity inducing text, thus initiating the return of the Elder Gods, the destruction of humanity and possibly reality as we know it. Gulp!
They decide on even more foolhardy action: sneak into one of Hell's 7 Earthly portals, break into Lucifer's inner sanctum and steal back the book...that shouldn't be too hard?
"Synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.
Shipping rates from Germany to U.S.A.
| Item | 7 to 10 business days | 5 to 7 business days |
|---|---|---|
| First item | £ 29.26 | £ 37.61 |
Payment methods
- Bank Wire Transfer
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Store description
Das Unternehmen AHA-BUCH GmbH: Seit der Gründung von AHA-BUCH im Juli 2005 ist unser Hauptziel, zufriedenen Kunden so schnell und so preisgünstig wie möglich ihren Bücherwunsch zu erfüllen. Unsere Firma beschäftigt 16 Mitarbeiter, die nur ein Ziel kennen: den Kunden und seine Wünsche! Auf über 3700 m2 Fläche haben wir über 100.000 Bücher, Modernes Antiquariat und Spiele auf Lager.
Specialty
Kinderbücher & Kinderhör Casetten, German Books, Software, Natur & Tiere, Ratgeber, Sachbücher, Englische Bücher, Medizin & Gesundheit, Universität & StudiumSeller's business information
AHA-BUCH GmbH
Garlebsen 48
Einbeck, Germany 37574
Terms of sale
Imprint
Seller Info:
AHA-BUCH GmbH
represented by the managing director Christel Glass
Garlebsen 48
37574 Einbeck
Deutschland
Telefon: 055639996039
Telefax: 055639995974
E-Mail: abebooks@aha-buch.de
USt-IdNr.: DE261904229
registered at Commercial register Amtsgerichtes Göttingen
Handelsregisternummer HRB 200691
Alternative dispute resolution:
The European Commission provides a platform for out-of-court online dispute resolution (ODR platform), which can be accessed under https://ec.europa.eu/odr.
We have been a member of the "FairCommerce" initiative since 25.05.2018.
For more information, see www.fair-commerce.de.
Right of withdrawal
If you are a consumer you can withdraw from the contract in accordance with the following. Consumer means any natural person who is acting for purposes which are outside his trade, business, craft or profession.
Information regarding the right of withdrawal
Statutory right to withdraw
You have the right to withdraw from this contract within 14 days without giving any reason.
The withdrawal period will expire after 14 days from the day on which you acquire, or a third party other than the carrier and indicated by you acquires, physical possession of the last good or the last lot or piece.
To exercise the right of withdrawal, electronically fill in and submit a clear statement on our website, under "My Purchases" in "My Account". We will communicate to you an acknowledgement of receipt of such a withdrawal on a durable medium (e.g. by e-mail) without delay.
To meet the withdrawal deadline, it is sufficient for you to send your communication concerning your exercise of the right of withdrawal before the withdrawal period has expired.
Effects of withdrawal
If you withdraw from this contract, we will reimburse to you all payments received from you, including the costs of delivery (except for the supplementary costs arising if you chose a type of delivery other than the least expensive type of standard delivery offered by us).
We may make a deduction from the reimbursement for loss in value of any goods supplied, if the loss is the result of unnecessary handling by you.
We will make the reimbursement without undue delay, and not later than 14 days after the day on which we are informed about your decision to withdraw from this contract.
We will make the reimbursement using the same means of payment as you used for the initial transaction, unless you have expressly agreed otherwise; in any event, you will not incur any fees as a result of such reimbursement.
We may withhold reimbursement until we have received the goods back, or you have supplied evidence of having sent back the goods, whichever is the earliest.
You shall send back the goods or hand them over to AHA-BUCH GmbH, Einbeck, Germany, without undue delay and in any event not later than 14 days from the day on which you communicate your withdrawal from this contract to us. The deadline is met if you send back the goods before the period of 14 days has expired. You will have to bear the direct cost of returning the goods. You are only liable for any diminished value of the goods resulting from the handling other than what is necessary to establish the nature, characteristics and functioning of the goods.
Exceptions to the right of withdrawal
The right of withdrawal does not apply to:
- The delivery of newspapers, journals or magazines with the exception of subscription contracts; and
- The supply of digital content which is not supplied on a tangible medium (e.g. on a CD or DVD) if you accepted when you placed your order that we could start to deliver it, and that you could not withdraw once delivery had started.
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We ship your order after we received them
for articles on hand latest 24 hours,
for articles with overnight supply latest 48 hours.
In case we need to order an article from our supplier our dispatch time depends on the reception date of the articles, but the articles will be shipped on the same day.
Our goal is to send the ordered articles in the fastest, but also most efficient and secure way to our customers.