Why do leaders sometimes avoid having important conversations, and when they do, why are some of those conversations simply...less effective than they could be? Is it a lack of confidence in knowing how to approach the many different types of conversations they have? Is it fear of conflict or consequence if the conversation gets off track? Is it just too difficult - too confusing amid so many frameworks - or does it simply take too much effort to get it right? The reality is, all of these are reasons why leaders avoid, or can be less effective, in their conversations, and in an ever-changing world there is more urgency now than ever before.

Leaders have so many conversations with their team members every day. If they are to get the most out of those conversations they must reflect and plan, so wouldn't all leaders appreciate a way to make things easier? Wouldn't it be great if we could be more efficient in preparing for conversational effectiveness?

We all have models, processes, and frameworks that we have studied and tried throughout our time as leaders. We tend to use what works for us, and there is value in most models out there. Yet, there is a fundamental truth that still exists. Before going into a conversation, we must take time to pause and think about all those models sitting in the wings, and only once we know "which type" of conversation we are about to have can we then choose the model or process or framework that we will follow. I don't know about you, but that reality sounds exhausting.

Wouldn't it be great - wouldn't it be a little less exhausting - if before each conversation rather than having to decide which among the many to pull forward based on the conversation at hand, instead we could have in our pocket a single process model that could be easily adapted broadly?

It can get both confusing and time consuming when you need to pause and figure out which type of conversation you are about to have...and then ponder, compare, decide, recall, and finally select the one you might follow for that specific type of conversation. It is for this reason that the conversation process model we have developed is so unique and effective. Its greatest strength comes from the fact that it is adaptive, meaning the simple step-by-step process can be used effectively, and consistently, being adapted for different types of conversations. It allows you to be present in the conversation, actively listen to the other person, and have an anchor to refer to by simply asking yourself, "at what step in the process is our conversation currently?"

While the conversation process model we have developed provides a single progression for effective conversations, it does not require that you forego your pre-existing philosophical frameworks, whose tenets you may have adhered to over time. It is not just a theoretical model. It reflects the practical conversation techniques we have used throughout our careers as consultants, team leaders, executives, and colleagues to lead organizations, foster inclusion, and drive change.

Our book is a deep dive into this conversation process model, and the workshop we bring to companies teaches leaders how to have effective conversations using this process - whether coaching, mentoring, performance, consulting, advising, teaching, training, change, etc.

Praise:

"So much more helpful than relying on different approaches to different conversations!"

"My active listening increased when I started using the Adaptive Conversation Process."

"The Adaptive Conversation Process helped me add consistency and intention to dialogue."

"This is now my #1 tool."

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About the Author

Nicholas is a seasoned learning, leadership, and organizational development professional, with measured success engaging collaboratively with employees and clients at all levels. Breaking into the L&D field in 1999, he collaborated to build a corporate university that found its place on Training Magazine's very first "Top 50 Learning Organizations" list. Partnering through authentic university and fraternity relationships, he led training and corporate communications in the construction industry before joining a boutique HR consulting firm where he executed diverse talent and organizational development initiatives, engaging with companies from 3 to 30,000 employees globally. Nicholas' corporate roles have included leadership from the front-line to the executive level, across industries such as global banking & finance, healthcare, manufacturing, and more. He has spearheaded top-level business initiatives, transformed the culture of leadership, built capacity and effectiveness, standardized internally and externally facing conversational effectiveness, built competency models, created emerging leader and succession programs, and led learning-focused high performance cultural transformations. He holds a Master of Education in adult learning and development, global credentials in coaching and change management, and certifications in several competency assessments including emotional intelligence and more. Over the years, he has served as a speaker at conferences and leadership summits and is a thought-leader in talent development, enterprise learning, organizational interventions and strategy, leadership development, and conversational effectiveness.

Suri Surinder is a seasoned executive with over 30 years of experience spanning leadership, diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives across various sectors. He is the co-founder and CEO of CTR Factor, a woman-owned, minority-owned advisory services firm specializing in leadership and DEI consulting. Under his leadership, CTR Factor has served hundreds of companies across dozens of different industries, including notable clients such as PwC, RSM, Crowe Horwath, Prudential, Pixar, Ingersoll Rand, PNC, & AICPA. Throughout his career, Surinder has held significant roles in the C-Suite leading multi-billion-dollar regions and spearheading global business transformations. His experience spans decades as an executive, consultant, board member, author, entrepreneur, and professor.In addition to his executive roles, Surinder is a prolific writer and speaker on topics related to leadership and workplace culture. His insights have garnered significant attention, with social-professional engagement amassing over 1.5 million global views across a following of more than 51,000 connections. Suri is also the author of The Hidden Science of CTR Factor Leadership: Book 1 - The Three Basic Questions, which delves into the scientific principles of effective leadership. He has a BS in Civil Engineering, MS in Structural Engineering, MBA in Marketing, and a DBA in Strategy.

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The Adaptive Conversation Process

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