Above the Fray The Awareness Project
Language: English
Published by Balboa Press, 2016
- Softcover
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- Title
- Above the Fray The Awareness Project
- Author
- Ashton MD, Owen Thomas
- Publisher
- Balboa Press
- Publication year
- 2016
- Condition
- New
- Binding
- PAP
- Language
- English
- ISBN 10
- 1504356136
- ISBN 13
- 9781504356138
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- 336 grams
"Synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Above the Fray
The Awareness Project
By Owen Thomas AshtonBalboa Press
All rights reserved.
Contents
Preface, ix,
Introduction, xi,
PART 1: THE REAL YOU, 1,
Chapter 1. Perfect Imperfections, 3,
Chapter 2. Changing Perspectives, 11,
Chapter 3. The Case for Ego, 31,
Chapter 4. Mind Power, 49,
PART 2: THE FOUR LEVELS OF AWARENESS, 81,
Chapter 5. The First Level of Awareness: Shame/Guilt/Fear/Pride, 83,
Chapter 6. The Second Level of Awareness: Courage/Acceptance/Reason, 93,
Chapter 7. The Third Level of Awareness: Love/Joy/Grace/Peace, 104,
Chapter 8. The Fourth Level of Awareness: Enlightenment, 118,
PART 3: NATURAL LAW, 131,
Chapter 9. The First Natural Law: Independent Thinking, 133,
Chapter 10. The Second Natural Law: The Healthy Body, 150,
Chapter 11. The Third Natural Law: Relationship, 170,
Chapter 12. Point of Decision, 185,
Random Summarizing Thoughts, 195,
The Natural Laws of Consciousness, 205,
Bibliography, 207,
About the Author, 209,
CHAPTER 1
Perfect Imperfections
Let's start with the day of your birth. As a first attempt to gather what that day must have been like, let's think about your life in the womb. In short, it was nine months of pure bliss and continued comfort. In this phase of your creation, you were still very much connected to the perfection that we all share. There was no reason for you to feel or know anything else.
But then on the day of your birth, all of that changed. Your ideal environment gave way to bright lights, noise, cold, pain, and hunger. This was certainly a jarring experience, but all of these terrifying and troubling new sensations were nothing compared to the notion that overshadowed them all: at the moment of your birth, you began to experience separation from Infinite Wisdom for the first time. No wonder you cried so much. This new human experience was entirely unpleasant.
So on that day of your birth, you began to experience separation. That very unpleasant feeling established the basis of your present state of being. If you were physically nurtured and sustained by caring parents, you survived and thrived in amazing ways. If you were abused or neglected, your separation anxiety multiplied as your perception of reality was ingrained into your subconscious mind.
Unfortunately, the picture did not get any better as you grew up. After just a few years of interaction with your new environment, you learned another perspective: believing that you are not perfect. You also learned that, no matter what you did, you could never get enough of anything. You learned the opposite of perfect contentment — that love is conditional.
All of us got to this state because our parents did what parents do: they domesticated us. Yes, they did their best. They taught us their values, language, and culture. They also ingrained their fears, doubts, religion, prejudices, and addictions into the core of our consciousness. (By the way, we will call this collection of entities/ emotions/conditions "detractors.")
With all of these detractors dragging us down over the years, by now most of us have become just like our parents in all their imperfections. And it doesn't stop there. Whether we have children now or intend to have children in the future, we will eventually become agents that help perpetuate the insanity. In our careers, families, business dealings, and relationships, we do and will perpetuate the insanity.
I do not mean to lay all the blame on our parents, of course. Our teachers did not teach us well. They taught that our intuition is not dependable. They taught that we must accept ideal standards of control in order to be safe and that we must behave in a certain way if we hope to earn a reward. At almost no point during our schooling and upbringing did they allow us to be intuitive and spontaneous. And we rarely experienced unconditional love. They did not actively teach us to put an end to conflict, struggle, and resistance. Rather, they taught us to believe in the illusions of competition that they themselves treasured as pure truth.
From the time we could first understand words and direction, parents and teachers innocently began their never-ending task of convincing us that we are not perfect. As early as the age of three, we had completely forgotten the bliss of our previous existence. We had already become one of the disconnected people of this "natural" world. We no longer could practice unconditional love, mostly because every attempt to do so was met with a stern, bleak lesson.
Later on in our lives, other teachers, siblings, and friends joined the chorus that would rob us of our perfection. Collectively, our teacher's and peer group's favorite word was no. Through this constant cacophony of things we were not supposed to do, we slowly learned that we were not perfect. With this realization, our core beliefs and self-image became twisted and deformed into an insane pattern of cultural conformity accompanied by the detractors. We learned to assume the role of son or daughter, student, friend, brother or sister, lover, spouse, and father or mother. And the consequence of these relationships is always dictated by love based on some condition.
The overarching lesson is "Everything is conditional. Every act of love comes with a price. And love means control." In other words, we slowly learned that "I love you" also means "I control you." Through this harsh lesson, we came to realize (incorrectly and inconsistently) that it is good to gain comfort and avoid pain (at any cost); to gain attention and escape being ignored; to gain approval and escape rejection; to gain importance and escape feeling inferior. These values were molded into our consciousness and continue even into adulthood to control our thoughts, actions, ambitions, and relationships. On the world stage, these erroneous values, now ingrained in our collective consciousness, have created all the chaos that exists on the planet.
The true self-destruction — the true exodus from perfection — begins when we start seeking validation for our position in respect to everything we learned from the people and culture that raised us. It does not matter who we are; eventually, there comes a time when we seek validation in everything we do. Through all the negativity that surrounds us, we find ourselves needing to know that we are acknowledged, respected, and heard, not marginalized or dismissed. When we check ourselves in the mirror each day, we validate that we are ready to face the world by comparing our appearance to the sum of a culturally constructed understanding of what looks "good" or "acceptable." When we ask an opinion of another, we are seeking not their answer but rather their validation. In these ways, we always seek personal validation from someone other than ourselves.
It is no secret why so many of us have become driven by this hollow kind of validation, for receiving acknowledgment and validation from others can be an incredible rush. It feels like genuine respect and always provides a sense of security and belonging. It keeps us from feeling worthless or dismissed as immature or even crazy. In the extreme, needing validation from external sources (culture) often results in fanatical belief systems with the potential to sustain conflict between individuals, groups, religions, and countries.
Now think about the contrary ethos. If we do not receive validation, we feel as if we are not respected or socially accepted. This makes us feel uncomfortable, defeated, and sometimes worthless. This discomfort is so motivating that it becomes the primary driver of our behaviors, attitudes, worldview, and, most of all, unhappiness. We might have been born perfect, but through our need for validation, we have become slaves and victims.
Over the years, we became all of these things based on negative lessons. We were no longer who we really are. Rather, we became a fabrication, a false persona. As we grew, the suggestions that formed this false persona stayed and grew with us, becoming quite powerful in the process. Our egocentric focus became the overwhelming force in our lives.
This ego-based perspective has created a species of humans divided by race, religion, culture, language, and values — a veritable hell on earth. We were taught all of these things and shaped in this egocentric way in an effort to keep us safe and happy (whatever that might mean in such a state). The result is a personality based on a false understanding of who we are and how we align with the rest of the world. We are not happy. We are stressed. We are overwhelmed. We are unfulfilled. We are afraid. Through our false personalities and inflated egos, we have not found happiness; rather, we have created a world of sustained chaos.
How did this all come to pass? Are not all human beings desirous of joy and perfection? Of course we are. We are simply operating from a fundamental misunderstanding of our role in the universe, and that misunderstanding stems from our collective mismanagement of our most tremendous (and dangerous) gift: self-awareness. In the known world, we are the only life form that is self-aware. And yet, curiously, all other life forms seem better adjusted to their world than we are. As long as they are nourished, find safety, and have the opportunity to reproduce, they are content with almost anything that goes on around them. Don't believe me? Just watch a cat for a while and try to imagine what goes on in that little mind. If it is not eating, cleaning itself, or chasing something (whether for a meal or just for the fun of it), it does nothing more than relax. How wonderful does that sound?
Before we continue, let's consider a little exercise. With your grand self-awareness, compare the life and concerns of a cat to what goes on in your mind. May I suggest that you are not as happy and content as that little cat? Why do you suppose that is?
Your first instinct will be to say that it is because you have more responsibilities or obligations. You have a job, mouths to feed, bills to pay, etc. But these things are all incidental when compared to your ultimate contentment. No, you are unhappy compared to the cat because you have been wounded every day of your life. Throughout your upbringing, negativity has dominated your sensory input. You fell into the human trap of believing all this negative stuff is the truth. You're self-talk — the thoughts in your mind based almost solely on a lifetime of learning what you cannot or should not do — now rules your days and nights. Even when you do not realize you are doing it, you are turning this negative self-talk (detractors) in your mind over and over, day after day. You know what the troubling part is? This negative self-talk stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of the universe. We have been taught our whole lives that we are imperfect and undeserving of contentment. Our whole lives we have believed a lie.
Just think about where all that negativity stems. It is all based on the belief system your family and peers have shaped for you since birth. It all comes from the environments we have created for ourselves. As a result, we spend countless hours each day just wounding ourselves with negative self-talk. And the worst part? All that negativity is based on falsehoods. Consider the top three falsehoods that plague us all each day:
1. We are not good enough.
2. We are separated from our creator and from one another.
3. We are not all equal.
Even on the surface, these falsehoods seem completely damaging. But consider what they do to our behavior as a result:
1. We fill our bodies with toxic chemicals.
2. We fail to achieve self-validation.
3. We remain sedentary, allowing our bodies to turn to mush.
4. We fail to understand and practice unconditional love.
5. We fail to learn natural law.
6. We fail to align ourselves with the higher order of nature.
All of this wounding derives from erroneous conditioning that we have accepted as truth. Thinking that our success, indeed our very survival, depends on this body of actual falsehood, we have squandered our happiness. We perpetuate that falsehood by unconsciously wounding our loved ones and ourselves day after day, month after month, year after year — and even though we have no one but ourselves to blame for the insanity of our existence, we place that blame on someone or something other than ourselves. We blame our bosses. We blame our government. We blame the crime in our neighborhood. We blame the media. We blame our parents. We blame our spouses. We blame fate for dealing us a bad hand. Every day, we face our negative perceptions, and every day, we place ourselves on the throne of the victim. Every day, we judge. Every day, knowingly or unknowingly, we teach the next generation the same chaotic worldview.
Fortunately, this manner of living runs completely contrary to the natural way we can choose to live. If we want to find truth, peace, and happiness, we need only become aware of the natural way. Once we achieve that awareness, we can finally relax and enjoy our journey in this life. Make no mistake; it is never too late to enjoy the journey. And in this awareness, we can perceive our journey up until now as the perfect motivation to change our perspectives. We can now consciously and by choice return to our natural state of harmony, joy, and peace. We can live above the fray.
Think about your life up to now. Would you say that it has been free of mistakes? Do you feel that there are people in your life who have wronged you? Do you feel that there is not one thing in your life that, if you could go back, you would do differently? How often do you think about these things?
Without even knowing it, you might think about them frequently. Sometimes we feel sorry for all the mistakes we have made. Sometimes we find ourselves in toxic relationships, boring jobs, poor health, and constant worry and conflict. But why should we feel this way? Soon you will appreciate that these discomforts serve a positive and definite purpose if you change your point of view. Soon you will appreciate that everything is perfect. There is, after all, no such thing as imperfection in this world. I am going to say this many times as we move along, but let me truly highlight it this first time:
Everything is perfect. You are exactly the way Infinite Wisdom intended you to be. There is nothing else you need to know.
Think about that for a moment. You are perfect. You are exactly the way Infinite Wisdom has made you. There is nothing else that could ever be true. If we can know this, we also know that there is no such thing as a mistake. No one has ever wronged you. There is nothing in your life that you should have done differently or could have done better. Everything you are and everything you have done is a perfect reflection of what Infinite Wisdom presented to you as circumstances and choices required for your evolutionary journey. Infinite Wisdom creates nothing other than perfection. So if we can accept that we are the creation of Infinite Wisdom, we must also accept that we are perfect. And if we can accept that we are perfect, how could we possibly make mistakes?
No one feels this perfection or even understands it unless one becomes aware of certain natural laws. Then and only then can one perceive perfection in everyone and in everything; then and only then can one see that we are all perfect in every way, all the time.
Recall my point about how we all seek validation every day. When we do not receive it, it becomes the driver of many of our negative and chaotic behaviors. When we do receive it, we find ourselves contented, comfortable, and soothed by this warm sense of belonging. Every small measure of validation is an incredible feeling. So imagine for a moment what total self-validation would feel like. In other words, you would always feel the way you feel when other people validate your appearance, actions, or opinions — and that feeling would not be dependent on how other people view you. Rather, it would come from within. Every moment of every day, you would feel validated by yourself. Wouldn't that feel like freedom? Isn't that a state of being more in tune with who you want to be?
CHAPTER 2Changing Perspectives
From this point forward, our aim will be to exercise our free will to evolve into an enlightened, or aware, state — to become the channel for the Universe to express here and now and the latest version of Infinite Wisdom's greatest vision. We will become more skilled and peaceful as we seek this enlightenment.
But this task seems so huge! Enlightenment seems so unattainable! This "seeming" is true, for what I ask you to start doing today is to take steps to evolve as a human being. We can initiate that process this very moment by our contemplation of the Metta Sutta of Buddhist teachings. The Metta Sutta establishes a mental picture of our true nature and gives us a context into which we may expand our awareness. Consider the Metta Sutta:
May (we) be able and upright, straightforward, of gentle speech, and not proud. May all beings be happy. May they live in safety and in joy. All living beings, whether weak or strong, tall, stout, average or short, seen or unseen, near or distant, born or to be born, may they all be happy.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Above the Fray by Owen Thomas Ashton. Copyright © 2016 Owen Thomas Ashton, MD. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
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transfer of your personal data to another party.
Links from our website
Our website may, from time to time, contain links to and from the websites of third parties that we permit to make such links. If you follow a link to any of these websites, please note that these websites have their own privacy policies and that we do not accept any responsibility or liability for these policies. We recommend that you check these policies before you submit any personal data to these websites.
CHANGES TO THIS PRIVACY POLICY
Any changes we may make to our privacy policy in the future will be posted on our website, so please ensure that you are viewing the correct version.
Please contact us if you have any questions, comments or requests regarding this Privacy Policy.
Last amended May 2021.