THE PERSON I USED TO BE: Finding Myself Through the People I Once Blamed (The Becoming Series) - Softcover

Kuan, Miya

Softcover

ISBN 13: 9798194312665

Publisher: Independently published, 2026

Synopsis

What if the people who trigger you the most are actually showing you something about yourself?

For years, I searched for happiness everywhere except within.

I chased achievement, money, relationships, recognition, approval, and the feeling of being chosen. I believed that if I became successful or loved enough, I would finally feel complete.

But every achievement brought only temporary satisfaction. Soon, I was searching for the next thing that might finally make me feel enough.

I didn't realize how much of my adult life was shaped by the child I used to be—the girl who compared exam results, loved praise, wanted to win, and feared being replaced.

Those experiences quietly became beliefs:

I need to succeed to be worthy.

I need to be chosen to feel loved.

I need approval to know I am enough.

I carried these beliefs into friendships, relationships, my career, and the way I saw myself.

Then life challenged everything I thought I knew.

Failures humbled me. Heartbreak exposed my fears. Friendships changed. Career disappointments tested my confidence. Financial struggles challenged my security. Emotional exhaustion forced me to stop pretending everything was fine.

Eventually, pain led me somewhere I had spent years avoiding:

Within.

I began exploring self-awareness, emotional triggers, projection, shadow work, inner-child healing, forgiveness, boundaries, meditation, gratitude, and the beliefs influencing my life.

Then I discovered one of the most uncomfortable—and liberating—truths of my journey:

Sometimes the people who trigger us are mirrors.

The attention seeker may reflect the part of us that wants to be seen. The controlling person may reveal our fear of losing control. Someone else's confidence may awaken our insecurity. Rejection may touch an old belief that we aren't worthy of being chosen.

This doesn't mean harmful behavior should be accepted or that every difficult situation is our fault. Boundaries matter. Other people's actions belong to them.

But our reactions belong to us.

Instead of asking:

"Why are they like this?"

I learned to ask:

"Why does this affect me so deeply?"

The Person I Used to Be is a personal journey from unconscious patterns to self-awareness, from blame to responsibility, and from trying to change others to having the courage to look within.

Through personal stories, reflections, and practical exercises, this book explores:

• Childhood beliefs and emotional wounds
• Approval, comparison, jealousy, and insecurity
• Emotional triggers, shadow work, and projection
• Inner-child healing, forgiveness, and boundaries
• Learning to pause instead of react
• Rewriting limiting beliefs
• Letting go of resentment and control
• Building empathy, self-respect, and self-awareness
• Becoming intentional about who you want to be

This isn't a book about becoming perfect.

It's about becoming honest.

Maybe the person you used to be was trying to feel loved.

Maybe they were trying to prove they mattered.

Maybe they simply didn't know another way.

You cannot rewrite who you used to be.

But you can understand them. Forgive them. Learn from them.

And decide who you become next.

If you've struggled with comparison, rejection, people-pleasing, difficult relationships, self-doubt, or emotional triggers, this book is for you.

You may begin thinking about everyone who has hurt or triggered you.

But by the final page, I hope you'll be looking somewhere different.

Within.

Because real transformation doesn't begin when everyone around us changes.

It begins when we do.

Edition details

• Publisher: Independently published
• Publication date: 2026
• Language: English
• ISBN 13: 9798194312665
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 88