The Sex & Intimacy Repair Kit: How to Enhance Communication and Create a Lifetime of Passionate Intimacy - Softcover

Pailet, Xanet

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1963667417 ISBN 13: 9781963667417

Publisher: Books That Save Lives, 2026

Synopsis

This book will save your marriage and repair your broken relationship!

If you feel like you’ve become roommates instead of lovers…
If sex feels like another chore—or has disappeared altogether…
If you miss the passion, the laughter, the ease you once had…
This book is for you.

The Sex & Intimacy Repair Kit is not just another relationship book. It’s a hands-on, heart-opening guide to help couples repair emotional disconnection, reignite sexual desire, and create the kind of deeply satisfying partnership you both crave. Xanet Pailet’s first book, Living the Orgasmic Life, has become a #1 bestseller and is regarded as a classic in the category of relationships, love, and intimacy. 

What makes it different?

You won’t just read about what to do—you’ll feel like you’re sitting in a real coaching session. Throughout the book, you’ll step into intimate, behind-the-scenes moments with real couples—complete with guided exercises, actual dialogue, and the kinds of compassionate, no-BS insights you’d hear if you were working with Xanet one-on-one.

Inside, you’ll discover:

• How to talk about sex and feelings without shutting down or blowing up
•  Practical tools to repair trust and reconnect after years of distance or pain
• A new paradigm for sex that centers on mutual pleasure—not performance
• Erotic style frameworks to understand what really turns each of you on
• Simple, powerful intimacy rituals to bring joy and sensuality back into your daily life

From the Author 

In an age of distraction and disconnection, this book is a call back to what is real—to touch, tenderness, and the courageous act of opening our hearts again. It’s a guide for remembering the language of intimacy: how to listen with the body, speak with the heart, and love with presence. These pages offer a map for couples longing to repair, reawaken, and create a new story of connection built on trust, passion, and authenticity.

About this title

About the Authors

Xanet Pailet is a former New York City health care lawyer who lived in a sexless marriage for over two decades. After experiencing her sexual healing and awakening in 2011, she transitioned her career into a full-time sex and intimacy coach, working with individuals and couples to empower them around their sexuality and strengthen relationship and intimacy skills. Xanet has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Brides, Sex with Emily, and SheKnows, and lives in Asheville, North Carolina. 

Marques Ogden is a former NFL player who is now an inspirational keynote speaker. He's also the founder and CEO of Ogden Ventures LLC, three-time best-selling author, business coach and consultant and the podcast host of Get Authentic With Marques Ogden; although his journey didn't come easy or without unrelenting adversity. After retiring from football, Marques pursued a career in construction and contracting. At 27, he founded a construction company with fast growth but eventually went bankrupt, losing almost two million dollars on one project in 90 days. He pulled himself together during his darkest hours and got a part-time job as a custodian. Marques rose to the top again with hard work and determination, using his struggles as inspiration to blaze his own trail forward. Now, he shares his powerful story to help others learn how to fail forward and achieve success in their lives. Marques' story and insights as a thought leader have been featured in top publications such as USA Today, Forbes, News Nation, Cheddar News and Authority Magazine. As a speaker, he's landed jobs with over 85 Fortune 500 companies and over 20 Fortune 100 companies like Amazon, Goldman Sachs, Intel, and JPMorgan Chase. Marques lives in Northern California.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Chapter 2: How Did We Get Here? Why Couples Struggle and End Up in Sexless Relationships

Jess and Henry were sitting on opposite ends of the couch in my office. They were recounting for me how they met in their first year of college. I asked Henry what attracted him to Jess. “It was her laugh”, he said, “she had this big, genuine musical laugh, and she always was able to find the lightness in any situation. But I haven’t heard her laugh like that in years.”

Jess looked down and played with the fringe on her sweater. “We were so in love in the beginning. I felt like Henry was my best friend and an amazing lover. I could share anything with him and our future looked so promising”. 

“What do you think happened over the past 30 years, I asked gently, “how did you get to this place?” Jess paused, her fingers still twirling the fringe. "Life happened, I suppose," she said softly. "We got caught up in our careers, raising the kids, paying the mortgage, taking care of our aging parents. Somewhere along the way, we became roommates and co-managers of our household.” 

Henry nodded, a pained expression crossing his face. "I remember the day I realized I couldn't remember the last time we'd had a real conversation. Not about schedules or bills, but about our dreams, our fears. It scared me."

"And yet, "you're both here now. What made you decide to come to an intimacy retreat?"

Jess looked up, her eyes meeting Henry's for the first time since they'd entered my office. "Our youngest left for college last month," she said. "Suddenly, the house was so quiet. And in that quiet, I realized I barely knew the man I was living with.”

“Henry said, we’re in our early 50’s and healthy and this is not the relationship either of us wants. Things either need to drastically improve, or we both need to move on.”

I nodded, sensing the mix of determination and apprehension in Henry's voice. "That's a brave realization," I said. "Many couples struggle to admit when they've reached that crossroads."

Jess shifted on the couch, turning slightly towards Henry. "I think... I think we both want to try," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "But I'm scared. What if we can't find our way back to each other?"

Henry reached across the couch, his hand hovering uncertainly in the space between them. After a moment's hesitation, Jess reached out and took it.

"I'm scared too," Henry admitted. "But I remember that girl with the infectious laugh. And I remember the guy who could make her laugh. I want to believe they're still in there somewhere."

I watched as they held hands, a small but significant move towards connection. 

This pattern is all too common when working with couples struggling with intimacy. It begins like any fairytale - two people meet, fall in love, and start building a life together. But as time passes, external pressures and responsibilities take over, leaving little time for nurturing their relationship. As a result, physical intimacy fades into the background, becoming less and less frequent until it disappears completely. And before they know it, they find themselves trapped in a relationship without passion or emotional connection, living as roommates rather than lovers. The story is heartbreaking and unfortunately all too familiar.

In this chapter, we will explore the common challenges that often plague couples like Jess and Henry and leave them feeling emotionally and physically unsatisfied. These struggles can lead to a lack of intimacy and fulfillment in the bedroom. We will identify these obstacles and provide solutions in later chapters for overcoming them, ultimately creating a stronger and more satisfying bond between you and your partner.

Inadequate or Poor Communication

It is a universal truth that the vast majority of relationship problems stem from issues with communication. These problems can range from expecting your partner to anticipate your thoughts and needs to fearing judgment if you express your true emotions. The intricacies of effective communication are like a maze, filled with hidden obstacles and potential misinterpretations. It takes skill and effort to navigate through it successfully, but it is essential for a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Failure to communicate openly and honestly can lead to misunderstandings and resentment, ultimately damaging the bond between two people.

In my years of counseling couples, I've found that communication breakdown often stems from fear - fear of vulnerability, fear of rejection, fear of judgment or fear of conflict.

Edition details

• Publisher: Books That Save Lives
• Publication date: 2026
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 1963667417
• ISBN 13: 9781963667417
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 272