Toddler's Owner Manual: Father's Edition - Softcover

Bedwell, Steve

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1925017192 ISBN 13: 9781925017199

Publisher: Rockpool Publishing, 2014

Synopsis

A humorous operating guide for fathers The Toddler Owners Manual is sure to bring a smile to any dads face. An essential handbook for any father facing the challenges of a rapidly developing little human it covers the ownership period of 12 to 36 months. Written by a man for men this likens a toddler to the other great love in a mans life his car. Also available Baby Owners Manual.

About this title

About the Author

Steve Bedwell is a comedy writer, television host, a radio personality, author, producer, ARIA nominated recording artist and comedian. Steve worked on radio at Melbourne Triple M and was a regular panelist in talk-back at 3AW.In TV Steve was the head writer of Tonight Live With Steve Vizard, was a regular guest on the program. He was also writer for the sketch comedy program, Full Frontal and a producer of The Eric Bana Show–Live. He has hosted his own show on the Comedy Channel, conducted celebrity interviews and stand up comedy pieces. He has worked as a writer for the TV Week Logie Awards. Apart from his radio and television career, Steve is also a highly respected stand-up comedian. He has performed in all major comedy venues all across Australia and overseas including feature shows at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Steve has written for the Herald Sun, The Australian Jewish News, Sydney Morning Herald and Adelaide Advertiser. He is the author of Suburban Icons: A Celebration Of The Everyday and Vizard Uncut.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Toddler Owner's Manual

Father's Edition

By Steve Bedwell, Glenda Downing

Rockpool Publishing

Copyright © 2014 Steve Bedwell
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-925017-19-9

Contents

A word of introduction from Mother Nature Heavy Industries Pty Ltd, 
Section A: The Road to Toddling, 
Section B: The Terrible Twos, 
Section C: Eating, Sleeping and Toilet Training, 
Section D: Correcting Bad Habits and Unwanted Behaviour, 
Section E: Entertainment and Beyond the Home, 
Further reading and resources, 
Appendix: Service history, 

CHAPTER 1

Section A:

The Road to Toddling

The First Anniversary

The first year of ownership of your child has been a tough one with many compromises to you and the co-owner's lifestyle and habits, not to mention sleep deprivation. Let's face it, babies and their nocturnal habits can be a nightmare. MNHI deliberately engineers its babies this way to prepare you for the rigors of toddler ownership.

Successfully raising a baby and getting to the end of the warranty period and to the commencement of the toddler phase of your child's life is an event to be celebrated, and MNHI has several recommendations on how to mark this momentous occasion. This occasion and the ensuing event will be henceforth be referred to as 'the party'.

The end of warranty party is a time of great rejoicing for the owner and co-owner. Suddenly your baby is not a baby any more and the security of the MNHI warranty protection plan has passed. What better time to celebrate ... or perhaps not? For the sake of the party and the enjoyment of the invitees, MNHI suggests that you concentrate on the birthday and less on the warranty running out.

MNHI would like to address several of the more common questions that its consultants get asked in relation to the one-year birthday party.

Who should I invite? MNHI advises it is important that this milestone be shared with as many of your living relatives as possible, even though you might not have seen most of them since you first took delivery of the baby. This is so you don't have to see the annoying ones for at least another year, and also to increase the present haul.

An array of adult friends should also be invited to the party. These are those friends who have been there for you with advice and assistance, whether wanted or not – let's face it, everyone's an expert – during the hiccups of the first year of ownership. This, too, will also help to increase the present haul.

It is important to point out that one of the prime reasons for hosting a first birthday party is the presents ... it's not like the child is going to remember it. Those adult friends you invite may also have children of a similar age, so you will be able compare the progress of your child with theirs. When comparing children and their progress, it is important to exaggerate and paint your child as being far more advanced than he is, because if you don't, the other parents will beat you to it.

Feel free to also invite acquaintances you have met during the course of your first year of baby ownership. You may have met these people through parent support groups or at a MNHI service centre while your babies were being attended to. Once again, these guests will bring presents for your child, and this is primarily what the party is about.

Remember, this is a baby party in name alone. This event is actually an excuse to get adults together to socialise and compare notes on toddler ownership. It should be noted that at least half of the advice given by friends and relatives on to

Edition details

• Publisher: Rockpool Publishing
• Publication date: 2014
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 1925017192
• ISBN 13: 9781925017199
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 128