Raising Children Compassionately - Softcover

Marshall B. Rosenberg

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1892005093 ISBN 13: 9781892005090

Publisher: PuddleDancer Press, 2004

Synopsis

Your search for parenting tips that actually improve your family dynamics is over. While other parenting resources offer communication models or discipline techniques, this powerful, practical booklet offers the unique skills and perspective of the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) process. NVC stresses the importance of putting compassionate connection first to create a mutually respectful, enriching family dynamic filled with clear, heartfelt communication. An exceptional resource for parents, parent educators, families and anyone else who works with children.

For over forty years, Dr. Marshall Rosenberg has taught NVC to parents, families, children and teachers. Parents around the world have used his advice to deepen family connections, move past conflicts and improve communication. His revolutionary approach helps parents motivate children to cooperate without either the threat of punishment or the promise of reward. Learn how to model compassionate communication in the home to help your children successfully resolve conflicts and express themselves clearly.

About this title

About the Author

Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. is the internationally acclaimed author of Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, and Speak Peace in a World of Conflict. He is the founder and educational director of the Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC). He travels throughout the world promoting peace by teaching these remarkably effective communication and conflict resolution skills. He is based in Wasserfallenhof, Switzerland.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Raising Children Compassionately

Parenting the Nonviolent Communication Way

By Marshall B. Rosenberg, Graham Van Dixhorn

PuddleDancer Press

Copyright © 2005 PuddleDancer Press
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-892005-09-0

Contents

Introduction, 
My Own Awareness, 
Our Education As Parents, 
The Limitations of Coercion and Punishment, 
A Certain Quality of Connection, 
The Limitations of Rewards, 
Transforming Your Habitual Communication, 
"Chore Wars", 
Unconditional Love, 
Preparing Our Children, 
The "Captain" Game, 
The Use of Force, 
Supportive Communities, 
How You Can Use the NVC Process, 
Some Basic Feelings and Needs We All Have, 
About PuddleDancer Press, 
About CNVC and NVC, 
Trade Books from PuddleDancer Press, 
Trade Booklets from PuddleDancer Press, 

CHAPTER 1

Raising Children Compassionately

* * *

Introduction

I've been teaching Nonviolent Communication to parents for thirty years. I would like to share some of the things that have been helpful to me and to the parents that I've worked with, and to share with you some insights I've had into the wonderful and challenging occupation of parenting.

I'd first like to call your attention to the danger of the word "child," if we allow it to apply a different quality of respect than we would give to someone who is not labeled a child. Let me show you what I am referring to.

In parent workshops that I've done over the years, I've often started by dividing the group into two. I put one group in one room, and the other in a different room, and I give each group the task of writing down on a large paper a dialogue between themselves and another person in a conflict situation. I tell both groups what the conflict is. The only difference is that I tell one group the other person is their child, and to the second group I say the other person is their neighbor.

Then we get back into a large group and we look at these different sheets of paper outlining the dialogue that the groups would have, in the one case thinking that the other person was their child, and in the other case, the neighbor. (And incidentally, I haven't allowed the groups to discuss with the other group who the person was in their situation, so that both groups think that the situation is the same.)

After they've had a chance to scan the written dialogues of both groups, I ask them if they can see a difference in terms of the degree of respect and compassion that was demonstrated. Every time I've done this, the group that was working on the situation with the other person being a child was seen as being less respectful and compassionate in their communication than the group that saw the other person as a neighbor. This painfully reveals to the people in these groups how easy it is to dehumanize someone by the simple process of simply thinking of him or her as "our child."

My Own Awareness

I had an experience one day that really heightened my awareness of the danger of thinking of people as children. This experience followed a weekend in which I had worked with two groups: a street gang and a police department. I was mediating between the two groups. There had been considerable violence between them, and they had asked that I serve in the role of a mediator. After spending as much time as I did with them, dealing with the violence they had toward one another, I was exhausted. And as I was driving home afterwards, I told myself, I never want to be in the middle of another conflict for the rest of my life.

Edition details

• Publisher: PuddleDancer Press
• Publication date: 2004
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 1892005093
• ISBN 13: 9781892005090
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 28