COMPANIONING AT A TIME OF PERINATAL LOSS: A Guide for Nurses, Physicians, Social Workers, Chaplains and Other Bedside Caregivers - Softcover

WOLFELT, ALAN

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1879651475 ISBN 13: 9781879651470

Publisher: COMPANION PRESS,US, 2005

Synopsis

Intended for nurses, doctors, midwives, social workers, chaplains, and hospital support staff, this guide gives caring and practical advice for helping families grieve properly after losing a child at birth. As the special needs of families experiencing perinatal loss are intense and require more than just the bereavement standards in most hospitals, this handbook offers tips and suggestions for opening up communication between caregivers and families, creating a compassionate bedside environment, and helping with mourning rituals. Encouraging continual grief support, these specific companioning strategies can help ease the pain of this most sensitive situation.

About this title

About the Author

Marcia Meyer Jenkins RN, is a childbirth educator and perinatal bereavement co-ordinator at St. Francis Hospital and parish nurse at Russellville Community Church in Russellville, Indiana. She lives in Indianapolis, Indiana. Alan D Wolfelt Ph.D. serves as director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition. He writes the 'Children and Grief' column for Bereavement Magazine and has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Larry King Live, and Today. He is the author of Healing Your Grieving Heart, Healing a Teen's Grieving Heart, and Understanding Your Grief. He lives in Fort Collins, Colorado.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Companioning at a Time of Perinatal Loss

A Guide for Nurses, Physicians, Social Workers, Chaplains and Other Bedside Caregivers

By Jane Heustis, Marcia Jenkins

Center for Loss and Life Transition

Copyright © 2005 Jane Heustis and Marcia Jenkins
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-879651-47-0

Contents

Title Page, 
Copyright Page, 
Dedication, 
FOREWORD, 
PREFACE, 
INTRODUCTION, 
CHAPTER ONE - FAMILIES: BECOMING PART of THEIR STORY, 
CHAPTER TWO - CAREGIVERS: ENTERING INTO the WILDERNESS, 
CHAPTER THREE - ENVIRONMENT: CREATING a SPACE for MOURNING, 
CHAPTER FOUR - COMMUNICATION: BEGINNING the CONVERSATION, 
CHAPTER FIVE - STRATEGIES: PRACTICING the ART of CARING, 
CHAPTER SIX - MEMORIES: MAKING the MOMENT LAST a LIFETIME, 
CHAPTER SEVEN - DISCHARGE: PREPARING for the WORK of MOURNING, 
CHAPTER EIGHT - OTHER PREGNANCY LOSSES: SUPPORT WHEN THERE IS "NO BABY", 
CHAPTER NINE - AFTER DISCHARGE: CONTINUING COMPANIONING, 
CHAPTER TEN - FINAL THOUGHTS: FINDING JOY, 

CHAPTER 1

FAMILIES: BECOMING PART of THEIR STORY

John and Mindy experienced the stillbirth of their first baby at 40 weeks gestation. This is their story, told at a support meeting months later.

They arrived at the hospital early on Monday morning. Contracting since the evening before, they showed up in triage — video camera rolling — ready to greet Matthew, their soon-to-be-born son.

Both were so excited they didn't notice the nurse's difficulty finding the fetal heart rate. After a few tries, the nurse announced she was going to get an ultrasound. They weren't even thinking about anything going wrong. The doctor had had trouble a few times in the office because of Mindy's larger size. When the resident doctor, a person they had never met before, spoke the words "I can't find a heartbeat," Mindy said, "Can't find it? Where did it go?" As soon as she said it, she saw a look of horror on John's face. The doctor continued, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Harris, but your baby has died."

Mindy thought: this isn't possible; the baby was moving just this morning. Besides, she had done everything her doctor asked and read every book on pregnancy. She asked for another doctor. When a second doctor verified the diagnosis, she asked for another ultrasound machine. Not until Mindy's own doctor came did she begin to believe. John sat by the bedside dumbfounded, unable to speak. Mindy thought about crying but couldn't. Rather she felt someone had lifted her up and put her someplace else. She knew she was in the bed and she saw people talking but couldn't hear what they were saying. John experienced the opposite: it was as if the walls of the cubicle closed in, trapping him, forcing him to hear every word. Thoughts of losing his wife as well as his son raced through this mind.

Mindy was quickly moved to a labor room. An IV was started and epidural placed. Staff talked to her about seeing the baby at delivery, but their words were garbled to her. John stood nearby, not sure what to do. When the chaplain suggested he contact family, John mechanically made calls, telling them "there might be something wrong with the baby." He couldn't make the "real words come out."

Matthew was born about 12 hours later. They decided to wait to hold him. Mindy said she was too exhausted from the delivery and John agreed. Looking back, they realize they both were too afraid — afraid of what he would look like, afraid of what his lifeless body would feel like, and, most of all, afraid the pain would be too overwhelming. It was their nurse who helped

Edition details

• Publisher: COMPANION PRESS,US
• Publication date: 2005
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 1879651475
• ISBN 13: 9781879651470
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 153