Quiet Mind: One Minute Mindfulness (For Readers of Mindfulness An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World) - Softcover

Kundtz, David

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1573248622 ISBN 13: 9781573248624

Publisher: Conari Press, 2003

Synopsis

In a Rat Race? You Can Stay Calm, Relaxed and Spiritually Awake

Find yourself in the spaces between yourself and life. David Kundtz offers readers an exploration of depth and self-authenticity through his introspective book Quiet Mind: One Minute Mindfulness. The book contains a series of reflections that can illuminate every aspect of life. You will find guidance on using the moments between activities, which the author calls "still points", as opportunities to focus on becoming more fully awake to who you are.

Welcome to a quiet mind―tranquillity, calmness, and clarity―in the midst of a too-busy world. In those moments where we often find ourselves in the busy hustle and bustle of everyday life, Quiet Mind offers us an extension of time by allowing ourselves just a few minutes of our day to stop and really think: Am I really living in the moment?

Quiet Mind Features:

• Quotes made by influential artists and literary figures of the 20th century that offer insight to the quality of life that we are building
• Small and quick chapters that can be revisited over-and-over again that touch on a variety of life-related subjects ranging from “rat race living” to “finding peace at work”
• Insight that stems from spirituality and psychology that will help keep you meditative

More than a meditation book. A welcome respite for anyone who lives a life that feels nonstop, Quiet Mind is an invitation to rest, find peace, awaken, and remember.

If you enjoyed works such as The Power of Now, Quiet Your Mind, or Untethered Soul, then you will discover that Quiet Mind will give you the tools you need to live in the moment.

About this title

About the Author

David Kundtz has enjoyed several careers, including eighteen years in religious ministry and twenty years in the practice of psychotherapy, public speaking on stress and emotional health, and writing. He has graduate degrees in psychology and theology and a doctorate in pastoral psychology. He is the author of Quiet Mind, Stopping, Moments in Between, Awakened Mind, and several other books.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Quiet Mind

One-Minute Retreats from a Busy World

By David Kundtz

Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC

Copyright © 2000 David Kundtz
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-57324-862-4

Contents

Foreword by Steven Harrison
A New Way of Dealing with Life
one Still Moments in Busy Days
two Making Room for Life
three Remembering to Take the Time
four Finding Your Balance
five The Spaces in Between
six Creating Opportunities for Serenity
seven Defining Your Values
eight Finding Peace at Work
nine Embracing Life
ten Paying Attention
eleven Knowing Thyself
twelve Awakening to Wonder
thirteen Connecting with Others
fourteen Giving Back to the World

CHAPTER 1

Still Moments in Busy Days

Taking Time to See

Nobody sees a flower, really—it's so small—we haven't time, and to see takestime....

—Georgia O'Keeffe

These are the days of the time famine," says Odette Pollar in her newspapercolumn aimed at helping people work smarter. She cites some interestingstatistics. According to a Harris survey, the amount of leisure time enjoyed bythe average American has shrunk 37 percent since 1973. In the same period, theaverage work week, including commute time, has jumped from fewer than 41 hoursto nearly 47 hours, and in some cases up to 80 hours a week.

I like the term time famine, and starvation is certainly an appropriate analogyfor our situation. Many of us are starved for time and we have a passionatedesire to be fed. We are starving for those moments of solitude when we can justhang out, cleaning out a drawer or looking through old letters, with no pressureor guilt. Our starvation deprives us of the nutrition that those in-betweentimes used to give us: a feeling of centeredness in our lives, of awareness ofour spiritual needs and those of our families, a confident sense of self-knowledge.

Georgia O'Keeffe's words ring authentic as you look at her paintings of flowersShe spent many hours "doing nothing" with a flower. No time famine for her. Herartistic life in the desert was a statement against that idea. And we continueto benefit from the results.

In a famine—at least in the best of situations—those who have help those whohave not. Thus a question presents itself: Where are you in the time famine,among the haves or the have-nots? Sometimes one, sometimes the other?

For have-nots: Today, stop and really look at a flower (or an O'Keeffe renderingof one).

For haves: Help someone else to do the same.

Rat Race

The trouble with the rat race is even if you win, you're still a rat.

—Lily Tomlin

The metaphor of the rat race as a way to talk about the nature of contemporarylife is instructive. I wonder about its origin. And just what is a rat race? Ipicture a maze in some scientific laboratory with a dozen rodents scrambling inall directions, trying with great frustration to find their way to freedom. Isthat a rat race? Did anyone tell the rats they were in a race? Is there really awinner in a rat race?

And that we should choose this metaphor as a way to talk about the way we liveour lives is ... what? Alarming? "Well, we've got to get going and join the ratrace." We do?

The metaphors we use not only reflect the way we live, but create the way welive. If we call life a rat race, it will tend to become one.

So let's change metaphors. Here are a few suggestions:

Life is a cat prowl. I envision slow and careful steps, a calm awareness of whatis going on in my neighborhood, and a pace that suits my needs.

Life is a dog walk. I move now with lively interest, with stoppings and goings,encounters with other dogs, trees, and people, always ready to respond to afriendly petting.

Life is a fox trot. Here is a bouncy-stepped way to dance through life. Find apartner! You can always sit the next one out.

Life is a monkey march. Life is a pony canter. Life is a whale breach. Life is aswallow soar. Life is a pig parade. Life is an elephant lope. Life is a bearexcursion (the one I'd pick).

Spend a quiet time today and pick your metaphor for life's journey.

Sounding Well

Rests always sound well.

—Arnold Schoenberg

Rests, as I understand them, are those moments in a piece of music when there isa passage of time but no sound. There is nothing. So Schoenberg, the composer,says that "nothing" always sounds well.

Hmm. Sounds like a trick, or a riddle. What's wrong with this statement?Buddhists might call Schoenberg's words a koan, a paradoxical riddle with noanswer, used for discussion and teaching.

What can we make of it?

What gives life to the music is the feeling that jumps in during those pauses,during those sometimes incredibly quick split seconds when one note is justfinishing its last echoing vibrations, but before the next one takes up theprogression. The feeling slips, quick as a wink, into the gap and brings souland life to the music. It is first felt, then expressed, by the composer. Thenit is reborn with a familiarity, but also with the somehow new and uniquecontribution of each performer.

The feeling lives in the rests. And not just with the rests in music, but withthe rests in bus driving and kindergarten teaching and homemaking and managingand selling advertising and cooking supper and picking up the kids and phoningcustomers and writing reports and on and on. The feeling lives in what you putinto the rests. And the rests always sound well!

The quiet moments—rests—in your day make your whole day sound well.

As you go about your day today, notice the rests in the rhythm of the day.

Short Attention Spans

Modern life conditions us to skim the surface of experience, then quickly moveon to something new.

—Stephan Rechschaffen, M. D.

Most of us spend our days staring at the huge Mountain of Too Much. Because mostof us have too much of everything in our lives, it's easy to become overwhelmed.

One of the results of the Mountain of Too Much is that our attention spans getshorter and shorter, simply because there is less time for everything and wehave to move quickly or be left behind. And our culture accommodates this pace.

The format of this book is an example of that accommodation: short sections,easily read in a brief time. So also are the ideas behind this book—ways forbusy people with full lives to become spiritually awake and recollected, torelax, and to manage stress.

The challenge is balance. Do we have the ability to pay attention for only ashort span of time? Or can we still call upon the often-needed skill ofconcentrating for long periods, with ongoing attention? Can we stay with a goodprocess even though it is long or old or out of style?

Or are we compelled to "skim the surface of experience, then quickly move on tosomething new" just because it is new? For if we only skim the surface of life,we will, necessarily, become superficial.

Time spent doing nothing is an antidote to superficiality. It encourages anddevelops the skills to focus and pay attention for both the short and long haulsand helps us to probe below the surface, not just skim it.

Identify a project that requires ongoing attention and ask: What kind of quiettime do I need to support and encourage my ability to stick with it?

Every Day

One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see afine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.

—Goethe

These are the things Goethe wanted in his day, every day. What do you want inyours? Here is a snippet from a conversation I overheard in a busy downtownstore between two middle-aged women:

"It's so good to see you. We just don't seem to get together as much any more,and it seems so many of us are saying the same thing. Why is that?" said one.

"I know exactly what you mean," said the other. "It seems that there's alwaysjust too much going on."

I'm convinced we all really do know what is happening to the way we are in theworld, compared to the way we want to be. As the woman said, there's always justtoo much going on. The problem is not what we don't know; it's that we somehowfeel powerless to change it.

When you have begun dealing with the problem of too much going on, you can startto identify just what you want to include in your "every day."

Even when you get together with your friend, you might discover that Goethewasn't far off the mark. With your friend you might hear a little song (listento some favorite music), read a good poem (discuss an article you recentlyread), see a fine picture (visit a museum or show a photo of your grandkids), orspeak a few reasonable words (have an enjoyable conversation, catching up oneach other's lives).

Today take some moments to decide what you want your "every day" to include.Repeat every day forever.

Going to the Post Office

In proportion as our inward life fails, we go constantly and desperately to thepost office.

—Henry David Thoreau

You may depend on it," Thoreau continues, "that poor fellow who walks away withthe greatest number of letters, proud of his extensive correspondence, has notheard from himself this long while."

I think I know the cause of our cultural, spiritual, and social problems today,just as Thoreau knew 150 years ago. Our inward life is failing.

Many of us know this, of course, and just knowing it doesn't change things. Butwhat if someone—maybe you—could convince ten or twenty people to stop going tothe post office for their information, and instead to stay quiet and recollectedfor a few minutes or even an hour a day to attend to their "inward lives"? Whatif I could do the same?

I used to think that what we needed was a saint or a prophet: a modern-dayFrancis of Assisi who would call us to our senses by the power of his exampleand love; or a Joan of Arc to inspire us with her disdain for the acceptable,her single-mindedness, and her devotion to her voices.

But we have saints; we've always had saints, canonized or not. We've always hadprophets who are well attuned to their inward lives, who have voices of passionand love, voices of virtue and wisdom, who live lives of example and service,and who call us to the same.

And still many of us keep on stumbling to the post office.

Today, find a way to redirect your trip to the post office to a journey to yourinward life.

Permission to Stop

The only way we could justify sitting motionless in an A-frame cabin in thenorth woods ... was if we had just survived a really messy divorce.

—Ian Frazier

The author's words are a complaint that he had to have justification for doingnothing. He and his friends could not do nothing just because they wanted to;they had to have a very good reason, such as divorce. Then they could justifytaking time off, or "wasting valuable time"—they had an excuse. They had justgone through something painful, and people would be hesitant to criticize them.Their guilt would be minimal.

But then he wisely throws out that kind of thinking and gives himselfpermission—no justification necessary—for doing nothing.

Unnecessary self-restrictions and false guilt burden many of us and keep us fromthe peaceful times we yearn for. Quiet time to be alone is not an optionalnicety; nor is it just for the retired, the lazy, or those naturally inclined.It is for all of us. It is valuable time well spent.

And above all, it needs no justification other than its own noble purpose: tobecome more fully awake and to remember what you most need to remember aboutyourself and your life.

Do you need permission for doing nothing?Here it is! Use it today.

Finally Getting It

Thanks for Nothing!

—A young seminar participant

Often I find it difficult to get across the idea of doing nothing. I firstdiscovered the resistance to the idea in myself. I continue to discover it inother people as I speak on Stopping.

We are just not used to doing nothing. It sounds and feels and seems wrongsomehow. We want to fill up the time with something.

At a recent mini-seminar at a bookstore, a young man, about seventeen, enteredlate, wearing his hat backward and carrying a skateboard. He sat down in themiddle of the front row and paid close attention to what I was saying.

Midway through the presentation he raised his hand and said, "What you're sayingis that we should spend a lot of time just thinking about the really importantthings in life, right?"

"Nooo," I answered, "I'm suggesting that's something we should not do! Just donothing, don't try to think about anything!" My answer was met with a vexed andquizzical look. The look remained, and as I continued the seminar his attentionstayed focused on my answer to his question, and not on what I was saying.

After a little while, he stood up quite suddenly, smiled at me, gathered up hisskateboard and backpack, and began to leave.

"So long," I said, interrupting my presentation. All eyes were on him as he tookthe opportunity to say, "So long! Oh, and thanks for Nothing. I appreciate it!"

I think he meant it.

Today, consider the question: What is my understanding of doing nothing?

Reality Check

It will never rain roses: When we want to have more roses we must plant moretrees.

—George Eliot

Occasionally someone will say to me, "Just sitting and doing nothing seems to berunning from the real world, hiding from what you don't want to face." Myresponse is to reiterate that intentionally doing nothing is indeed the oppositeof running and hiding. This is because it brings you face-to-face with—even tothe point of embracing—the most important and challenging aspects of human life,those based on your meanings and values.

As Eliot says, if you want roses, plant trees. What doing nothing can do is helpyou know what you really want—is it roses, or gladiolas, or redwoods, or none ofthose?—so that you don't end up with a beautiful garden of what you don't want.

The English novelist quoted above, George Eliot, speaks these words frompersonal experience. Born Mary Anne Evans into the male-dominated Victorianworld, she led her rich and complex life successfully competing in thetheological and literary worlds of her time. Her masculine pen name increasedthe power she needed in order to be all she wanted to be, not running andhiding, just embracing life as she saw it, and in the era in which she saw it.

No waiting for a rain of roses for her.

Today consider if you are waiting for a rain of roses.

New Eyes

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but inhaving new eyes.

—Marcel Proust

A significant challenge to any seminar presenter is the problem of follow-up orcontinuity: What is going to allow the participants to keep their new insightsfresh and accessible? What would keep the information from fading into the fogof forgetting, which the passage of time seems to engender? It's typical forparticipants to leave the seminar with the best of intentions and enthusiasm,and just as typical for participants to lose them in a few weeks.

One response to this challenge is to base the seminar on the skill of having neweyes. If you leave with new eyes, the follow-up problem takes care of itself;everything you see from now on will be a new discovery.

You will have a new and different way of seeing something that you have beenlooking at all your life.

Something such as "doing nothing": Today I am going to use new eyes with which tosee "doing nothing."

For today, please see time spent doing nothing not with your old eyes, not as awaste of time, not as boring, not as unproductive, not as guilt-ridden laziness.Now, please see it with new eyes, as very fertile time, as urgently necessaryand life-giving time, in which to wake up and remember who you are.

See it as the most important time of your life.

The problem of follow-up disappears when you have new eyes.

Today bring new eyes, rather than new landscapes, to what you want to discover.

Road Rage

There is no class of person more moved by hate than the motorist.

—C. R. Hewitt

I wonder if you have the same experience that I sometimes do. I'm driving along,thinking that I am in a fine mood, when the driver waiting at a stoplight infront of me puts on his left turn signal just as the light turns green. Thereaction is immediate and strong: I am absolutely furious! I struggle not to layon the horn and do a few other things as well.

How can I go from serenity to rage in an instant? And because of such a thing asa left turn? Can't I really afford the thirty seconds or minute that I'll haveto wait? What happened? What's going on in me?

The only answer I can come up with is that the car has become a symbol of somany of the societal frustrations we experience today. The classic symbol of ourindependence now often thwarts our progress and becomes an inconvenience and alimit on our freedom, not a means to it.

For a serene life, we need to pay a lot of attention to driving automobiles,whether or not we actually drive.

I propose spending some time getting to know your car—well, not your car,really, but getting to know yourself in your car. Think about how you want toreact to other drivers, talk to family members and friends about your commonexperiences while driving, and perhaps change your expectations of what drivingwill actually be like for you—more traffic, more delays, more jams.

And if the rage hits you anyway, remember to take a deep breath or two—always dothat. Then see what you can come up with to restore serenity. I try to think ofthe fact that I'm only one of many trying to get somewhere. And if I'm feelingparticularly honest, I recall that sometimes I am the one putting on the leftturn signal just as the light turns green.

Spend some time with your car today.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Quiet Mind by David Kundtz. Copyright © 2000 David Kundtz. Excerpted by permission of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Edition details

• Publisher: Conari Press
• Publication date: 2003
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 1573248622
• ISBN 13: 9781573248624
• Binding: Paperback
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 384