Closer Than You Think: The Easy Guide to Communicating with Loved Ones on the Other Side - Softcover

Deborah Heneghan

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1571746617 ISBN 13: 9781571746610

Publisher: Hampton Roads Publishing Company, 2012

Synopsis

Have you lost someone you love and sensed they're trying to reach out, send signs or let you know they're okay? Have you wondered how you might have a clearer connection with them? Now you can with this easy guide to communicating with loved ones who have passed to the other side. CLOSER THAN YOU THINK shows how to get back in touch with a loved one so you can experience the comfort of their presence and receive their guidance from their big-picture perspective from the beyond.

Filled with tips, tools, strategies and stories to help the reader make contact, CLOSER THAN YOU THINK will give you hope, comfort and peace that your loved ones do 'live on' and are engaging you in a very real way. You will learn and comprehend how to connect and communicate with your deceased loved ones 'on your own' and 'in your own time' helping you to remain close to them in a natural, healing way.

CLOSER THAN YOU THINK shows how to:

Recognise the signs, dreams or other messages from your loved ones.

Open the dialogue with your loved one for a lifetime of continued Communication

Transform your anger and grief into hope and action.

Tune-in to healing guidance

Based on Debbie Heneghan's personal experience of communicating with her dead sister over the past two decades and her subsequent work setting up a national resource for after-death communications, CLOSER THAN YOU THINK provides hope, comfort and peace that loved ones do 'live on' and are engaging us in very real way.

About this title

About the Author

Deborah Heneghan has been communicating with her dead sister for over 20 years. She is the founder of Closer Than You Think, a national resource for after-death communications, grief management and learning how to live a more spiritually fulfilled life. She offers guidance through personal and life coaching, her audio CD/book and teleseminars. She has her own weekly radio show and has appeared on TV.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Closer Than You Think

The Easy Guide to Connecting with Loved Ones on the Other Side

By Deborah Heneghan, Linda Sivertsen

Hampton Roads Publishing Company, Inc.

Copyright © 2012 Deborah Heneghan
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-57174-661-0

Contents

Introduction, 
Chapter 1 Gotta Have Faith: Dumping Doubt Through Prayer, 
Chapter 2 Good Grief: Let 'er Rip; It's Better Out than In, 
Chapter 3 Rock Star Moments: Bigger than Life Signs, 
Chapter 4 Subtle Signs: The Moments You Can Easily Miss, 
Chapter 5 Calling All Angels: They're Waiting; All You Have to Do Is Ask!, 
Chapter 6 From Bugs to Bugs Bunny: Connecting with Critters and Creatures, 
Chapter 7 Living for Two: Who Says You're All Alone?, 
Chapter 8 Celebrating and Healing with Your Loved One: Rituals that Make Your Heart Smile, 
Acknowledgments, 
Resources, 

CHAPTER 1

Gotta Have Faith: Dumping Doubt Through Prayer

Faith. What does faith have to do with communicating with your loved ones on theother side? My experience is that no matter what religion you follow, practice,or don't, faith has everything to do with fostering a spiritual connection.There are countless things I could say on the topic of faith, but simply put—ifyou don't believe (have faith) that you can communicate with and receive signsfrom those on the other side, you won't. (Oh, they'll still send you messages.You'll just ignore them or attribute them to coincidence.) With faith, however,the possibilities are limitless. Your loved ones in spirit, no longer bound bythe laws of earth, may just blow the doors off your limited thinking and yourhardened heart.

But I get it. Faith can be a tricky word, and the act of being faithful,illusive. Let's break it down, shall we?

Faith. You hear it all the time, don't you? The word itself is bantered aboutlike it should be the most natural thing in the world:

• Have faith.

• Keep the faith.

• You've just got to have faith!

But what if you don't have faith, or you've temporarily lost yours? What if youonce felt faithful regularly, if not all the time, but after the loss of a lovedone, you feel robbed of your faith? Faith is our natural state, but when we loseit with a loved one's death, we don't seem to be able get it back without goingthrough the natural process of grieving (the topic of our next chapter). It's amust to work through whatever anger, depression, or pain has depleted yourfaith.

In this chapter, I share stories I've collected that are designed to inspireyour faith, as well as a few considerations to think about anytime you'refeeling low and need support.

First, I want you to know that faith waxes and wanes for most of us. Even MotherTeresa, through personal letters released upon her death, admitted being plaguedby a crisis of faith throughout much of her life. When death touches you, as itdid for Mother Teresa on a near-daily basis (as she administered to the sick anddying in Calcutta and some of the world's most impoverished locales for manyyears), it would be illogical to expect a person to have no doubts about thebenevolence of the almighty.

I think we all ask ourselves questions after experiencing deep loss. Questionslike: Is there a God? Is God really a loving God? If so, why do bad thingshappen to good people? And the big one: If we're all going to die anyway, what'sthe point of life?

I believe we're here to go through a variety of experiences (that appear bothgood and bad) to help us grow. If you're going through a crisis of spirit, myheart goes out to you. I understand what this kind of loss can do to your psycheand your view of life, God, and the Universe itself. Hang on. Things will shift.The feelings of hopelessness that often accompany grief do go away. My friendLinda used to describe the death of her mother as "the day the earth tilted onits axis," the day "nothing quite felt or looked the same way." While it took ayear for Linda to feel the beauty of life again, no one could argue that herlife wasn't forever altered. In her sadness, Linda never could have known thather mother was still with her and continued to enrich her life. She couldn'tknow that her belief in life would return. But thankfully, both proved to betrue. As I believe they will for you.

My sister has been gone a long time now. I'm on the other side of grief, so youmight think it's easy for me to be positive. True. I have learned to look beyondher death as a sad, negative, and emotional situation and see it now as ablessing in disguise. But that takes time. And it's not always easy going. I dobelieve, however, that you will find gifts in death when you look deeply enough.It may take some digging, but gifts are there. Maybe it's as simple asrecognizing your own dreams again, or listening to your heart. Remarkably, evenafter twenty-five years, I still discover new gifts from my sister's passing allthe time.

Even when something doesn't immediately seem like a gift, my trust in lifeallows me to lift my head and stare down whatever has stepped into my path. WhatI've come to believe and experience over the years is that my higher power, God,never leaves my side. God guides me and loves me unconditionally, as He doeseach of us. Most importantly, God knows exactly what I need, when I need it, andhow I need it. So, when a decision I made turns sour, or the outcome isn'tremotely close to what I envisioned, or something happens out of the blue andthe life of a loved one is taken, I believe that everyone involved is being leddown a path for their highest purpose. It may take time to see how eachexperience actually helps me individually, but proof always seems to show up andput me back in my place; a good place—a place of 100 percent faith.

It's interesting to me that faith is universal. All cultures and religionsthroughout the world have a faith in God (or Gods), Spirit, or a higher power.All have a belief that the personality or the soul continues to have life afterdeath. I like to think they're right. I cherish examples that remind me to dumpmy doubt and keep my faith. Like this one ...

Synchronistic Street Fair

A dear friend of mine, Susan Kimutis—the author of Receiving Birth—and herhusband, John, lost their nineteen-year-old son, Joe, to a tragic accident inMarch of 2011. As they were working through their grief, they began receivingsigns of peace and comfort from Joe.

May the magic of the love that exists between worlds touch you through thisstory.

In Susan's own words:

One Saturday I was headed to my local health food store for a quick stop, but myplans changed when the main road was closed for a street fair. I weaved my way,blindly following the cars in front of me until I found myself again on familiarground. I popped into the store, got what I needed, and was out. I had to parkacross the street in a funeral home parking lot because street parking was apremium, due to the street fair.

I called my friend Lisa and asked her if she was at the street fair and couldshe meet with me. She was not. I had no idea why I did that or why I stayed,since street fairs are not my thing. But I walked toward the center of townanyway, passing booths promoting the Rotary Club, the public library, and thefuneral home, where I had just parked. I didn't stop. I was disinterested andsoon decided to get back to my car and head home.

As I began walking back, however, I became slightly annoyed with myself becausethe new flip flops I was wearing were giving me a blister on the top of my foot.What am I doing here? I don't even like Disney World; why am I at a street fair?Those thoughts were hanging in a bubble over my head when I felt a tap on myshoulder.

I turned around to see a young girl, maybe nineteen, standing in front of me.She was holding a bright pink business card, which she quickly pushed into myhand. She had an accent and beautiful black hair. I was reminded of Joe when Isaw her. "Would you like me to read your palm?" she asked. I hesitated,surprised. We discussed the cost and options, one palm or two. I decided on bothpalms.

The young girl grabbed my hands with purpose. She was pushing her thumbs deeplyinto my hands to better reveal every line. She began telling me a few factsabout me. Yes, facts. Things about my life growing up. Then she did it.

"You have recently suffered a great tragedy," she said. "Someone very close toyou has passed. Three of you have been affected greatly, but his passing hasdevastated many. Many, like a tribe of people. His life affected many." She usedthe word tribe, which I have heard many times describing the wonderful peoplewho have circled my family since Joe's death.

"He is fine," she said. I realized in that moment that tears were running downmy face, and I was not breathing. I took a deliberate, deep breath as shecontinued.

"Someone has been sad lately. He [Joe] knows this. He sees this man when he issad. When the man is sad, he kisses the top of his head."

I started to get dizzy. The noise and commotion of the street fair was allaround me. I was standing, growing roots in the center of the street, as thisyoung girl continued to squeeze and look into my hands.

John had been having a difficult week. He was missing his beautiful boy. It wasFather's Day. John was about eight inches taller than Joe. John was alwayskissing the top of Joe's head. I knew immediately what this meant.

Let me say that I, on occasion, dream about people who have passed. I am veryopen to everything she was saying to me. She could tell that I was open. Shelooked me in the eye and said, "You know this."

She then told me that he was watching very closely over someone who was youngerthan him but taller in this life. I knew of course, that was Sarah, his sister.She is 5'9?. He was 5'7?. He was fiercely protective of her.

"Please know he is fine. He is happy," the young girl said one last time.

We were done. I went through the motions of paying her. I continued crying as Iwalked back to my car.

When I got home, I gave John his Father's Day present from his son, who is fine,kissing the top of his head.

All is well.

* * *

Wow! Susan followed her inner guidance and found herself wandering through thefair, even though it wasn't something she typically fancied. The beauty of thisstory is that it's only one of many experiences that Susan, John, and othermembers of their tribe have been blessed with since Joe's passing.

They have faith. They are open. The grace of spiritual connections continues onand on for them, just as it does for Vicky in this next story.

Touched by Angel Clouds

My very good friend Vicky was in her thirties when she lost her mom to a sudden,unexpected heart attack. They were very close, and she was crushed to receivethe call from her father late one night. Vicky hurried to the hospital, but shedidn't make it in time. She tried moving forward from her loss by taking timeaway from her everyday life and booking a flight to vacation in Arizona with me.

We flew on separate planes, and during Vicky's four-hour flight, she sat in awindow seat. A grandmother and the woman's four-year-old grandson sat next toher. The boy was outgoing and energetic—"as cute as a button," Vicky told me. Hepointed out the window and, with such innocence, turned to Vicky saying,"There's an Angel out there. She's your mom. She wants you to know thateverything is okay." Chills went up and down Vicky's spine. Tears poured fromher eyes as she stared out the window, hoping to see this Angel, her mother. Shesaw nothing. The boy was surprised she and his own grandmother couldn't see whatwas right in front of them.

Although this child was only four years old, Vicky believed he was a wise soul.He did not give specific details about the Angel he saw, but he did say that shehad a beautiful smile and was very happy." Vicky's heart exploded with love andappreciation. Since her mom had passed, Vicky always wondered if her mother washappy and at peace. At that moment, she knew. She cried and hugged the littleboy as if he were her mom. The boy held her in his arms, comforting her, just asa mother would do. Vicky had faith the boy saw the truth, and she cherishedknowing that her mother was happy and in a heavenly place.

Vicky, the grandmother, and the grandson spent the rest of the flight talkingand getting to know each other. Once she arrived in Arizona, I picked her up atthe airport and we headed straight to the hotel pool. It was a perfect, eighty-five-degree,sunny Arizona day. Vicky shared her story with me, and we laughed,cried, and reminisced. As we floated on rafts in the pool, gazing at themajestic mountains surrounding us, we couldn't believe our eyes. There, up inthe crystal-clear, blue sky, were three perfect angel clouds, more intricatethan any painting or drawing. One angel was playing a trumpet, another wassimply flying through the air, and the last held a harmonica. We gasped, frozenin place, knowing exactly who those angels were—Vicky's mom, grandfather, and mysister.

We had never felt anything like this before. An indescribable calm, serenefeeling came over us. More powerful than any connection we'd ever experienced.

Years later, Vicky still cherishes the bond she feels with her mom. "My motherhas never left my side since. She has helped me through many challenges with herunconditional love and guidance whenever I need her."

I asked Vicky to share how she knows when her mother is nearby. "Oh, that'seasy," she said. "I smell her favorite perfume when she's around, helping out."I thought about that, remembering a time another friend told me of smelling hergrandfather's cigar in her apartment in college, the day she heard he had died,five hundred miles away. I hear that a lot from people—that they smell roses orperfume when a loved one passes or comes back from the other side with avisitation or a message.

"I also hear Mom's favorite songs when I need a hug," Vicky continued. "When I'moverwhelmed with feelings of sadness or anxiety, I will see her favorite movieson TV, even though they're oldies." Vicky knows it's more than the coincidencesthat make her certain her mother is sending her messages. "It's the feeling thatcomes over me when I smell, hear, or see these things. It's a peaceful,comforting feeling that washes over me, and it's very real."

It's the combination of signs and messages like these that continuouslyincreases Vicky's faith, just as it does for me.

We all want to feel assurance from a departed loved one. We all want healing.People flock to dramatic signs that God or the Virgin Mary or Jesus or othersaints could really exist in order to feel better about their place in thisworld. Thousands have reported seeing the Virgin Mary through apparitions in thesky, or they tell of seeing her statues weep, bleed, turn color, or move. Maybeyou've heard of Lourdes, France, where five million pilgrims make the annualtrek to visit the cave and drink the water where a peasant girl by the name ofBernadette Soubirous had eighteen Virgin Mary sightings in the late 1850s beforeshe became a nun.

What I love about faith is that if you're open to believing, you can receivesigns, or proof, that life continues after death anywhere, not just at a churchor a sacred site far, far away. We are always getting messages from those whohave passed on that they're here watching over us and loving us, even in themost unlikely places.

Restoring My Faith in Reality TV

I have a love-hate relationship with reality TV. I love getting caught up inthese over-the-top shows, but I also think some of them go too far,disrespecting the participants and their audience. They can be incrediblyshallow!

And yet, The Bachelor and The Bachelorette have been known to catch my interest—yeah,mine and about 15 million other Americans'! There was something veryspecial and powerful about the last episode of The Bachelorette in the summer of2010. Ali, the lucky lady doing the choosing, was standing at the altar inTahiti, ready to proclaim her love for one of two men left standing. The man shedid not pick, Chris (who had to pack his bags to go home with a broken heart),had previously shared his gut-wrenching story of quitting his job to help hisfather take care of his dying mother, a death that had only occurred within thelast two years. Time and again, when Chris and Ali were together, he would speakof his mother and the wonderful relationship they had shared. He talked of theimportance of family values and relationships.

During one episode, Chris mentioned that right before his mother passed away,she told him to look for her in rainbows—that she would come to him throughthem.

When Ali broke up with Chris, he was devastated. But there was a wonderful twistto the story. Not five minutes after Ali let him go, he stepped outside and whatdid he see? A huge, perfect rainbow! Chris was in awe, as was the audience,because it had not rained at all that day. All he could do was shake his headand look up to the sky toward his mother.

Ali had also seen the rainbow as she walked back to her hut. She, too, cried andsmiled, completely astonished. She said she was so thankful that Chris's mom wasthere to help him through this trying time.

The best part for me was that the host of The Bachelorette, also named Chris(Harrison), talked about the phenomenon with the rainbow and how touching it wasduring the "After the Final Rose" show. He mentioned how everyone affiliatedwith the production of the show had acknowledged the rainbow and its connectionwith Chris and his mother, remarking at how amazing it all was.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Closer Than You Think by Deborah Heneghan, Linda Sivertsen. Copyright © 2012 Deborah Heneghan. Excerpted by permission of Hampton Roads Publishing Company, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Edition details

• Publisher: Hampton Roads Publishing Company
• Publication date: 2012
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 1571746617
• ISBN 13: 9781571746610
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 176