SMILE FOR NO GOOD REASON: Simple Things You Can Do to Get Happy Now - Softcover

Lee L. Jampolsky

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1571745742 ISBN 13: 9781571745743

Publisher: Hampton Roads Publishing Company, 2008

Synopsis

"This book brings a 'smile' to my face--as it will to yours!"--Dr. Richard Carlson, author of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff <p/>"A delightful book that guides people through the daily stresses of life with hope and optimism."--Caroline Myss, author of Anatomy of the Spirit <p/>Recapture the joy of living! <p/>We live in an incredibly hurried, stress-filled time in which we often feel that our lives are not only out of our control, but have become meaningless. In order to regain ourselves, we are left to believe that we have to make dramatic life changes, such as changing jobs, changing relationships, or even changing religions. Dr. Lee Jampolsky disagrees--"Nothing needs to change in your life situation or the world in order for you to have peace of mind." This starling and simple statement is the basis of Dr. Lee Jampolsky's book,
Smile for No Good Reason, a gentle and practical approach to achieving personal and professional happiness. <p/>Smile for No Good Reason presents clear and concise ways to live a happier and more meaningful life. You will learn to feel more peaceful and be more productive by replacing the automatic ways you react from fear with new perceptions of yourself and the world.

About this title

About the Author

Dr. Lee Jampolsky is a recognized leader in the field of psychology and human potential and has served on the medical staff and faculty of respected hospitals and graduate schools, and has consulted with CEOs of businesses of all sizes. Dr. Jampolsky has appeared in The Wall Street Journal, Business Week, The Los Angeles Times, and many other publications. Visit him at www.drleejampolsky.com.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Smile

For No Good Reason

By LEE L. JAMPOLSKY

Hampton Roads Publishing Company, Inc.

Copyright © 2000 Lee L. Jampolsky, PhD
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-57174-574-3

Contents

Acknowledgments, 
Introduction, 
Principle Number One: The essence of our being is love., 
Principle Number Two: Health is inner peace. Healing is letting go of fear., 
Principle Number Three: Giving and receiving are the same., 
Principle Number Four: We can let go of the past and of the future., 
Principle Number Seven: We can become love finders rather than fault finders., 
Principle Number Eight: We can choose and direct ourselves to be peaceful inside regardless of what is happening, 
Principle Number Nine: We are students and teachers to each other., 
Principle Number Ten: We can focus on the whole of life rather than the fragments., 
Principle Number Eleven: Since love is eternal, death need not be viewed as fearful., 
Principle Number Twelve: We can always perceive ourselves and others as either extending love or giving a call for help., 
About the Author, 

CHAPTER 1

Principle Number One:

The essence of our being is love.

Love releases us into the realm of divine imagination, where the soul is expanded ...Love allows a person to see the true angelic nature of another person, the halo, theaureole of divinity.

Thomas Moore, inCare of the Soul

Whatever the problem, love is in the solution.

Life can appear to be an endless series of problems to be solved—some big, some small,some insurmountable—all calling for a different solution. You may even be facing someright now.

Attitudinal Healing offers another way of looking at problems (and the world) by focusingon the one solution to all your challenges: Your attitude in solving any problem is far moreimportant than the particular action you might take. When you approach a perceivedproblem with a defensive or angry attitude, even if you arrive at the desired solution, youwill not have peace of mind. What good does it do you to solve problems if you never findhappiness?

If you are compassionate in your approach to all tasks in life, believing that all "problems"contain valuable lessons, you will find peace of mind. Instead of being a constant "problemsolver" become a "love giver." This one shift can change your life.

Life is not as complicated as you have made it with your endless list of problems.Attitudinal Healing is based on three simple truths:

1. There are really only two emotions: love and fear.

2. There is really only one problem: the belief that you are separate from God, humanity, andnature.

3. There is really only one solution: discovering that the essence of your being is love.

When your mind is fearful, which it can easily become accustomed to being, you hold onto guilt and resentments from the past, and anticipate problems in the future. This createsa life where, even though you may accomplish a good deal, consistent happiness isimpossible. It is important to see that your guilt and resentments are causing you pain andlimiting your growth, success, and happiness. Only by seeing the effects of guilt will yoube willing to see the alternative.

Whatever the problem, love is the solution. You may be saying, "Well, my problem is thatmy mortgage is late. How is love going to pay it?" Or, "My problem is that I just got firedfrom my job. How is love going to be the solution?" Or, "I am alone and want arelationship. Whom do I have to love?"

When these types of situations happen in your life, you can become very narrow in yourthinking. All of your energy goes into the crisis at hand, and peace of mind escapes you.In approaching any problem or upset that you have there are two truths that will help youdirect your life toward happiness. These may not necessarily put money in the bank, haveyour boss rehire you, or deliver your soul mate to your door, but they will put peace in yourmind. Then, regardless of the situation, you will find happiness.

The two truths that will direct your mind toward peace and give you the ability to get themost out of all situations are:

1. I can choose to be peaceful no matter what is happening.

2. Life's problems have nothing to do with my true identity. I am one with God, and myessence is love.

Reminding yourself of these truths on a regular basis throughout the day will be abeginning in taking charge of your thinking, and thus your life. Practicing them whenconfronting a challenging life situation will make you immune to the ups and downs of theworld.

Knowing your peace of mind is up to you, not the world, is the most powerful and securestate of mind you can achieve.

Let a child teach you something.

It is hard to look at children and not see innocence. If you allow them to, they will teachyou everything about love.

I have a friend named Michael who is four years old. Michael has a rare chromosomedisorder and is delayed in some of his cognitive development in areas such as speech. Iwas speaking with his mother and I asked how his speech was coming. In a loving wayshe let me know that Michael is doing just fine at being who Michael is. I realized that myemphasis on the importance of language, instead of other forms of communication, keptme from seeing and fully appreciating Michael. She went on to tell me that though hedoesn't talk much he kisses and hugs quite a bit, and he doesn't discriminate as to whoreceives his enthusiastic and spontaneous affection. Thus there are some surprisedstrangers receiving large and loving embraces.

After speaking with Michael's mom, I realized that I would benefit from talking less andindiscriminately loving more. Michael never sees a world full of problems to be solved. Hesees a world full of people to be loved.

The essence of yourself as a child still lives in you, innocent and full of love. Let a child reintroduceyou to yourself.

Decide what you are a student of.

When people enroll in college or other institutions, they decide what courses they wouldlike to take, assumably because they have interest in the subject. It would not make muchsense, or be conducive to learning, to randomly go from class to class each day with nodirection or purpose.

Think of your life as a place of education where you have the opportunity to choose whatyou want to learn. Imagine you can choose between two curriculums: One is taught atFear State, the other at Love University.

To attend Fear State, the only requirement is for you to believe that you are separate fromGod and therefore your essence is not love.

To attend Love University, your only requirement is for you to believe there just might beanother way to go through life. No matter what you may have done in the past you willnever be rejected from Love U. Also, Love University allows transfers from Fear State atany time, no questions asked.

The curricula at the two schools are quite different and lead to very different realities andexperiences. Fear State is based on the philosophy of the ego, which teaches that you arealone and separate in a cruel and harsh world. Love University is founded on the truth thatall beings are created in love, and that this love is within you now.

Take a look at the courses each offers, and decide where you want to spend your timelearning. Note that Fear State describes its courses in a way that might initially soundattractive. Like any relentless recruiter, Fear State tries to sell you by saying that followingits path will ultimately make you safe, powerful, and secure. When reading its courseofferings, ask yourself if the recruiter just might be trying to pull the wool over your eyes.

Fear State Course Offerings

Fear 101. The Use of Guilt and Judgment:

This course teaches numerous ways to beat oneself and others up about things thestudent may have done in the past, and about who one believes one is. The premise isthat one does this so as not to make further mistakes.

Fear 102. The Use of Blame:

This unique course offers the student ways to avoid just about anything. It teaches that ifone doesn't feel peaceful, all one need do is find what is wrong in the external world andblame it. This course is a prerequisite for Fear 105.

Fear 103. The Use of Time:

Students will learn how to dwell on problems and will learn that trust is a foolish thing. Inthe second part of the course, the student will learn a variety of ways to worry about thefuture. None of the material teaches about the present, because, to the fearful mind, it isdangerous and uncontrollable.

Fear 104. Desire and Scarcity, the Greatest Motivators:

The student will be taught that the more one has and accomplishes, the happier one willbe. Emphasis is on the belief that as long as the student wants more, the student will bemotivated to achieve. Scarcity will be taught by demonstrating if one gives away what isbelieved to be important, one will have less.

Fear 105. Control All and Be Safe:

The central teaching of this course is that if one can always be right, one can always behappy. The first part of the course teaches that if one can control others one will achievegreat success. The second part shows how to use guilt, intimidation, fear, domination,manipulation, conditional love, and criticism to get what it is that one thinks one wants.

Love University Course Offerings

Love 101. Acceptance:

This course teaches that the only thing one can really change is one's own mind. Thestudent is taught to accept what cannot be changed, and change what can be, therebyachieving peace of mind.

Love 102. Forgiveness:

Through seeing no value in holding on to guilt the student discovers the essence of allbeings is love. This is the foundation of forgiveness.

Love 103. The Use of Time:

Participants will learn how to discover love by letting go of the past and ceasing to worryabout the future. Participants remove all limitations from themselves and others bypracticing the core teaching: "Now is the only time there is. This instant is for giving andreceiving love."

Love 104. Abundance:

Participants learn that giving and receiving are one in truth. Through ongoingdemonstrations, everyone joyfully learns the important equation that what is mostimportant, love and compassion, increase as we give them away.

Love 105. Service:

Participants learn that the greatest source of joy comes from sharing Love. Throughservice, students learn that assisting others in loving ways gives purpose and meaning totheir existence.

Each minute of every day you are deciding upon what you want to learn. Both Fear Stateand Love University are possible choices, but only one is worthy of your investment. Themore you can consciously turn your back on the loud recruiter of Fear State and walktoward the gentle guidance of Love University, the more you will discover the dividends ofjoy, happiness, and self-acceptance.

You choose your own curriculum. Do you want to be a student of love or a student of fear?

Spend more of your life trying to understand other people's views than trying to sell themon your own.

What did you want most as a child? To be loved? And what could most effectivelycommunicate that you were loved? Was it not to be listened to with interest and caring?Though the world might seem much more complicated as an adult, nothing has changedin terms of your most basic needs. There is no greater gift you can give a person thanlistening to them.

Despite popular opinion, the goal of listening is not to figure out how the other person iswrong and how you can make them see it your way. Nor is it to figure out what theproblem is and fix it. The goal of authentic listening is to love.

People are so busy in our culture that lack of listening is epidemic. One of the mostcommon complaints in couples' therapy is, "I just want to be heard. He/she doesn'tunderstand me." Teenagers often state, "I am tired of only hearing what I do wrong. Youhave no idea what my life is really like." Younger children act out because they experiencetheir parent's lack of listening. Employees often know their company well and have goodideas, yet rather than being listened to, they are often handed a new policy to follow.Officials elected to represent the people often forget to listen and instead they promoteagendas of their own.

Listening can be mistaken for doing nothing. This is because you can believe that takingsome sort of physical action is always necessary. Listening authentically is active, and isone of the most powerful actions you can initiate in your life.

Try a little experiment. Instead of taking some physical action, focus on actively listeningmore. Active listening means that you listen to other people with the full intention ofunderstanding them. For this experiment, let go of any criticism you might have of theother person. Don't try to figure out any solutions to what they are saying. Simply listen.Your eye contact, relaxed body posture, and unhurried mood all communicate, "I want toknow your perspective and your experience." If you give verbal responses, let them becentered on trying to understand the other person, as opposed to arguing or offering youropinion or advice.

This experiment can be challenging because really listening requires slowing down andbeing present. It is worth the effort because there is no greater gift, especially to thosepeople whom you most love.

Practice active listening and other people will feel loved and accepted by you. And, youwill feel like you were just given wings.

Know when your plate is full.

If you were dining in a restaurant and the waitperson kept putting more food on your plate,you would likely say you were full. Does it not make sense to do the same when yourbeing—your emotions, intellect, and spirit—is on overload? Know when your plate is fulland you will be much happier.

In today's fast pace, few encouraging words are given in the workplace for a balanced andthoughtful life, in which one has clear priorities of family, physical, spiritual, and mentalhealth. A common attitude has become "the more stress you can handle the better."Compliments are given to those who look haggard while saying, "Boy, what a rough day! Ihad twelve hours of nonstop work."

Eight common signs of having too full a plate are:

1. People close to you suggest you slow down.

2. There are no more people close to you.

3. The mere thought of working less brings on anxiety.

4. Rather than relaxing on vacation you bring along "just a little" work or have a long list ofthings to do or sights to see. Or, you begin to feel anxious on returning from a holiday.

5. You spend less and less time doing activities that are important to you.

6. Little, insignificant things easily annoy you.

7. Your body reacts with frequent illness.

8. You die young.

Some years ago in New York City it was discovered by chance how stress could begin tofeel like what is normal. A noisy above-ground portion of an existing subway was reroutedaway from the windows of many apartment houses. Surprisingly, rather than all of thetenants being able to sleep better, they were no longer able to sleep well at all. Peace andquiet were keeping them up all night! It turned out that most of them were waking up at theexact times the train was supposed to be going by. Over the years, they had become soused to the stress of the noise they now felt out of sorts without it.

It is possible that you live a life so constantly full of stress that you have becomeacclimated to it. Even when your plate is full you may continue to take on more. In fact,you may be so used to stress that when it is not there it feels like something is wrong.

You may believe that you have no choice other than to live with your current level ofstress. Think again. Your stress can be reduced. Begin by:

• Knowing when your plate is full and responding accordingly.

• Seeing that the purpose of all communication is to extend love.

It is remarkable how stress melts away when one sees that the purpose of everyinteraction is to love. You make room for this to happen in your life by not taking too muchon.

You can choose to stop living a life where you take on more and feel less. This is onefoundation of a spiritual path.

You are more important than your "to do" list.

Chances are excellent that the day you die your "to do" list will not be empty. You couldeither kill yourself trying to get it all done, or never start living because there is alwayssomething else to do first. There is another way.

Not only are you more important than your list of things to do, so are other people in yourlife. It is easy to put off relating to your self, spouse, kids, friends, and animals— decidenot to. Decide to relate.

At least three times every day take a moment and ask yourself what is really important.Have the wisdom and the courage to build your life around your answer.

I recently came across the following quote that puts priorities in perspective. I don't knowwhere it originated, but its simple wisdom gets my attention.

If you knew today was your last day to live who would you call, and what would you say?What are you waiting for?

What could you want that love doesn't offer?

Upon contemplating this question, you may begin to realize how much of your life hasbeen spent thinking that things other than love would give you what you want. This is aneasy mistake to make. Looking about the world what do you see? A multitude of moviesfilled with themes of revenge. Endless advertising which not-so-subtly suggests that somenew material possession will give you what you want. Relationships devoted to the ideathat you should give only if you know what you will get in return. Children experiencing theface of a computer more than the loving face of their parents.

How different your life becomes when you direct it toward God and see nothing as moreimportant than love.

Fear can create "cataracts of the mind," where seeing through the eyes of love becomesdifficult. Cataracts of the mind are made of ancient resentments, unreleased guilt,relentless fear, and endless thoughts of scarcity. When you look through this occludedlens, how could you possibly see the love that is really there?

In seeking love you don't seek something elusive. Love is always available. Yet it is easyto close the door to happiness because of the belief that something other than love offerswhat you want.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Smile by LEE L. JAMPOLSKY. Copyright © 2000 Lee L. Jampolsky, PhD. Excerpted by permission of Hampton Roads Publishing Company, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Edition details

• Publisher: Hampton Roads Publishing Company
• Publication date: 2008
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 1571745742
• ISBN 13: 9781571745743
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 256