Good Intentions: The 9 Unconscious Mistakes of Nice People

Robinson, Duke

ISBN 10: 1570424985 ISBN 13: 9781570424984

Publisher: Hachette Audio, 1997

Synopsis

Identifies nine common mistakes of nice people, including taking on too much, telling little lies, giving advice, rescuing self-destructive friends, reasoning with irrational people, and suppressing anger. Read by Duke Robinson. Simultaneous.

About this title

From the Author

The perfect antidote for stress caused by your "niceness."
"The ways we nice people were taught to earn social acceptance burn us out, bottle us up and build barriers between us and those we care most about. Thus our "niceness" behaviors rob us of joy and a sense of wholeness and render ineffective, even harmful, our well-meaning efforts to be helpful to others. The stress they create is killing us."

"This book calls you to stress avoidance. Books on stress usually talk about stress reduction or management. They address stress over which you have no control (loss of a job, death of a loved one, the crash of your hard disk, your car, your stocks). I focus, however, on the stress you can control, stress created by behaviors you learned as a child that now are unthinking habits with damaging, often invisible down sides. I argue that with a little insight and reasonable effort you can change your behavior. Then I show you how to do it."

"Niceness damages us. Love, on the other hand, makes life work right, and you know you owe it to yourself to love. But if love is something you do, if love is how you show respect to yourself and those close to you, how do you love those who tick you off, or disappoint you, or expect too much from you, or cling to you like a vine? In this book, I answer this question; I show you how to stop engaging in nine, very common, self-defeating behaviors and begin to love in ways that are liberating, integrating and effective, as well as nice."

Commendations From Others

"I hope many people will read this book for its honesty, eloquence, and wisdom." Harold S. Kushner, author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People

"Practical lessons for daily living from sound psychological principles." Martin V. Covington, Professor of Psychology, University of California, Berkeley

"A how-to book that breaks new ground." Robert McAfee Brown, author, professor emeritus Pacific School of Religion.

"Just the push many need to begin to set practical limits and to practice healthy self assertiveness." Publishers Weekly

"Speaks to the workplace. I wish I had this book earlier in my career." Darrell Floyd, Human Resources Manager, Nissan Motor Corp. USA

"An upbeat and honest message. It belongs in all counseling and public libraries." Lisa S.Wise, Library Journal

"This book could save (you) 100s of hours in therapy, and it’s a lot more fun." Robert Ball, director, California’s Self-Esteem Task Force, author, Walking on Water.

"Profound, provocative, and very, very practical." Shirley Nice, the Corporate Coach, San Francisco

"An unsentimental blueprint for complete living." Leroy Aarons, author, Prayers for Bobby

"Easy to read, honest, fun, and worth digesting" Jean Barker, Earthlight Magazine

"A superb book! Transforming. It deserves a wide audience" Stanley F. Hogle, executive director, Interface-Samaritan Counseling Centers, Houston

"Attention to this very readable book can make a difference in the way we live." Paul Gertmenian, CEO, Henry Gertmenian Company, San Francisco

"Provocative, like a time bomb! Stimulating grist for discussion." Benjamin Weir, author of Hostage Bound, Hostage Free

***** A GOOD INTENTIONS "Time Warner AudioBook," which the author narrates, also is available through Amazon.com. A Discussion Guide for Small Groups studying the book has been published by Bridge Resources of the Presbyterian Church U.S.A. The book itself is being published in nine languages.

From the Back Cover

Renowned minister Duke Robinson says that while well-meaning, considerate behavior is essential to a humane society, it carries a down side. In being nice, we consistently behave in self-defeating ways. We take on too much, strive to be perfect, tell little lies, try to rescue self-destructive friends, and fall prey to other futile behaviors. In this book, Robinson outlines the nine unconscious mistakes nice people make on a daily basis. He also shows how to stop these negative patterns dead in their tracks and replace them with life-affirming ones. Learn how to say "no" and save yourself from overload and burnout, be nice and honest at the same time, tell others what you want from them and actually receive it, express anger in ways that heal and maintain your valued relationships, respond effectively when people irrationally criticize or attack you, accept imperfection in yourself and others, and liberate your true self, stop rescuing self-destructive loved ones so they can save themselves, empathize and provide helpful information rather than give advice all the time, and effectively support people you care about who are grieving. Good Intentions will empower you to relieve your frustrations, be direct and effective in relationships, get what you want and deserve out of life - and still be a nice person.

Edition details

• Publisher: Hachette Audio
• Publication date: 1997
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 1570424985
• ISBN 13: 9781570424984
• Binding: Audio Cassette