OUR TIME IS NOW: A Woman's Guide to Creating a Life and World You Will Love - Softcover

Daly M.A., Mary Ann

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1504329325 ISBN 13: 9781504329323

Publisher: Balboa Press, 2015

Synopsis

Women are stepping up and making a big difference in the world like never before. Author and psychotherapist Mary Ann Daly shares an understanding of the the key to this powerful evolution in her book, Our Time Is Now.

Because women innately connect to the world, and each other, through their hearts, Mary Ann proposes the idea that channeling heart energy is a revolutionary way for women to have and own their own power.

Our Time Is Now inspires women to live intentionally, utilizing the strength and wisdom of their hearts to make the changes necessary to make our lives—and the world—a better place. This book will teach you to live with intention and higher consciousness, and find your path to creating the relationships, life and world you desire and deserve.

“Not only do I recommend highly a soulful reading of Our Time is Now, I also encourage you to give it as a gift to every woman you know.”

Karol Jackowski, best selling author of Ten Fun Things to do Before You Die.

“Mary Ann Daly is on a mission to help women everywhere live a life of joy, purpose,and direction. Enjoy!"

Adriana Trigiani, bestselling author of Big Stone Gap

“Mary Ann's insights and her unique perspectives will inspire you to action.”

Gale Dreas, author of Toolbox Parenting.

“An extremely timely book!”

Alyce Sorokie, author of Gut Wisdom

About this title

About the Author

"

Mary Ann Daly, M.A., is a Chicago-based psychotherapist whose professional career spans over twenty-five years.

She is also a speaker, workshop leader, and consultant. Mary Ann draws on her experiences as a therapist, daughter, sister, aunt, and friend to write with humor and insight about the beauty, wisdom, and power of a woman's heart.

\"

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Our Time is Now

A Woman's Guide to Creating a Life and World You Will Love

By Mary Ann Daly

Balboa Press

Copyright © 2015 Mary Ann Daly, M.A.
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-5043-2932-3

Contents

Preface, xi, 
Acknowledgements, xiii, 
Introduction, xix, 
SECTION 1: Identifying, 
Chapter 1 The Place God Calls You, 1, 
Chapter 2 Nature vs. Nurture, 7, 
Chapter 3 If Women Were In Charge, 12, 
Chapter 4 The Prize in the Cracker Jack Box, or Authentic vs. Illusionary Power, 21, 
Chapter 5 The Heart of The Matter: Feminine Heart Energy, 33, 
Chapter 6 What's Energy Got To Do With It?, 45, 
Chapter 7 Bonding and Belonging: Home Court Advantage, 53, 
SECTION 2: Owning, 
Chapter 8 The Nose Knows, 59, 
Chapter 9 When Angels Open Doors, or Faith vs. Fear, 71, 
Chapter 10 Love, Lemonade and Miracles — From Surviving to Thriving, 80, 
SECTION 3: Utilizing, 
Chapter 11 Breasts, Hearts and Rockin' Souls, 95, 
Chapter 12 The Evolution Revolution, 100, 
Chapter 13 Being the Change, 109, 
Afterword, 117, 
About the Author, 119, 

CHAPTER 1

The Place God Calls You

The Power of Female Relationships

It was my first week at my first job out of graduate school. I was sitting in my first therapy group with eight female clients who were all alcoholics or drug addicts (or both). The first woman to speak that night told me she wanted to rip off my face, and informed me that I looked too healthy and all-American for her taste, then asked what the hell did I know and how the hell could I help her or any of the women there since I wasn't chemically dependent myself. (This is actually the PG version of her comments.)

To say I was intimidated is an understatement. It was baptism by fire as I took on my new role as a counselor at a program for alcoholic and drug-addicted women. It was the beginning of some of the hardest and best work I've accomplished so far.

Even though I had sisters growing up, we were so far apart in age I didn't feel a sisterly connection. When I went to an all-girls high school and subsequently college, I discovered something very special in the sisterhood of women.

My new job only reinforced this. What I began to witness among these women who had been beaten down by the ravages of addiction and histories of trauma was the healing that came from the community of women. This was a tough and sometimes-hardened group of clients. Most of them had major trust issues. And many of these women didn't like other women.

But what I observed was that once they could get past their initial defenses and settle into the feminine presence of one another, the healing really started. They began to open their hearts. This is the power of what I refer to as Feminine Heart Energy. It is the energy that, when tapped into, can create the miracle of recovery. It is the energetic bond and connection that helps facilitate transformation. When utilized in a collective way this Feminine Heart Energy is what can also change the world.

Feminine Heart Energy

What exactly is Feminine Heart Energy? Here's how I've come to know it:

For years in my meditations I've often had visions of my heart as the center of my being. It's been during these times of quiet and reflection I've come to believe that our soul lives in our hearts, and this is why love is such a powerful force.

Our circulatory system carries our blood from our physical hearts throughout the body. Now imagine a similar system — this one invisible — that carries energy from our invisible soul throughout our bodies as well. This energy emanates from the soul, through our hearts, through our arms, and into our hands. That is why the healing power of touch is so strong; our hands are the work organs of our hearts and souls.

If our heart is the home for our soul, then imagine what it means for us to connect more fully with our hearts, both literally and figuratively. It is my belief that the flow of energy from our hearts and souls throughout our bodies is actually the essence of who we are. This is what I call Feminine Heart Energy.

The heart is a collective representation of feminine characteristics. This means it is symbolic of the internal: the collaborative, receptive, nurturing and loving parts of our beings. Similarly, masculine characteristics are symbolized by the external: the competitive, assertive, strong and pragmatic parts of us.

Both women and men have feminine and masculine characteristics, some more than others. I believe the key to health and success is having a balance between both. For too long, however, our world has been ruled by mostly male energy. This imbalance is the source of many of the challenges we face. It is time to incorporate our Feminine Heart Energy with the masculine.

Feminine Heart Energy is About Connecting with the Feminine Life Force More Fully

I believe that women have an easier ability to connect with our feminine life force more fully, as a result of our innate makeup. A purposeful transition of thought and comprehension regarding our heart energy is necessary to develop a new generation of power. I believe that by identifying, owning and utilizing this Feminine Heart Energy, we are capable of fixing the ills of our world and creating a healthier planet. This is how we will restructure our approach to the leadership required to produce the progress necessary for our world's betterment.

I've had the privilege of knowing many extraordinary women: family, friends, teachers, healers, clients, colleagues and more. This book has been birthed by the inspiration, encouragement and strength these women have selflessly given to me. I know I am not alone. I suspect you could say the same thing about the incredible women you've known throughout your life.

As a psychotherapist in private practice for over 25 years, I have often reflected on the numerous women clients I have had the honor of working with, women who have had the courage to do the work necessary to recover from a myriad of problems. These women have histories of depression and anxiety; tragic personal losses; life-threatening illnesses; divorce; addictions; dysfunctional families with generations of incest, violence and chemical dependency; mental illness; sexual and physical assault; and emotional despair. These are amazing women who, as a result of their hard work, have been — and are now — positively impacting our planet in many ways.

I wonder, however: Have these women truly realized their potential? Have all women, in general, realized their full potential? Do women really "get" that they are invaluable contributors, and have the important skills, insights and experiences that are essential to transforming the world?

So I pose this question: What if women — especially the many of you who have been through your own personal growth journey — intentionally used their wisdom, experience, talents, strengths and hope to help transform the world? If so, what would humanity look like?

An Outmoded Model of Power

Much too often we downplay our power or don't identify it as such, because it does not fit the traditional model of power: a male-based model.

A traditionally masculine version of power is about aggression, linear thinking, and competition, rather than collaboration. It is often focused on short-term gain, which creates greed, a "he who has the most toys wins" mentality, and a disregarding attitude toward the value of feelings. The focus is continually on the "bottom line." This type of thinking has very often been dismissive toward women, placing little value on our roles in the home and the world.

This is not a criticism of men. I love men; I am simply defining an outmoded model that hasn't worked well for quite some time now.

As women, we understand and know the importance of relationships in a very deep way, in every cell of our being. We don't have to wait until we are dying to comprehend the most important thing in life: Have we loved and been loved enough?

Author Raymond Carver put this so wisely. "... And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so? I did. And what did you want? To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the earth."

Fortunately, these days, more men than ever are able to connect with their feelings and hearts, to understand the importance of relationship, collaboration and long-term thinking — men who value and respect the wisdom of women. Men who comprehend that greed is NOT good. To me, these evolved men, many of whom were raised purposefully and intentionally to be this way by evolved women, are prime indicators that we are now ready for a feminine model of power.

Women have the inner resources to create an advanced and consciously evolved new breed of power. It is imperative that we take responsibility to do so now. We are at a critical juncture in the timeline of human history. There is tremendous need to create healthier, more functional ways to address the needs and challenges that face our communities, our country and our world.

Unfortunately, for many people, it is not until we are very ill, dying or in some other serious crisis that we are really able to see with our hearts and gain the wisdom to understand what is most important in life: Love. Rather than wait for things to get worse, we women need to intervene now to cure that which ails our world. It is crucial for the healing of ourselves and our world that we not wait any longer.

The Place God Calls You

There is a wonderful quote by Frederick Buechner that I keep on my bulletin board: "The place God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." This profoundly resonates with me while I write this book and imagine women as leaders and healers working to meet the needs of our world.

As women, our deep gladness usually comes from the relationships in our lives. It is our feminine nature that moves us to connect with others, whether as a wife, parent, daughter, sister, friend, neighbor or co-worker. As women, we tend to deeply and innately know, understand and value the power of our relationships.

Our world right now deeply and urgently needs us to focus on what is really important in life, and get into "right" relationships with ourselves and everything around us. This means that our behavior lines up with our values. Right relationships means intentional living; achieving healthy and balanced relationships with our bodies, sex, money, jobs, the economy, home, family, friends, our health, the earth, our neighbors (including our global neighbors), our spiritual beliefs, faith, our community, our country ... the list is endless. All the items I've listed have one thing in common: relationships.

Since most women experience relationships as the source of deep gladness in their lives, it seems only natural that women are being called to meet the world's deep needs. It is with this consciousness that you will utilize a new and advanced generation of power to help you gain awareness of how to harness the energy of your body, mind and spirit.

Through this upgraded and revolutionary vision of empowerment we will be discussing in the coming chapters, you will be able to create the relationships, life and world you desire and deserve. The key to the evolution of our well-being — and that of families, society and the world — is inside of us. It is about tapping into a healthier, regenerative source of power by valuing ourselves as women, and seeing clearly how our Feminine Heart Energy is the critical essence to create global survival and growth.

Reflections:

1. Imagine what a "woman's world" would look like. What would be different?

2. Do you know where the place is that God calls you?

3. Who or what is it that makes your heart sing and how might this be related to the above question?

4. In what areas of your life are you in "right relationship" with yourself? What areas you are not in "right relationship" with yourself?

CHAPTER 2

Nature vs. Nurture

Knowing how to develop and maintain relationships is at the heart of success. This is true in marriage, business, politics, education, religion and even healthcare. As women, we understand the importance of relationships in every cell of our beings. Is this nature or nurture? I believe it's both. As I said previously, I think woman have an innate ability to value relationships, and I also think this ability is encouraged and nurtured by families and society in general.

In college I read two research studies that showed the differences between boys and girls. Since I went to college over 35 years ago, I am unfortunately unable to cite the origin of these studies. However, I was obviously struck by them as I still remember them after all these years.

In one study, the researchers observed four-year-old children's play rituals. They noted that the girls were far more invested in the relationships between each other than in the game itself. During the course of play, when someone's feelings got hurt, the girls consistently adapted the rules to accommodate one another.

What the researchers observed in the boys was quite the opposite: the boys were far more involved in the task aspect of play. For example, if one of the boys didn't like something, rather than attempt to change the rules, he would quit the game. The rules were the critical piece for the boys; relationships were much less crucial in their play.

The other study observed preschoolers going to birthday parties. This study found that girls were typically invited by their mothers to be very involved in the entire gift giving process. The mothers would take the girls shopping and ask for their input on the choice of gift, cards, wrapping and party outfits. Throughout this process, mother and daughter were often observed talking excitedly about the upcoming party.

In contrast, the boys were much less involved. Most often they'd be told what to wear, handed a wrapped gift, reminded to behave and told when they would be picked up. Quite a difference! Based on this study it's understandable why women are often confused and upset when men don't put much thought into gift giving and why men "don't get" why it's so important to many women.

In the first study, the children were left to their own devices, and in the second, they were guided by their mothers. Obviously many of the differences between boys and girls are learned, but I am also convinced that a great deal of those differences are innate.

The problem, as I see it, is that when men don't operate the way women do; we tend to take it personally. I challenge you to "get" that the critical issue for us at this time is to value, appreciate, celebrate and respect ourselves and the important ways we are different from men! When we get frustrated with men for not having our innate gifts, we give our power away.

If you really stop and think about it, we are looking for men to be like us in order to validate ourselves. Our job at this point is for us to "get it" when it comes to how amazing we are because we are women!

There's a saying in 12 Step programs: "You spot it, you got it." This means that when we react strongly in a negative way to someone, it is usually because unconsciously, they are reflecting back to us a part of ourselves that we do not like. Anyone who has ever walked through the door of a therapist's office should be familiar with this concept.

The therapeutic process usually requires us to look at ourselves in this way in order help us become more conscious. This is a valuable tool to assist us in taking responsibility for our feelings and behavior. When we are able see how we are "hooked" by someone else's behaviors or attitudes from this new perspective, it usually dispels the negativity towards that other person. Energetically, there is a shift; we no longer feel "hooked," and they no longer have power over us.

Let's take a look at the things that tend to bother women about men, and keep in mind that perhaps these are things that reflect an unappealing part of ourselves. For example, how often do women complain that men just "don't get it?" Keep in mind that perhaps these are things that reflect an unappealing part of ourselves. The following story is a demonstration of how we often just "don't get it" ourselves!

Susan's Story: A New Way of Seeing

Susan is an immediately likable woman. She is bright, fun, talented, a successful business woman and a caring and involved mom. She is very skilled at expressing and communicating her needs.

I had seen Susan previously for therapy, and after she completed her course of treatment, she would come see me from time to time for "tune-ups." So when Susan walked into my office, agitatedly plopped herself on my couch and began venting, I listened closely.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Our Time is Now by Mary Ann Daly. Copyright © 2015 Mary Ann Daly, M.A.. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Edition details

• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Publication date: 2015
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 1504329325
• ISBN 13: 9781504329323
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 142