Items related to Even Better!: A Guide to Winning in Life

Even Better!: A Guide to Winning in Life - Softcover

Ballester, Bill

 
9781475972948: Even Better!: A Guide to Winning in Life
Softcover
ISBN 10: 1475972946 ISBN 13: 9781475972948
Publisher: iUniverse, 2013

Synopsis

Are you willing to accept the possibility that you can become EVEN BETTER in all of your relationships? Our entire lives are spent looking for answers that we hope will guide us to become even better at everything we do. In this guide, you will learn the nine principles of winning teams drawn from highly successful coaches from the world of sports, confirmed by leaders from business and government, and endorsed by successful parents. You'll learn how to successfully apply their secrets to all of your teams; become more efficient at solving problems; improve the way you communicate with others; and; overcome personal shortcomings to achieve success. Author Bill Ballester also explores why some coaches always win, regardless of where they go to coach; how some parents provide the leadership for their children to be happy and successful; and why some business and government leaders always seem to be able to create highly motivated and highly productive employees. Even Better takes a nontraditional approach, with many original insights, to help you move beyond ordinary to become extraordinary.

"synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.

About the Author

Bill Ballester is one of the most effective coaches in the country. He has made the transition from university professor and one of the nation's premier men's gymnastics coaches to a nationally known speaker, author, and leader in the field of team building. Whether, working with a profit-oriented business or a federal government agency, or sharing his thoughts with committed parents, Bill brings the same enthusiasm and intensity that earned him Hall of fame honors, and a lifetime winning percentage of 88 percent as a gymnastics coach.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Even Better!

A Guide to Winning in Life

By Bill Ballester

iUniverse, Inc.

Copyright © 2013 Bill Ballester
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4759-7294-8

Contents

Preface....................................................................ix
Acknowledgments............................................................xix
Part One: The Journey to Winning in Life...................................1
Chapter 1 Can I Be Your Coach?.............................................3
Chapter 2 Are We Speaking the Same Language?...............................9
Chapter 3 Change...........................................................17
Chapter 4 Two Different Teams, Two Different Results.......................31
Part Two: A Leadership Model for Winning Teams.............................47
Part Three: The Nine Principles of Winning Teams...........................53
Part Four: How to Solve Problems...........................................101
Chapter 5 Is There a Secret to Winning?....................................103
Chapter 6 Adventure in Baja................................................109
Chapter 7 Now Who Do We Blame?.............................................121
Part Five: Tools for Life..................................................151
Our Journey Together.......................................................152
Invitation.................................................................153
Appendix A.................................................................155
Appendix B.................................................................157


CHAPTER 1

Can I Be Your Coach?


Take a few more minutes to look inside yourself and react to this questionbefore you answer it. Your degree of acceptance will significantly affectour journey together. Before answering, I will tell you what the word"coach" means to me: a coach is a leader who is committed to servingthe team and the individuals on the team. A coach has the responsibilityto create an environment that will allow each team member to growand develop to his or her greatest level of potential. In other words, acoach exists only to provide an environment for all team members tomeet their personal goals while helping the team reach its goals andobjectives.

If you agree to let me be your coach, expect to learn how to win on allof your teams, expect to become an Even Better parent or grandparent,expect to become an Even Better leader with all of your teams. Don'tworry, there won't be any push-ups or running laps. So what about it?Can I be your coach? I am asking you to make a commitment to me asyour coach and to your own life, a commitment to learn how you canbecome Even Better in all of your relationships. Once a commitment ismade, the process of change will begin.


About Commitment

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance todraw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all actsof initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth,the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendidplans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, thenProvidence moves too. A whole stream of events issues fromthe decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseenincidents, meetings and material assistance, which no mancould have dreamt would have come his way. I learned adeep respect for one of Goethe's couplets:

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!

—W. H. Murray


If you are still with me, then you have made a commitment toyourself and to me as your coach to explore your opportunities foradditional growth and development, to create an Even Better life foryourself and those you come in contact with. We have establishedthat you like to win and that you have agreed to be coached by me.Fantastic!

My next question is, are you coachable?


Are You Coachable?

What does being coachable mean to you? As you think about youranswer, let's explore together what being coachable means to me. WhenI think of being coachable, I think of the following characteristics:enthusiasm, excitement, commitment, the willingness to change,the willingness to listen, the desire to learn and grow, and finally theunyielding desire to improve, to become Even Better at everything youdo.

Are you coachable? A good place for you to find this answer is tobecome aware of how you are receiving this information. How are youlistening? Are you open to learn? Are you critical? Cynical? Accepting?Bored? Excited? Your answers to these questions will help you todetermine if you are really coachable.

I will be asking you many questions throughout our journeytogether. When I have a question for you, or you have a question aboutwhat you are reading, stop reading and take a few minutes to reflect andanswer these questions for yourself. I encourage you to read this bookand to live your life constantly asking "Why" and "How" questions.


Listening

Being willing to listen is an essential part of being coachable. (Eventhough you are reading, your response to what you read is a form oflistening.)

Listening can mean many different things. Growing up, I wastaught to listen to what I was told, to keep my mouth shut, and to lookinto the eyes of the person who was talking. Even though I did thesethings, there were many occasions that I learned very little because Iwas not listening with an open mind.

Become aware of how you listen; are you open to consider that whatyou are reading (listening to) is possible? Are you willing to considerthe possibility that what you read might work for you and maybe evenchange your life? At the very least, ask yourself, "What if I can becomean Even Better leader or parent?"

If you are closed to an idea, and you have already made a decision,there is no real listening. Without listening, there is no learning, andwithout considering the possibility that you may learn something bylistening, you are not coachable. What's going on in your mind rightnow? Are you still coachable? Are you still open to possibility? Are youwilling to consider that Even Better! can actually change your life?

We all can become Even Better listeners when we make a consciouseffort to become aware of how we really listen. We can discover if we areclosing our mind to what we are hearing because we don't like a person'sage, race, nationality, sex, or even political views.

All humans have what I call "built-in" listening. We will listen tosomeone based on what we feel we will gain from listening. What wouldhappen if I told you that in this book, I will tell you how to becomean instant millionaire? How would you listen to me then? Would youcasually glance through the next few pages at your leisure, or wouldyou commit every ounce of your energy to discover what I would sharewith you? How we listen is tied directly to what we feel we will gainfrom listening. This isn't good and it isn't bad—it is simply part ofbeing human. My coaching suggestion: listen to everything as if youwill learn something that will change your life, and be open to learnfrom everyone.

I want to share one other observation about listening: the closer youare to someone—such as your spouse, your children, your parents, yourboss, or your employees—the less "listening" is actually happening, byanyone. Remember, there is no listening when you have already madeup your mind.

Nearly every leader has a so-called "open door policy." They may saythings like, "Come on in, my door is always open," or "What's on yourmind?" or "Of course I value your input." You may have heard similarstatements from your own parents. But sometimes, even after we areassured that there will be open listening, it does not happen.

It may be useful to share a personal story that illustrates my ownlack of listening. When my daughters were very young, I told themthat I was willing to listen to them about anything they wanted to talkabout. I also told them that my decisions were made with considerationof their input. When they were about fifteen or sixteen years old, theycame to me with a request that lingers in my mind, even after all ofthese years. They asked, "Dad, can we stay out until four o'clock nextFriday night?"

After a few deep breaths and an internal conversation (that I won'tshare here), I started to ask rather pointed questions like, "Why do youwant to stay out until four o'clock Friday night? Where do you want togo? Who do you want to go with?"

Even while acknowledging their answers, there was absolutely no"listening" by me! Why? Because I had made up my mind long beforeour conversation ended that there was no way I was going to permitthem to stay out until four that night, regardless of what they said tome.

Can you relate to this scenario in any way? Have you found yourself"tuning out" in a conversation, or being tuned out? What are youmissing by not listening? What are they missing by not really listeningto you? What might be learned that would be of value to you or to theother person if everyone was really listening with a mind that was opento possibilities?


Coaching Hint

Constantly be aware of how you are listening to those aroundyou.


Also, be aware of the possibility that others may not really belistening to you. Everyone is human and subject to the same problemswith their listening. Often in businesses, families, and even sportsteams, there is little or no listening going on by anyone. Coaches oftendon't really listen to their players, players don't really listen to theircoaches, bosses really don't listen to their employees, and employeesreally don't listen to their bosses. Parents and children really don'tlisten to each other either. Why is there so little real listening? Goodquestion. Because many have closed their minds to the possibility thatthere might be something of value for them if they really listened. Whatcan not listening cost you with your loved ones and your fellow teammembers? Without open listening, there is no effective communication,and effective communication is an essential part of team building andwinning in life.

How is your listening right now? Are you still listening with anopen mind? Great!

CHAPTER 2

Are We Speaking the Same Language?


Effective Communication

"What did you say?" "Say it again, please." "I don't understand." "Onemore time, please." I can't count the number of times that I have heardor spoken those words. I spent many years visiting Baja, Mexico, and Ienjoy the culture and the people; however, I do not speak their language.I have tried to learn Spanish, and I can communicate (a little), but thereare times when I just can't seem to understand the person I am talkingwith. I frequently use a dictionary or translator to make sure I am usingthe correct words; however, even with direct translation from Englishto Spanish, words can mean different things to different people. Myexperiences in Mexico have helped me to become more aware that mywords don't always convey my meaning and that my words may notmean the same thing to others. This chapter is written to minimize anymisunderstandings that may occur between us caused by our differentuse of certain thoughts and words. Our journey together will be muchmore effective if we have a common understanding of the meaning forwords and phrases that I frequently use. Spend a little time readingthrough these definitions and phrases and their meaning to me.


What Is a Team?

There are lots of different definitions for team. However, as yourcoach, I would encourage you to adopt my simple and straightforwardunderstanding of this term:

A team is two or more people who come together to accomplish somethingthat they could not otherwise accomplish as well alone.


Using this definition, you can see that we all are on many teams.Sometimes being a member of a team occurs by circumstance or default.We don't choose to be a member of the human team, and yet, by ourexistence, we are. There are many teams that we become members of bychoice: joining the school band, a sorority or fraternity, the local Rotaryclub, and athletic teams are choices that we each make individually.Finally, even though we don't usually think of them as such, we areinvolved in many different relationships and groups that are teams.Your family is a team (parents, children, relatives), you and your spouseare a team, you and your car mechanic are a team, and you and yourdoctor are a team. Any time that two or more people work together todo something they can't do as well alone, there is a team.

Here are some teams of which I am a member:

• The human team

• The USA team

• My family team (my parents, children, relatives)

• My work team

• My community team

• My Rotary team

• My readers and me (that's you!)


I encourage you to consider the many teams to which you belong;think about each of your teams and ask yourself, why am I on this team,what do I gain by being a member of this team, what can I do to makemy team Even Better?


What Is a Dream?

A dream is a visualization of a desired result. One of my first memoriesof dreaming happened in the first grade. I was just sitting there, lookingout the window, and dreaming of going fishing in a small creek near myuncle's home in northern Indiana. I really wanted to go fishing; I couldpractically smell the water as I envisioned myself sitting on the bankwith a bamboo pole in hand and a can of worms at my side. This dreambecame a reality later that summer, when my uncle invited me to spenda few weeks working on his farm. And it was remembering that dreamthat provided the inspiration for me to accept his invitation.

Unfortunately, dreaming was discouraged when I was in school.Teachers frequently told me to stop daydreaming and pay attention towhat they were saying (to listen). I later found that most things big andsmall start from unstructured thoughts (dreams) about a desired result.Keep dreaming! It is the first step to reality.

When I refer to dreams as they pertain to teams, it means thething that brings people together to form the team. A dream is theinspiration and visualization of a desired result; it usually starts with asingle person, and that person shares his or her dream with others thathave the desire to accomplish the same results, and together they forma team. Dreaming and sharing your dream are the first steps to creatinga winning team.


What Is a Team Member?

Teams are composed of members: people organized under a singledirective for a single purpose. In sports, there is a core group of teammembers: coaches and players. In families, this core group is usuallythe parents and the children. In business and in government, the coreteam is made up of employers and employees.

I will expand my definition of a team member to include anyonethat impacts the team and anyone that is impacted by the team.

• In sports, this includes administrators, secretaries, equipmentworkers, marketing people, members of the media, familymembers, fans, and supporters.

• In families, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, eventeachers and coaches.

• In business, customers, suppliers, the communities in which wework and live, and all family members.

• In government, employees, voters, suppliers, and all those whoare affected by the actions taken by the team.


This is a very expanded definition for team members, yet the list isfar from being complete. This list is intended to stimulate your thinkingand help you to become aware of the many people who are touched byyou and each of your teams.


What Is a Team Leader?

Teams require leaders to reach their goals and objectives; leaderscome in many different forms and are chosen in many different ways.Some simply surface because of their leadership qualities; others arepredetermined, such as parents. Some are hired or elected, such as thosein business and government. On some of our teams, we are leaders, onother teams, we are members, and in some situations we are both leadersand members.

Team leaders have many different titles. In sports, it is the coach;in families, it is usually Dad or Mom; in business, it is the president,CEO, or boss; in government, it is the president, governor, or mayor.These are just a few of the titles for team leaders. All team leaders havea primary responsibility to provide an environment in which all teammembers can meet their personal goals while meeting the goals andobjectives of the team.


What Is Teamwork?

Teamwork is nothing more than a group of people coming together,acknowledging and recognizing their similar dreams and goals. Thisact, in turn, acknowledges and recognizes the need for support fromone another to accomplish something that each could not accomplish aswell alone. By being an active contributing member of a team, we canaccomplish much more, much faster than being alone.


Why Team Building?

There are many philosophies and theories about why individuals andteams benefit from focusing on team building. I believe that a cohesiveteam can consistently outperform a collection of talented individuals.When team members learn to work together toward a common goal, andunderstand that personal goals and team objectives are interdependent,and actually help each other, they are really helping themselves.


What Is Competition?

Competition is what teams and individuals do when they want the samethings: they compete for them. We usually think of competition assomething that occurs in sports, where athletes and their teams competeto win championships; to determine who is the best, the strongest, themost capable; to decide who is superior.

However, all teams compete, either internally or externally.Competition occurs naturally between all living organisms that coexistin the same environment. Many philosophers and psychologists believethat competitiveness is an innate biological trait that coexists along withthe urge for survival. What does this mean? Good question.


(Continues...)
Excerpted from Even Better! by Bill Ballester. Copyright © 2013 Bill Ballester. Excerpted by permission of iUniverse, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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"About this title" may belong to another edition of this title.

Publisher
iUniverse
Publication date
2013
Language
English
ISBN 10 
1475972946
ISBN 13 
9781475972948
Binding
Paperback
Number of pages
180