POPPO'S Memory Book: A Child's Guide to Remember and S.M.I.L.E. after Loss. Written by a school counselor, this memory book helps comfort children who have experienced the loss of a loved one. Through a variety of activities in this special keepsake, children are encouraged to express their feelings, ask questions, share memories, use their imagination, and find happiness beyond the sorrow that comes with loss. For more information and special pricing offers please visit: www.mypoppo.org.
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When Jenny was little, she dressed in her favorite pink ballerina dress, and then Mommy and Daddy would take her to visit her Poppo. Every Sunday, Jenny and Poppo played together, until one day he was too sick to play. Her Poppo was sick for a very long time.
Poppo had a very, very, serious illness, and over time, the illness made it difficult for him to do the things he used to do before he got sick. He lived for a long time, but eventually, his sickness got worse and his body stopped living. Jenny felt very sad when her Poppo died.
Poppo was a wonderful grandfather and teacher. Before he died, he showed Jenny how to perform fun magic tricks, to blow really big bubbles, and to use her imagination to pretend and have fun. But when Poppo got sick, he also wanted to help Jenny understand and feel comfortable with death. He told her death was a natural part of life, and that everyone and every part of nature would eventually die. He explained to her that sometimes people can get very, very sick and die, even though they do not want to die. It just happens sometimes. Poppo did not want Jenny to feel worried or sad. He wanted to help her feel safe, and to know how much she was loved.
Jenny felt very confused by this. She told him how scared she felt, and then she asked him this very important question.
"What will I do without you?" I asked Poppo.
"What will I do without you?" I asked Poppo. I felt sad. I wanted my Poppo to live forever.
"I want you to be happy," Poppo told me.
"I want you to know I love you now and forever. I want you to always play and pretend and be my dancing little girl."
Poppo told Jenny that his body would someday die, but that he would continue to live in her heart. He also taught her not to be afraid of death, and to always remember the happiness and love they shared.
Even after her Poppo died, Jenny knew she would be safe, and that there were many people in her life who would always love and take care of her. She knew that the love she felt in her heart would never go away, even after her Poppo died.
After a long time, Jennys grandfather died. Jenny cried with her Mommy and Daddy. She really missed him. But Jenny still felt a warm glow of love inside her heart, just like Poppo said she would.
Special Love
"Special love, like the love you shared with Poppo is something we have inside our hearts all our lives," Daddy explained to me. "It helps us to learn how to love ourselves and to love other people. It helps everyone to smile, just like you and Poppo always smiled."
How can you continue to love someone whom you don't see or hear or feel, the same way you did before their death?
How can you find happiness once again, and know that your loved one is still very close?
Before Poppo died, he wanted to help Jenny understand the answers to these very important questions. He wanted her to know they would love each other forever. Poppos lessons helped her to understand this. Jenny knew his body would eventually die, but it did not mean that their love would end. Love never dies. He would always be her Poppo, and that would never change!
The love that Poppo shared with Jenny was a love that she would have in her heart for all her life. And by remembering this love, Jenny learned to love herself and to love other people too. Her happiness helps others to smile, just like she and Poppo always smiled.
And now, just like Jenny, it is your turn to try and do the same. On the next few pages, follow along and practice all the ways that Jenny learned to smile after her Poppo died. Complete all the activities, share your feelings, and know that you are very special.
Remember! When you miss the person who has died, the sadness you feel is a BIG sign that you have love in your heart.
Share your love with the world and S.M.I.L.E.
Share Memories Imagine Love Enjoy
My Loved One Has Died
Write the name of your loved one here.
Special Facts
My loved one was born on this date: ________________________
My loved one died on this date: ____________________________
We loved to do this together: ______________________________
Our favorite place to be together: _________________________
Places we went together: ___________________________________
What I remember most: ______________________________________
SHARE
Share your feelings with someone you trust.
Feeling Bubbles
When someone dies you may experience many feelings and every feeling you have is important. Sometimes your feelings may surprise you or you may have many different feelings at once. This can be confusing. Whatever you are feeling, express it through writing, drawing, or talking to someone you trust.
Color the bubbles that show how you felt when your loved one died. If the feeling you want to share is not shown, write the feeling word in one of the empty bubbles.
[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]
HOW I FELT
When My Loved One Died
Draw how your feelings showed on your face in the big bubble below.
I felt _______________________________________________________
How I Feel TODAY
Draw how your feelings show on your face now in the big bubble below.
[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]
Today I feel _______________________________________________________
Questions and More Questions
Jenny asked her parents lots of questions! She wanted to understand all that she could about her grandfather and his illness. When she asked all her questions she was very brave.
YOU MAY HAVE QUESTIONS TOO!
What are they? Write them on the next page.
"Poppo," I asked, "will you live forever?"
"What will I do without you?"
"So, Poppos in Heaven?"
"How did Poppo die?"
"Who will do mind-magic with me?"
"So Poppos spirit did not die?"
"Is Poppo with me now?"
"But I miss Poppo! Who will do mind-magic with me now?"
My Questions Are......
Talk To Someone You Trust
Sometimes, when I really miss Poppo, Mommy and Daddy encourage me to express my feelings. I ask them questions, and they try to help me understand.
It is important to find someone you trust and feel comfortable with to talk about your feelings. Can you think of people in your life you feel safe with, and you know love you very much? These are the people that would love to listen as you share all your feelings with them.
Jenny chose her parents, but there may be many others in your life that can be listeners and helpers for you. Sometimes relatives, teachers, or family friends can help you too.
Who can you talk to about your feelings? _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________
My Great Listeners and Helpers
Letters To My Loved One
Dear Poppo,
I miss you and I love you very much.
Today I went to the park with mommy and daddy. We brought Aubrey to play too. We had lots of fun.
I remember your dog Max and I know he is with you. Do you play with him?
Give Max a hug for me. I miss you both.
I love you.
Jenny
With the help of her parents, Jenny found another way to express her feelings. She wrote many letters to her grandfather. Writing to her Poppo was another way Jenny kept her grandfather close in her heart.
Sometimes, Jenny shared her letters with her parents at night before she went to sleep. Other times, she wrote her thoughts when she was playing or watching television, or when she wanted to remember. She wanted Poppo to know just how important he was and would be forever. Expressing her feelings in this way helped Jenny to feel her Poppo with her, and to know he was still there, even if she couldnt see him anymore.
My Thoughts and Words ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________
MEMORIES
Remembering keeps your loved one close.
Your memories help you to keep your loved ones close after they die. You can remember your loved ones as they were, and the many special things about them that make you smile.
When Poppo died, Jenny remembered Poppos bright smile, his blue twinkling eyes, boat rides at the lake, dancing, performing magic tricks, blowing bubbles, and pretending and playing with her Poppo.
THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO REMEMBER.
You can look through photographs, share in special traditions, listen to stories, or simply spend time in places that remind you of your loved one. Writing letters, singing songs, dancing, or simply eating their favorite meal are ways to bring your loved one close. It doesnt matter how you remember, but simply that you do remember.
Sometimes, the memories you have can make you feel sad, angry, and even confused inside. Thats okay. Dont be afraid to show these feelings too. All your feelings are important; share them with someone you trust. There are many people in your life who want to listen.
My Memories Are Special Draw or attach pictures of you and your loved one.
Sharing Memories
Talk with your family and friends who knew your loved one. Ask them to share their memories with you. Sharing memories is a wonderful way to keep your loved one close in your heart.
Who did you ask? ________________________________________
Write about the special memory that was shared with you. _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________
Who did you ask? ________________________________________
Write about the special memory that was shared with you. _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________
Special Memories
Draw a picture of a special memory below.
Special Ways To Remember
We walked along the path until we found the place where Poppo was buried. I could tell because there was no grass growing there. Mommy put a bouquet of flowers on the ground for Poppo.
When someone dies, you can do special things to help you remember. You may attend a funeral or memorial service, or do something fun like blowing bubbles or completing this memory book to help you to remember the person who has died. Thinking of special things to do can bring comfort, and help you to feel better when you are missing the physical presence of your loved one in your life.
After Poppo died, Jenny and her parents did special things to help them remember and honor him.
JENNYS LIST OF SPECIAL WAYS TO REMEMBER
· I visit Poppos grave at the cemetery.
· I share family stories about my Poppo.
· I continue to do the things I loved to do with Poppo (dancing in my pink ballerina dress, performing magic tricks, and pretending).
· I blow bubbles and send my love to Poppo.
· I write letters and draw pictures.
· I use my imagination to create, play and have fun.
· I try my best to feel happy and to share my happiness each day with my Poppo.
MY LIST OF SPECIAL WAYS TO REMEMBER
1. _________________________________ ____________________________________
2. _________________________________ ____________________________________
3. _________________________________ ____________________________________
4. _________________________________ ____________________________________
Your family can help you create your own list of special ways to help you remember your loved one who has died. Write this list together. Then, on the next page, draw a picture that shows one of the special ways you have chosen to remember.
This Is One Way I Remember
IMAGINE
Use your imagination to create mind-magic.
Mind-Magic Is Fun!
"My Poppo was always a super-duper pretender. Even when he was sick he could pretend to be anything he wanted to be. He called it mind-magic. Sometimes, he would make believe he could fly like a bird around the world. Sometimes, Poppo would make believe he was a superhero who could climb to the top of the highest mountain. He told me his imagination helped him to feel better. I could always tell Poppo felt better because he was always smiling."
When we use mind-magic, we are using our imagination. We are pretending, make-believing, wishing, dreaming, and most importantly we are having fun! Now its your turn. On the next few pages, use your imagination and dont forget to have fun!
My Imagination Is Magical
Your imagination can help you to visit places youve never been, like a faraway island or distant land.
Where would you go? __________________________________________ __________________________________________
What would you see? __________________________________________ __________________________________________
Your imagination can help you to dream about things you wish you could do.
What do you wish you could do? __________________________________________ __________________________________________
If you could have any super-power what would it be? __________________________________________ __________________________________________
My Magical Imagination
Draw what you imagine!
What Is Poppo's Very Best Trick?
You can use your imagination in another way too. Your imagination can help you to keep your loved one close in your heart after they die. Jenny learned this very important lesson from her grandfather.
"How will I know you are with me?" I asked. I did not want my Poppo to go anywhere.
"That's our very best trick," Poppo told me with a smile. "After I die, when you look into your heart you will always know I am with you. In your heart is where I will be smiling."
When Poppo got sick his body died, but his spirit did not die. Some people say that when a person dies their soul or spirit stays in the hearts of the people they love. After Poppo died, Jenny continued to feel his love in her heart. She could feel his spirit with her, keeping her company, just like he did when they could really be together.
Poppo wanted Jenny to know that he would always be her grandfather, and that he would always love her, even when she could no longer see him. He taught her how to keep him close, to feel his love, and to remember him with a smile in her heart whenever she felt sad.
My Mind-Magic!
Now it is your turn to create mind-magic! Close your eyes and imagine your loved one in your mind. Think of what it would be like if they were with you right now. Imagine you are still together. Feel your loved one in your heart, and know that they are with you in spirit and will always love you. Draw what you see or feel.
LOVE
Love yourself and others too.
Poppo taught Jenny many lessons, but the most important lesson she learned was about love. Jenny loved her grandfather very much. But he taught her how important it is to share that love with others. Poppo wanted Jenny to always feel love in her heart, to practice kindness, and to share her love with others. Jenny knew the best way to show kindness was to be respectful, to smile, and to have fun just like she did with her Poppo before he died.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from POPPO'S Memory Bookby Annie MacDonald Copyright © 2011 by Annie MacDonald. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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