How To Answer A Fool: Answering Foolish People Wisely- A Guaranteed Stress Reliever - Softcover

Carson, Marquinn

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1456768425 ISBN 13: 9781456768423

Publisher: AuthorHouse, 2011

Synopsis

This book will show you forty-six God-inspired communication principles that will teach you how to answer a fool effectively, because knowing how to answer a fool effectively and wisely will be a guaranteed stress reliever.In Proverbs 15:23 we learn,"A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth," which simply means that knowing how to answer foolish people wisely can become an art that is easy for you, rather than a struggle. Then you will be free to focus all your attention and energy on fulfilling your God-given purpose without being deceived, manipulated, and distracted by foolish people.

About this title

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

How to Answer a Fool

Answering Foolish People Wisely-A Guaranteed Stress RelieverBy Marquinn Carson Marlon Carson

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2011 Marquinn and Marlon Carson
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4567-6842-3

Contents

Introduction...............................................................................................................................................1Chapter One Justifying Your Motives.......................................................................................................................5Chapter Two When Foolish People Express Their Desires for the Wrong Reason................................................................................9Chapter Three It Ain't the First Time.....................................................................................................................13Chapter Four When Foolish People Pretend They Don't Know the Answer.......................................................................................17Chapter Five When a Foolish Person Pretends He or She Can Judge Your Ability by Your Appearance...........................................................21Chapter Six When Foolish People Encourage You to Make Decisions That Are Not in Your Best Interest........................................................25Chapter Seven When a Fool Pretends You Don't Have Enough Ability to Win...................................................................................29Chapter Eight When Foolish People Pretend They Have a Reason to Do Wrong..................................................................................33Chapter Nine When Foolish People Pretend They Can Live Your Life Better Than You Can......................................................................37Chapter Ten When Foolish People Pretend They Can Find Something Good Before They Can Find Something Bad...................................................41Chapter Eleven When a Foolish Person Pretends That Your Sense of Self-Worth Is Based on Your Ability to Avoid Making Mistakes.............................45Chapter Twelve When Foolish People Pretend the Ultimate Goal of Your Personal Choice Is to Get Their Cooperation..........................................49Chapter Thirteen When Foolish People Pretend They Can Judge the Freedom of Your Free Will by Your Status..................................................53Chapter Fourteen When a Foolish Person Pretends They Can Convince You of a Lie with a Deceptive Action....................................................59Chapter Fifteen When Foolish People Pretend They Can Criticize You for Going the Extra Mile to Reach Your Goal............................................63Chapter Sixteen When a Fool Pretends You Should Change Everything about You That Doesn't Meet Their Expectations .........................................67Chapter Seventeen When Foolish People Pretend Their Respect or Good Will toward You Is the Source of Your Future Success..................................71Chapter Eighteen When a Foolish Person Pretends He or She Can Dishonor Who You Are by Having the Wrong Interpretation of Your Action......................75Chapter Nineteen When a Fool Pretends to Know the Truth of Your Situation So He or She Won't Have to Ask..................................................79Chapter Twenty When a Foolish Person Pretends That What They Believe Determines What I Believe............................................................83Chapter Twenty-One When a Fool Pretends We Can Choose Good without Choosing Bad...........................................................................87Chapter Twenty-Two When a Fool Pretends You Are Not Smart Enough to Choose Your Own Goals and Preferences.................................................91Chapter Twenty-Three When a Fool Pretends You Have to Have Good or Bad Action in Order to Have Good or Bad Character......................................95Chapter Twenty-Four When a Fool Pretends That the Bigger Your Problem Gets, the Less God Can Do about It..................................................99Chapter Twenty-Five When a Fool Pretends He or She Can Cause You to Overreact by Selling You an Obvious Lie...............................................103Chapter Twenty-Six When a Foolish Person Pretends You Don't Have the Right to Be Proud of Yourself If You Had to Get Some Help to Win.....................107Chapter Twenty-Seven When a Fool Pretends He or She Can Downgrade Your Action to Nothing..................................................................111Chapter Twenty-Eight When Fools Underestimate Your Ability Because of Their Own Doubt and Unbelief........................................................115Chapter Twenty-Nine When a Fool Pretends You Are Using Your Gifts and Talents to Calculate Your Success...................................................119Chapter Thirty When the Foolish Pretend That High Status and Position Give Them the Right to Bend the Rules...............................................125Chapter Thirty-One When a Fool Pretends There Is Only One Way of Winning..................................................................................129Chapter Thirty-Two When the Foolish Pretend They Can Neglect Their Responsibilities Because of Your Strong Points.........................................133Chapter Thirty-Three When a Fool Pretends Your Reactions Can Only Be a Reflection of Your Successes or Failures...........................................137Chapter Thirty-Four When a Fool Pretends You Don't Have Any Physical Proof or Evidence That You Can Be a Winner...........................................141Chapter Thirty-Five When a Fool Pretends That Their Ideal about What Is Good or Bad Should Be Your Ideal As Well..........................................145Chapter Thirty-Six When a Fool Pretends That a Small Issue Should Be the Main Issue.......................................................................149Chapter Thirty-Seven Don't Blame Yourself for What You Don't Know.........................................................................................153Chapter Thirty-Eight Making Sense for the Wrong Reason....................................................................................................157Chapter Thirty-Nine Don't Blame Yourself for Things That Are Outside Your Control.........................................................................161Chapter Forty When Foolish People Pretend You Will Choose Something "Worse" before You Will Choose Something "Bad"........................................165Chapter Forty-One When a Fool Pretends What You Have to Offer Is Not Worth Anything.......................................................................169Chapter Forty-Two When a Fool Pretends a Good or Bad Sign Doesn't Mean Anything...........................................................................173Chapter Forty-Three When a Fool Pretends You Care More about Hurting Them Than Hurting Yourself...........................................................177Chapter Forty-Four When the Foolish Pretend They Can Solve Their Problems through Their Emotions..........................................................181Chapter Forty-Five When the Foolish Act Like They Can Discourage You by Strongly Expressing Their Dislikes................................................185Chapter Forty-Six When a Fool Pretends You Must Be Controlled by a Good or Bad Situation..................................................................189Conclusion.................................................................................................................................................191

Chapter One

Justifying Your Motives

The ability to justify your motives is something that you need. It is a principle that everyone must understand. In this chapter you will learn how to make yourself clear and how not to leave yourself open or in a position to be misunderstood, because a fool will misunderstand what you have to say on purpose. A fool wants to take what you have to say and substitute his or her own reason for why you said what you said, but we must not let anyone do this. We must be wise enough to recognize the deception in the conversation and quickly let the other person know that we know. By doing so, you will stop the person in his or her tracks because such manipulation only works on those who are not wise enough to see it.

Now let me explain to you what it means to justify your motives. In essence it means protecting the intention behind what you are saying or what you have said and not letting anyone misjudge your motives, thereby causing you to be misunderstood. This is how a fool will try to deceive you. The first thing he or she will do is to listen to what you have to say. Let's say you were talking to a small crowd, and you made the statement that you don't like sports or politics without justifying your motives. The first thing a foolish person is going to assume or think is that what you are really saying is that there is something wrong or bad with sports and politics, which will cause you to be misjudged and misunderstood, simply because you didn't know how to protect your motives from a fool even having the chance to misjudge your motives. To say it another way: don't leave yourself open around a fool. The statement that was made was a preference statement, not a good-or-bad statement; it is a statement of what you like or don't like, but as the speaker, you have to convey that to the people who are listening to you or run the risk of being misjudged.

There is always a foolish person waiting for you to give him or her the opportunity to misjudge you, so you have to decide whether you're going to be misjudged, not them. Make the same statements, but with completeness. Finish by justifying your motives, and don't leave yourself open; shut the door behind every preference statement you make. Here is the correct way to make your statement: "I don't like sports or politics, but that's not to say that there is something wrong with sports or politics, it's only to say that I don't like sports or politics.

That's how you justify your motives; you simply leave no room for a foolish person to misjudge your motives. So now you know how not to let your preference statements be turned into good-or-bad statements by a foolish person who is up to no good.

Chapter Two

When Foolish People Express Their Desires for the Wrong Reason

This chapter is another piece of the puzzle in knowing how and when to stop a foolish person if he or she expresses desires for the wrong reason. Now, you may be wondering how people express their desires for the wrong reason and why would they want to. If they did, how would you know? By knowing the ways of a fool and having spiritual discernment, you will always know, and you will not feel good about what is being said because the No. 1 reason that a fool will tell you how he or she feels is to try to escape responsibility. But why do they need you to escape their responsibility? It's simple. Foolish, lazy people want to feel good about escaping their personal responsibility, so they look for cosigners to go along with them to make them feel good about making poor choices. Let me explain to you how a foolish person will try to make you his or her cosigner. The first thing such people will do is express how they feel about their responsibility. They might say, "I don't feel like going to work today; I wish I could just stay in bed" or "I don't want to go to school to get my education" or "I wish I could just stay at home and watch the game instead of going to church." Now these statements are basically okay because they express the way a person may feel sometimes, but with the wrong intentions behind them they can turn into statements of deception—a clever way of trying to back out of the responsibilities of life. We as Christians must not condone anyone who is being led by their feelings to not do the things that they know are right.

So when you pick up in your spirit that someone is expressing how they feel to you for the wrong reason, this is how you should respond. We will use the same statements.

When he or she says, "I don't feel like going to work today; I wish I could just stay in bed," you say, "I wish I could stay in bed, too, but these bills have to be paid."

When he or she says, "I don't want to go to school to get my education," you say, I'm not always happy about it, either, but I have to get an education. When they say, "I wish I could watch the game today instead of going to church,"

you say, "I wish I could watch the game, too, but God is more important."

Take notice that you are not denying the way the person feels because you yourself know that you feel the same way sometimes, but you are denying the intent that could be behind the feelings that he or she is expressing.

So whenever you sense that someone is being foolish by expressing his or her desires to you for the wrong reason, simply remind the person, using the communication style demonstrated in the examples, that his or her feelings are not an excuse. It is okay to express feelings as long as a person doesn't express them with the intention of escaping responsibility.

Chapter Three

It Ain't the First Time

The principle of "It ain't the first time" is for anyone who foolishly overreacts to problems or situations—for people who act as though what happens to them has never happened to them before. For example, when rejected, the foolish will always overreact, as if they have never experienced rejection before in their life.

These people don't understand that whatever happens to them has already happened to them, because rejection is rejection and acceptance is acceptance, whichever way it comes. Now let's talk about how to respond to rejection the right way. Let's say someone gets rejected for a loan he needed to start a business, and his circle of friends asks him about the loan, and he says to them,

"They turned me down for the loan," and his friends begin to act foolish about it with joking remarks, and he replies, "Yeah, but I'll be okay. It's not end of the world, and I have been turned down before. I'll get a loan sooner or later."

Now that's a good, positive response. The part I want you to focus on, however, is when he said, "I have been turned down before. He recognized that this wasn't the first time he was rejected, and since he accepted that, he was able to use it as a small outlet to release some of the pain of being rejected and also to stay in control of his emotions. It's that simple. The scriptures say, "A man gets joy by the answer of his mouth," which means that your response or your reaction is far more important than what happens to you. So whenever it's time to give a response to a foolish crowd or a foolish person, remember to let them know that the Bible is right: there is nothing new under the sun; therefore I will not overreact.

Chapter Four

When Foolish People Pretend They Don't Know the Answer

A fool will sometimes act as though he doesn't know something in order to escape whatever he doesn't want to face up to or doesn't want somebody to be right about. This principle will help you to stand on what you know and not doubt yourself when a foolish person is acting like they do not know something that you are sure they know. It's all an attempt to throw you off balance, but you must keep your focus and convey to the foolish person that you are right. Because if you don't, you will begin to doubt yourself and become what a foolish person loves—a green and naive person—because you didn't trust yourself but rather chose to trust his dishonesty.

Now let me offer a scenario and show you how to respond when a foolish person is acting like he or she doesn't know something. Let's say you have started a new job, and you are trying to recall how to do a certain part of your job. You decide to ask a coworker whom you saw doing the same job a few minutes earlier, and he or she tells you, "I don't know."

Now what do you do? Do you give this foolish person the benefit of the doubt, or do you trust yourself? You trust yourself. Why? Because you just saw this person do what he or she is saying he doesn't know how to do; plus, the person has been on this job for a number of years. So why wouldn't he or she know? So what do you say to this dishonest, foolish person? Well, when they tell you they don't know, you pretend like you agree with them by saying, yeah right!, this will throw them off balance, then follow up with the truth by saying to them, you do know how to do this certain job.. This sounds real simple, but this is exactly the way you respond to a foolish person who pretends that he or she doesn't know. After you tell the person that he or she does know, you can follow up with reasons why you know that he or she does know.

There will be many situations where this principle will be very much needed. Because the last thing a foolish person wants to do is to be honest with a person who is right about something the fool doesn't want them to be right about. So remember to trust your common sense rather than a foolish person's lies.

Chapter Five

When a Foolish Person Pretends He or She Can Judge Your Ability by Your Appearance

Has a foolish person ever made these kinds of remarks to you before: "You don't look very smart" or "Your brother doesn't dress like he is a preacher" or "Your dog looks like he is a killer" or "You look too nice to be a drill sergeant"? Chances are you have heard a lot of remarks like these before. When a foolish person makes remarks like these to you, he or she is judging your ability by your appearance. The foolish use this tactic to try to get you to doubt and second guess your abilities.

They want to destroy your confidence by causing you to look at your appearance rather than staying focused on the truth of your ability. If they can get you to look at yourself from the outside to determine what kind of gifts and talents you have, they will have accomplished their goal. That's why it is extremely important for you to be aware of what's going on in every conversation with a foolish person. If you aren't, they will cause you to feel the way they want you to feel, which is always less than who you are. Now let me show you how to respond to those statements so that you will know how to answer a foolish person when he or she pretends he can judge your abilities by your appearance.

When they say to you, "You don't look very smart," you say, "Don't let the way I look fool you. I am very smart."

When they say to you, "Your brother doesn't dress like a preacher, you say, "Don't be fooled by his attire because he is truly a preacher."

When they say to you, "Your dog looks like a killer, you say, "Don't let his size and his visage fool you, because he's a very friendly dog."

When they say to you, "You look too nice to be a drill sergeant," you say,

"Don't be fooled by my smile or my facial expression, because I am very firm when it's time to be firm."

This is the way you answer a foolish person who thinks he or she can judge your ability by your appearance. This communication style will convey to the person that you don't judge yourself by your appearance but always by the unfailing truth of your abilities.

Chapter Six

When Foolish People Encourage You to Make Decisions That Are Not in Your Best Interest

This chapter is focused on friends and family, because they are the people with whom you will most often use this principle. Your friends and family are the people from whom you don't mind taking advice or receiving encouragement. Your friends and family are the people who should always have your best interests at heart, but the sad reality is that sometimes the people you care about the most will begin to act foolish and encourage you to make decisions that are not in your best interest. No matter how much you love them and no matter how much they love you, there are times when you must not go along with them in their foolish games and plans, because friends and family sometimes have different ways of encouraging themselves or making themselves feel better than you do.

Let's say, for example, that you are talking to a friend or a family member about some disappointing events in your life. In the past, this particular person always gave great advice or encouragement, but for whatever reason this time they begin to give you foolish suggestions like "Let's go to the bar and get wasted," or that you should lie about your coworker in order to get a promotion or flirt with other people in order to get your spouse's attention or cheat on your taxes so that you can get more money. None of these statements have your best interests at heart. So how do you respond or answer these negative suggestions? Simply say to the person, "You shouldn't want me to do those foolish things." This is a powerful way to answer them because it reminds them of how a true friend or family member is supposed to act, and this response should be repeated until your family member or friend gets the point.

CH7[ When a Fool Pretends You Don't Have Enough Ability to Win

This chapter is important because it teaches you how to protect your awareness of your abilities. You and God are the only ones who truly know what level your abilities are. There are some foolish people, however, who will pretend they know, in hopes of getting you to underestimate or underrate yourself. These foolish people will never judge you fairly but will always undermine and underrate you because they want to feel and be superior to you. If they can cause you to think that you have less ability than you really have, they can celebrate themselves as being better than you are. So we must be wise enough to recognize this deception, which is revealed when a foolish person begins to flatter himself or herself by undermining your ability. The foolish person will pretend you don't have enough physical, mental, or spiritual ability to succeed in everyday life. When the foolish begin to speak and act and treat you as though you are handicapped, this is how you answer them tactfully. "I am smart enough to do this on my own" or "I am strong enough to do [this or that] without your help" or " I am wise enough to recognize a lie when I hear one." I could give you many more examples like these, but I think you, the reader, is wise enough to get the point. So, instead of going on and on, acting as though you are not wise enough to comprehend, I choose not to flatter myself by offering a hundred examples. I choose not to undermine your sense of your own abilities for my own selfish reasons, thereby making myself into a fool.

(Continues...) ]CH7

Excerpted from How to Answer a Foolby Marquinn Carson Marlon Carson Copyright © 2011 by Marquinn and Marlon Carson. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Edition details

• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Publication date: 2011
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 1456768425
• ISBN 13: 9781456768423
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 208