The Path Less Followed: The First Steps - Softcover

Hunziker, MaEd Heather J.

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1449025137 ISBN 13: 9781449025137

Publisher: AuthorHouse, 2009

Synopsis

This is a book for people who want to improve their lives through spiritual growth. It introduces the principles of Love, Compassion, Understanding, Honor, Honesty, Humility, which the author has tested herself and found to be true. These principles are presented with simple explanations and exercises to help the individual on this rewarding journey. There are examples from the author's own experiences to demonstrate the principles. The exercises are the same ones the author has used and found helpful in her own journey. Greater peace and happiness are among the benefits that the author experienced as a result of applying these principles and exercises to her life. She also no longer takes prescription blood-pressure medication as a result of pursuing a spiritual life style. The book is designed to be the first step in understanding and starting the process of self-improvement and, thus, improving the quality of and satisfaction in life.

About this title

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

The Path Less Followed

The First StepsBy Heather J. Hunziker

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2009 Heather J. Hunziker Ma.Ed.
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4490-2513-7

Contents

INTRODUCTION...............................................................ixCHAPTER 1:THE SEVEN PRINCIPLES.............................................1Love, Compassion & Understanding...........................................2The Difference Between Judgment And Observation............................4Honor, Honesty & Humility..................................................9The End Never Justify the Means............................................12Remaining Neutral..........................................................13Separation of the "Work" and Daily Life....................................16CHAPTER 2:WE ARE ALL PART OF THE WHOLE.....................................19CHAPTER 3: DEFINING OUR WORLD..............................................23You Already Do This........................................................23Changing Our Reality.......................................................26CHAPTER 4: RELEASING THINGS NO LONGER NEEDED...............................29Actively Releasing That Which No Longer Serves Us Well.....................29Releasing Comes in Many Forms..............................................32Indications of Release.....................................................35CHAPTER 5: GIFTS / RESPONSIBILITIES........................................39Gifts/Talents..............................................................39Responsibilities...........................................................40Indirect Force.............................................................41Communication..............................................................42Teaching...................................................................43CHAPTER 6: MEDITATION......................................................45What Is It?................................................................45Why Meditate?..............................................................45Some Ideas on How to Meditate..............................................46Preparation................................................................46Meditating.................................................................48APPENDIX I: SOME PERSONAL EXERCISES........................................51APPENDIX III: GLOSSARY.....................................................59APPENDIX IV: RESOURCES/Where to Go From Here...............................63

Chapter One

THE SEVEN PRINCIPLES

The "Work" or "Path of Light" is a process of elevating the human spirit towards spiritual growth and enlightenment. Even as we go through this process ourselves, it is the intent of the "Work" also to assist anyone else who wants to raise the level of his or her own spiritual growth. We help through our examples in how we deal with life and our teachings. There are seven basic principals of the work: Love, Compassion, Understanding, Honesty, Humility, Honor, and the Ends Never Justify the Means.

This sounds easy enough, but there can be so much that it becomes a challenge. In fact, trying to live your life under these principles may not be easy. As is often said, this path is not an easy one. I would have to agree. Sometimes, it is lonely, because other people just don't understand. I know that some people think I'm a little weird and others think I'm an amazingly, gifted person. It really doesn't matter as long as I am comfortable with myself. I am fortunate in having a parent who, not only accepts my differences, but is also beginning to see that what I say and do seems to make some sense. It seems that the more people get to know me, the more they want to know about my beliefs, the reasoning I use, and my motivations. So, although it is not always understood and even less traveled, I find that this path is very rewarding to me. While reading, if you find that I have repeated some idea, it is because it is important.

Love, Compassion & Understanding

That being said, let's look at the first three principles: Love, Compassion and Understanding. These are the basis of all we do, the first three we learn, and the most noticeable of the seven principles. By "we", I mean those who are our teachers and those of us who are studying together. These principles sound so easy, and I'm sure everyone has heard these words before. After all, isn't this how we have always been asked to treat others? But, it's neither simple nor easy. Everyone has a general understanding of what each of these words mean. The definition of love that I am using here is to feeling tender affection for somebody or to show kindness to someone. Compassion means to show sympathy, empathy, concern, kindness, consideration or care for someone. One definition for Understanding is being sympathetic, empathetic, or tolerant in recognizing somebody's or something's character and situation. The kicker to these definitions is that to really, treat everyone with Love, Compassion and Understanding, one must be able to relate to people without judgment.

That means that you realize that everyone has the right to think differently than you do. It is better to realize that everyone is doing the best that he or she can, given the information that he or she has, at the moment he or she made the decision. (Note: from here on out, he or she will refer to both, even though only one is used.) There can be no guilt. Whatever anyone knows now, is irrelevant when dealing with past actions. A person doesn't know everything they know now at that time. Therefore, they cannot be held responsible for any decision they have made based on what is now known. (This, of course, does not apply to the breaking of laws to which all are accountable or deliberate malicious actions.) It would be better for you to accept them as they are. It would be better for you to be able to listen to others without judging what they are saying and without putting yourself above or below them. You may find that you end up treating everyone with neutrality, not judgment. Believe me, in today's world, this is hard to do. How often, when I think back, have I enjoyed a real bashing party? How often have I thought, that something or someone was stupid? Well, those remembrances are examples of the process of judgment. It doesn't matter if you are thinking about someone else or yourself. It's still judgment.

One of the things that makes functioning without judgment hard to do, is that we have been taught, programmed if you will, since the day we were born, to always think in terms of "Are we good enough?"; "Why didn't we do as well as someone else?"; or, "They are proud of us because we did better than "so-and-so." Those are all judgment-based statements and questions. Instead, it would be better to think in terms of everyone being the same.

What do I mean by that? I mean that we all have the potential to do and be whatever we want and to understand what we want. This concept will be covered in more detail later, in Chapter 3, "Defining Our World".

When we're carrying love, compassion and understanding within ourselves, without judgment, we are saying to the world, you are OK. That's the key right there. That's it. It's OK to, you have permission to, respond to us and treat us well. That's the one thing mystical organizations have tried to teach for thousands of years. You can be a carrier of light if you allow it to happen. What is Light? It is understanding, love, compassion, warmth, joy, acceptance, non-judgment, neutrality, and any word that has a positive connotation to it. Where do we find it? It is in every breath we breathe. It is what supports our spirit and just as we cannot survive without breath, we cannot survive without the Light. As the song many of us learned as children says, it would be better to "let your light shine".

The Difference Between Judgment And Observation

The difference between Observation and Judgment is a fine line. 'Judgment' is an area where you present yourself to be of more or of less value than someone else, a comparison of yourself to someone else, where as, 'observation 'is neutral. For example, we may observe that someone "eats by shoveling food into his or her mouth." That's an observation. Stating that the person "eats like a pig," is a judgment. Can you see the subtle difference? We can make observations in a neutral manner without letting judgment enter into the picture. However, this is not as easy as it may seem. All of our lives, we have been taught to judge or have been judged. The process of judging is done not only by others about us but also by ourselves about us.

To help us use observation rather than judgment, there are some guidelines to help us remain neutral. The first is to remember that everyone has the right to be without wisdom, assuming we consider ourselves wise. In other words, you can't always get people to think in the way you do and it's their right not to. It would be better to respect that right. Everyone has the right not to think as you do. Everyone has a different background and different rules by which he has been brought up. Everyone is doing the best he can with the information they have at the moment. He may not have all of the facts needed to make a different decision. Or, the facts and values that he has may not be the same as yours. One always does the best he can with what he knows. I don't think that anyone intentionally sets out to do the "wrong" thing. Well, not usually.

Sometimes what seems to us to be the wrong thing is actually the right thing for him at that time. For example, not many years ago doctors automatically put all women on hormone therapy as soon as a woman started menopause. But, they also recognized it would be better for those with a history of cancer not to use the therapy. It would not be the best way to help these women. So, although they considered that hormone therapy good for most, it was not good for all. (They have since researched and found more information. There have been many changes in how hormone therapy is used, if it is at all.) Again, they were doing the best with the information available at that time.

Who are we to judge? Even if you're a bank robber, you are doing it for a reason, maybe not a reason that we would agree with, but a reason, just the same. Confused? Actually, acting and living with neutrality can be hard. But, just as with playing the piano or riding a bike, with practice, it gets easier. Why would we want to live this way? Well, I find that my blood pressure stays down, the little things just don't get to me, I'm happier and calmer, and I'm at peace with myself and the world.

I also find that lot of people seem to come to me just to air out ideas or problems. It is helpful in remaining neutral as I listen. They may not want advice, but they seem to know that I will not condemn them for what they tell me. In other words, I'm safe to talk to. In my work with teachers and parents, the first step is to get people to talk to me. What can I do to help if no one will talk to me? I would be unable to do my job. And I find that many people actually have the answers. They just need to talk out their thoughts.

Remember that "hindsight" is always 20-20. That's because, when we look back, as many of us do, we do so with more knowledge and experience than we had at the time of the decision and know the result of that decision. When we try to "judge" how we handled a situation without taking this fact into account, it causes guilt. This is self-judgment or induced judgment. Instead, it would be better to ask yourself, given the same knowledge you had at that time, would you act in the same way, make the same decisions? If the answer is "yes", then it is better to quit beating yourself up about it; cut yourself some slack. It is better to remember that you were simply doing the best you could with the information you had at the time. Usually, no one I know tries to make errors or wrong judgments. I mean, I don't intentionally make a wrong decision. Do you? So, give yourself a break if you find that you made a mistake or didn't handle things as well as you would have liked, now.

When listening to someone else, or even ourselves, without remembering that he has done his best, given the information he had at the time, and saying that he "should" have done something else, effectively closes the doors to communication. Using words like "should" implies a judgment and that whatever was said or done is wrong. We would be better off starting where they are, putting ourselves in their shoes and trying to see things the way they did back then. In this way, we can remain neutral and be non-judgmental, not putting ourselves above others. On the other hand, you could just accept that they did the best that they could or realize that it seemed like a good idea at the time. I know that I have kicked myself in the butt numerous times for saying or doing something when I think back about it. However, when I remember that I was working with different facts, there cannot be any fault in what was done. So, as a friend of mine says, when you drive by a McDonalds, think of the ditty by Barry Manilow and remember that "you deserve a break today...." You have done the best you can, given the information at the time, and so has everyone else, for that matter. So, cut everyone, including yourself, some slack. I will have to admit, however, that I have found that it is much harder to cut myself slack than to cut other people slack. I am my own harshest critic. And, most people I know are the same way.

It is normal, even when listening with neutrality to want to give suggestions about what is being discussed. But this may not be what is wanted or appropriate. I have found that when listening to and conversing with someone, if I want to be able to get my ideas through, I need to be able to relate to theirs. Therefore, I have learned to Listen, Listen, and Listen. I don't talk unless I'm asked. I don't offer solutions anymore, unless asked. I used to do that all the time, acting as the problem solver. But, as my daughter repeatedly and with some irritation used to say, "I don't want solutions, I just want you to understand what I'm feeling and feel with me." From her I have learned, finally, that sometimes people just need to vent. Now, when others are willing to come to me to talk, it is because they see and feel that I am nonjudgmental, and will remain neutral. It is not necessary to judge, just listen, being an observer. I have found that people can feel this and respond to it. After they are done talking, there may be an opportunity, or not, to express your observations and possible suggestions if they want them.

I have found that sometimes they just want you to listen and that's it. If they open the door, then you can tell them what worked for you, not what they "should" do. It is always better to let the choice of action and thought be theirs, with no guilt involved no matter what choice they make. (Later, I will go into some words in the English vocabulary that it would be better not to use, and those that it would be better to use, as well as my reasons.)

I have found that when you allow judgment to enter into your life and work with others, it is very difficult, to remember that little things are just that: LITTLE. Things can get blown out of proportion and feelings can get in the way. As soon as feelings get involved, judgment and guilt get involved. It can become a vicious circle getting worse and worse, like a whirlpool or tornado. Moreover, it is hard to get out of the cycle.

Honor, Honesty & Humility

The next three principles are fairly straightforward as well, as far as what they mean. The dictionary defines "Honor" as "personal integrity, a strong moral character or strength and adherence to ethical principles". How many times have we heard the words, "moral character"? Many organizations, including scouts, churches, and schools incorporate an Honor Code into their creeds. Most people know what "Honor" is by the time they are adults. It is related to how one acts in all situations, even when no one else is watching.

The dictionary defines "Honesty" as "moral uprightness, the quality, condition, or characteristic of being fair, truthful, and morally upright". It also includes "truthfulness, candor, or sincerity." Again, this is a very familiar term. However, this is hard to do, especially when you don't want to hurt someone's feelings. For instance, imagine a female friend just got a new dress, is excited about it, and asks your opinion, what would you say if you thought it was the most hideous thing you had ever seen on her? Well, you don't want to hurt her feelings, so you can't tell her how much you hate it, but you could say something like, " I'm so glad you like it", or "I think it's great that you are so excited about it." You are not saying anything to hurt her feelings and, at the same time, are telling the truth. Sometimes you have to be creative in what you say if you are going to be truthful and yet not offensive or hurtful. This, I find, can be challenging.

Humility, according to the dictionary, is a quality of being modest or respectful, humbleness, unassuming in nature, or meek. Although these are correct, the meaning used here goes further. Humility in the "Work" also means that you occasionally do some private act to remind yourself of where you have come from or to remind yourself that, except for the gifts you were given, you could be in the same circumstances as people less fortunate as yourself. For instance, I have on occasion seen people standing on the exit or entrance ramps of the highway I was traveling when I'm taking a break or getting gas. It's obvious that they are having tough times, and one time there was even a couple who had their dog with them. In this case, I could not give them the ride they were looking for, but it was also obvious that they were in need of food. So, while getting gas, I also bought groceries, including food, such as bread and sandwich meat, their pet could eat. When I was getting back on the highway, I stopped and gave the groceries to them.

Another action of humility, for those who can remember Carol Burnett, was when she quickly tugged on her left earlobe at the end of the show when she was talking to the audience. It was not until the show was off the air that anyone knew that it was a signal to say "Hello" to her grandmother. It was not until she told a talk show host, after the show was off the air, why she had always tugged her earlobe at a later date, that the audience knew it was a signal. She was acknowledging where she came from when she was saying "Hello" through a private action.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from The Path Less Followedby Heather J. Hunziker Copyright © 2009 by Heather J. Hunziker Ma.Ed.. Excerpted by permission.
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Edition details

• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Publication date: 2009
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 1449025137
• ISBN 13: 9781449025137
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 108