Stress Can Kill!: A Problem with Modern Causes and Biblical Answers - Softcover

Valeria Davenport Th D, Davenport Th D; Valeria Davenport Th D

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1440158878 ISBN 13: 9781440158872

Publisher: iUniverse, 2009

Synopsis

Stress Can Kill! shares one woman's faith journey as well as personal anecdotes in order to illustrate how Biblical teachings can help others reduce stress in their own lives.

Valeria Davenport is a devout woman of faith who explores the doubts, fears, and perplexities she experienced while facing her own stressors to show how she ultimately found comfort and guidance in the Bible and through prayer. In an honest and self-disclosing style, Davenport includes specific examples of common stressors as well as guidelines on how to both respond to and remove these specific stressors from our lives. Davenport relies on the Bible to educate others on why:

• Worrying is the consumption definition of stress
• Reasoning is a deceptive and manipulative stressor
• Turning our focus inward can eliminate many ailments
• Dreaming up worse-case scenarios is a killer stressor
• Facing frustration with integrity will keep us calmer

For anyone concerned about the deadly capabilities that stressors have in our own lives, Stress Can Kill! provides spiritually-guided wisdom so others can learn how to spend more time developing and strengthening a relationship with God, ultimately eliminating their own deadly stressors and moving toward a more peaceful existence.

About this title

About the Author

Valeria Davenport Th.D earned her Doctorate degree and Master degree in Biblical Studies at Bryson University. She lived in Vancouver, British Columbia, and eventually moved to Brooks, Alberta, where she met her husband David. Together, they have two children, Angelique and Mathurin. Valeria is currently at work on two other books.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Stress Can Kill!

A Problem with Modern Causes and Biblical AnswersBy Valeria Davenport

iUniverse, Inc.

Copyright © 2009 Valeria Davenport Th.D
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4401-5887-2

Contents

Preface.....................................................ixIntroduction................................................xiThe Life Circle.............................................1Worry.......................................................3Reasoning...................................................9Yourself....................................................15Money.......................................................23Obscurity...................................................30Bullying And Our Choice Of Words............................36Strife......................................................42The Joneses.................................................48Go! Go! Go! - Escapism......................................55Fear........................................................62Anger/Depression............................................71A Customized Faith..........................................78Obstacles...................................................87Frustration.................................................93Conclusion..................................................99Prayers.....................................................107Helpful Scriptures..........................................109Recommended Bibles And Other References.....................113Afterword...................................................115About The Author............................................117

Chapter One

THE LIFE CIRCLE

I have provided just one of several types of life circles, yet I have found this particular one to be one that shows how and where stressors can infect a person. It also shows how we may identify where we need a tune up. There is no beginning or end to a life circle, but, we do get a few dents in our lives, and it is up to us to make the circle right again and keep it that way. This will take daily work, and I admit that on some days the work is hard, but I know that should I leave the dent unattended, someone will see it and prey on that particular weakness. The consequence of laziness is a weakened circle and an emptier life. That's not something we want to brag about. As you progress through this book, you'll find many references back to your circle which may be slightly different from mine.

Notice that all four parts are connected and rely upon each other for maximum efficiency. My prayer is that you keep your circle strong and sound every day of your life.

WORRY

Like many, I am guilty of this stressor and have paid the price from early on in my life. Worry is a unique emotion in that it can be our own personal reaction to a situation, and it can be passed on to anyone through virtually any media without that person being entirely sure what to worry about. How often have you walked into a room with the TV on, heard the tense voice of the reporter and immediately felt worry? Once we allow this stressor to completely infect us, we easily pass it on to others and in most cases without our knowledge. Of all the contagious stressors, worry seems to be the one that's airborne.

Knowing that worry is so easily and readily contracted, it is not so surprising to see the word "worry" in the Bible from beginning to end.

In 1 Peter 5:7 we read "Casting the whole of your care, [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully" (Amplified Bible).

The Lord sees that we carry our worry like a badge, and He wants us to hand it over to Him, as it is really a coat of evil. I say worry is an evil because it instantly creates fear, which creates more worry, and a deadly spiral is created. I, myself, being a longtime epileptic from a childhood fall, worried about that future day when that last grand mal seizure would come to take me away to heaven. For many years, I lived like a saint in waiting because of my worry. I would hold back on virtually anything long-term because of this status.

Worry is usually attached to the "what if" factor, just as fear is. In fact, worry is a monstrous and sometimes lifelong case of the what-ifs-those deadly stressors that fuel other stressors to give them a stronger effect.

Years ago, I learned to read my palms (a foolish thing to do in retrospect), and yes, worry was created in huge amounts. I played right into the evil one's hands. I chose to live a bitter, tiring and even resentful life foolishly based on what my palms may have said through various lines. I can laugh about it now, but it was not until I benefited from the wisdom of my spiritual director, who showed me how to nurture the fruits of the Holy Spirit within me that I stopped. I am now quite confident that the Lord saved me from myself through that one priest.

Today, I have occasional bouts of worry, but those fruits of the Holy Spirit are still being tended to. When my husband and I got married, we were determined to keep worry out of our home and not pass it on to our kids. Well, the evil one threw plenty of situations at us, yet somehow we kept our worry in check. We still feel though that our kids are off to a great start because of this resolution.

Worry starts and manifests itself inside us. We allow it to enter our inner beings by choice. If we let it, it can hinder our fruits or keep the seeds from being sown in the first place. We cannot reap what we do not sow.

Worry certainly meets the consumption definition of stress. It carries that deadly force that stress in general carries. It has the ability to affect and infect us, yet we still have trouble believing that this little word has such pure negative power. We need to remind ourselves of our own encounters with it. For example, have you ever felt sick for no reason during certain situations like a pending promotion? Have you ever felt emotionally drained? Have you ever felt that certain "I don't know why I'm worried" feeling about something that probably has nothing to do with you?

Unfortunately, worry does not seem to have a real weakness, no chinks in its armor. There's no quick phrase to counter it. "Don't worry" certainly doesn't eliminate it. As I researched for this book by talking to as many people in my church as possible, I noticed the same problem in others. I have found that any real solution to worry requires effort and often multiple attempts before the habit of not worrying takes form and the effects are noticed.

The first part of any solution would have to be goal-setting. This is because worry usually affects the unforeseen, the unexpected, and the unplanned. In my own case, it was the unplanned complications to my pregnancy, which forced me to stop work that started it all. With one less income coming into the family, worry had found a home. We then had to choose what bills to pay and what bills could wait until the next paycheck. This created a stress that was, without my knowing it, changing me and my outlook on paydays. I found my whole attitude had changed, almost to the point where it not only could cost me my life but also the life of my unborn son. Now, I thought that my worry had maxed out when I found myself evacuated to another city to save my pregnancy. I thought, okay, I'm in the right place, all is well. I could not have been more wrong.

Worry had a stronghold, and I just could not shake it. I was now in another city, well away from my support team; my husband had to take a leave of absence to mind the house and our older daughter and be ready to come out on a moments notice. My mother-in-law was in town, and her son had to spend time with her and, of course, the bills still had to be paid. My worry got worse with each day. Now we had no income coming in. This meant that there was no food and no fuel in the car to come visit me in the hospital. Worry settled in to wait for creditors and banks to call.

It was only after the birth of our son that I developed a no-nonsense approach to worry. Having been confined to bed rest and no money for TV in my hospital room, I was beginning to iron out the solution to my worries. Following the birth of our son, I would be going home, where my husband and I committed to keep worry out. On the last week of the pregnancy, I hammered out, with God's help, a viable solution, which has worked so far.

Solution to Worry

Step 1: Realize that you are only messing with yourself when you worry. No one cares that you are worrying, at least not enough to make it worth it. They may be curious, but that is it.

In Philippians 4:6-7 we read, "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus" (New Living Translation (NLT)).

Step 2: Create, set and implement a plan loaded with short-term goals aimed at eliminating the root cause of your worry. For example, consider that your root worry cause is what others may feel about you. Okay, having that identified, what is the action plan that will automatically activate once the root cause is triggered. Perhaps, you may have a set of phrases to use for the time being. Once these phrases are in use, you notice your worry decrease. Then the next goals can be set to strengthen your foothold on your peace.

Step 3: Keep your calendar handy and visible at all times. Write your goals in them. Do not be concerned about what others may think of the goals. Train yourselves so that every move is toward a task and time is not wasted. Your goals should only concern things that you can solve. (There is no use worrying about things that you cannot do anything about, so stop that, too.)

Step 4: Keep a clear mind. While on step three, it is very easy to forget that our whole body needs to be mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically fit to really tackle those goals. What worked for me was to store walk. Knowing my goals, I couldn't really shop, but I could walk around the outside aisles of the only store in Brooks (Wal-Mart), which was a quarter mile. If the weather was good, then I would go for a walk to the park with the earphones on to keep my mind clear. Regardless of which option I chose, I would run into a friend and we would gab for a bit and enjoy a worry-free conversation while the kids got some time out of the house. When doing this, though, we should try not to dump our stressors into the conversation. If we bumped into our friends with a smile, then we ought to part with a smile.

Step 5: While contending with your worries, always keep a smile nearby! If those calls from creditors do come in, they can sense your smile and suddenly the conversation changes from intimidation to a game plan discussion with your calendar at the center with your goals on it. Besides, it never hurts to smile!

Of course, for some people there may be more steps to their solution. What I have found though is that the more the steps it takes to solve a problem, the more likely the problem will get lost in the complexity of the solution. Try to keep your solutions short and to the point.

Chapter Two

REASONING

Some like to call this "justification," and it is a weirdly deceptive stressor. For an example of its deceptiveness, I find myself going back to my youth. Any person who has had to take penicillin knows that we are required to fast for one hour before taking the medicine and another agonizing hour afterward before we can eat or drink anything. Two whole hours to a young child seems like forever, so as a kid, I began to reason in a way that let my desires guide me in my decisions. I reasoned that watermelon was 98 percent water and the remainder is unrecognizable as food; therefore, it wasn't food, and I could take it with the medicine.

While such games of reason may not have had any serious effect when it came to a little watermelon, this can carry over into far bigger things, such as why it's okay to have too much alcohol in the evenings or why any habit that involves letting go of self-discipline is okay.

To reason correctly, we must use our conscious mind as opposed to our subconscious and involuntary instincts. Notice the words "subconscious" and "involuntary." They both mean in a fancy way "out of our control." If we were to allow all our decision making to occur out of our control, we may find ourselves being lead down a life path that is not good. In the Scriptures, we read

"The man wanted to justify his actions, so he asked Jesus, "and who is my neighbor?" (Luke 10: 25, NLT).

"Don't try to justify yourself before the Lord or try to appear wise before the king," (Sirach 7: 5, NLT)

These references refer to our instincts and emotions. Key partners in the way we reason. Whatever we do, we should make sure that we are in control of the words that come out of our mouth and not try to falsely reason our way into anything. These references are also well suited to the steps we need to take in addressing our reasoning ability. After all, the ability to reason is a power. Like any power, we must learn to keep it in line with the Will of God at all times, for at the slightest failure, corruption can and will happen. We have all heard the phrase "Absolute power corrupts absolutely." This phrase does not have the word "maybe" in it or even the words "slightly damaged." With power, and especially divine power, it is all or none.

Yet we all have the absolute power to reason over our emotions and instincts. So why can this be a killing stressor? Is it not a beneficial power? Consider the other side of the coin. Our emotions and instincts are equally strong abilities. They, too, have the strength to affect our lives by protecting us. Yet they can still infect us and lead us through a series of deceptions that manipulate our reasoning to a degree that can kill.

Adam and Eve and the great first deception and Jesus in the desert for forty days are classic examples of the killing force of reasoning. In the case of Adam and Eve, the devil (who can only lie, cheat, and deceive) used the reasoning of Eve by mixing in deception. He went to Eve and asked her, "did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any tree in the garden?" Eve responded, "Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden ..." Then Satan went to work when Eve told of the one tree that they were not to eat from lest they die. Satan said, "You won't die!" (With contempt as if to say, "Who has ever seen anyone die from fruit!) Now he appeals to her emotions to guide her reasoning. "God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it (true) and you will be like God (not true) knowing both good and evil." The seed for false reasoning was planted. For we read, "the woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious and she wanted (emotional reasoning) the wisdom it would give her. Of course, the end result was that "they suddenly felt shame." (Nowhere near the wisdom she had been deceived into wanting.) In the end her reasoning had guided herself and her husband down the wrong path. (Gen. 3:2-13, NLT.)

The desire for more is in the very core of our beings; that is what the evil one is preying upon. In the case of Eve, she failed to suppress that desire and reasoned her way into what she thought she wanted. What Eve saw and just had to have led her to disregard the logical commandments, put aside her own obedience to God and make a decision that lead her farther from God. It is safe to say that when we just have to have something (for no reason except that we want it), and it takes a little extra reasoning, it is probably something that we are not meant to have because it will take us farther away from the Will of God.

Consider the temptation of Christ in the desert. Jesus, just prior to the start of his ministry, went out to the desert to be tempted by the devil. For forty days and forty nights he fasted and became very hungry. During that time, the devil came to him and said, "If you are the son of God (trying to stir up emotions) tell these stones to become loaves of bread." During the three tests, Jesus said "the scriptures also say, you must not test the Lord your God." and "get out of here Satan! For the scriptures say you must worship the Lord your God and serve Him only!" (Matt. 4:1-10, NLT.) Notice the use of God's inspired Word and Jesus's own well considered reasoning. Jesus does not allow his emotions or pride to intervene. He sees the devil's false promises for what they are and answers with scriptures.

These are classic examples that show how our reasoning can kill us or sustain us. Reasoning is a stressor that can manipulate us in the most negative way, causing us to suffer a death like the evil one succeeded in causing with Eve and failed to cause with Jesus. The difference between the two was how the approach to reasoning was used.

Solution to Reasoning

Step 1: Think slowly! Any question can have a good or bad result. Thinking slowly about your answer keeps your reasoning clear. We have to contend with the same devil that Eve and Christ did. The consequences are the same: bad (road to death) or good (woo hoo!).

Step 2: Don't snap an answer to a question using the hockey player method. That's the type of answer that has a lot of "uh's" and "um's" in it as if you're fishing for words. Take the time to really consider your words before you answer. Better yet, use scripture to form your answers. It says in Proverbs 14:18 "Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing" (NLT). Your words have healing power, so your approach to them must be well considered. (Continues...)

Excerpted from Stress Can Kill!by Valeria Davenport Copyright © 2009 by Valeria Davenport Th.D. Excerpted by permission.
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Edition details

• Publisher: iUniverse
• Publication date: 2009
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 1440158878
• ISBN 13: 9781440158872
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 136