Your Spacious Self: Clear the Clutter and Discover Who You Are - Softcover

Stephanie Bennett Vogt

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0981877184 ISBN 13: 9780981877181

Publisher: Hierophant Publishing, 2012

Synopsis

This is a fantastic book that is simple, practical and incredibly soothing. The author's premise is that particularly in this time (a time when are lives seem to be lived at warp speed, a time when we are bombarded with unending tasks and choices, a time of psychological and economic dislocation), it is time to slow down, clear a space for oneself. This is a book that shows you how to clear the clutter from you home and from your soul. This is a book that teaches you to revel in your own spaciousness, a place of stillness and joy.

Our clutter, writes Vogt, becomes like another member of the family that we feed, house and lug around. She shows us that it's not our stuff, but the holding on to it that creates a force field of "stuck-ness" that clouds our perceptions and paralyses our lives. Clutter is not just the junk spilling out of the closet. It is anything or thought that prevents us from experiencing who we truly are. Clearing is not a tedious exercise of throwing away, but a gentle journey of slowing down, letting go and cultivating self-care.

Included are daily tips and meditations and a de-cluttering checklist.

About this title

About the Author

Stephanie Bennett Vogt is New England's leading space clearing expert. She brings over 35 years of experience to the teaching and consulting practice she founded in 1996 helping homes and people come into balance. Stephanie teaches her clearing programmes at centres worldwide and writes a column for the Huffington Post and is a #1 top-selling course contributor for DailyOM. Stephanie lives with her husband of twenty-six years in Concord, MA.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

YOUR SPACIOUS SELF

clear the clutter and discover who you are

By STEPHANIE BENNETT VOGT

Hierophant Publishing

Copyright © 2012 Stephanie Bennett Vogt, MA
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-0-9818771-8-1

Contents

Preface, 
Acknowledgments, 
Part I – Awareness: Tune In, 
1. Clearing with Awareness, 
2. It's a Jungle ... in Here, 
3. What Is Clutter, Exactly?, 
4. Physical Clutter, 
5. Mental Clutter, 
6. Emotional Clutter, 
7. Feel to Heal, 
8. Tune In, 
Part II – Intention: Shift the Focus, 
9. Clearing with Intention, 
10. In Tend, 
11. Act As If, 
12. Be Grateful, 
13. Bless and Release, 
14. Enough, 
15. Prioritize, 
16. "Re"-Mind, 
Part III – Action: Go Slow to Go Fast, 
17. Clearing with Action, 
18. Choose Ease, 
19. Start Where You Are, 
20. Move Something, 
21. Place, 
22. Put Away Every Day, 
23. Sort, 
24. Sweep, 
25. Embrace, 
26. Delete, 
27. Do It, 
Part IV – Non-identification: Be the Observer, 
28. Clearing with Non-identification, 
29. Accept, 
30. Allow, 
31. Detach, 
32. Disappoint, 
33. Don't Identify, 
34. Allow Mystery, 
35. Do Nothing, 
Part V – Compassion: Feel Good Now, 
36. Clearing with Compassion, 
37. Rest, 
38. Nourish, 
39. Support, 
40. Refresh, 
41. Spend Time Alone, 
42. Ask for Help, 
43. Lighten Up, 
44. Forgive, 
Part VI – Wisdom: Reveal Thy True Self, 
45. Clearing with Wisdom, 
46. Shift Happens, 
47. Make a Plan, 
48. Fine-Tune, 
49. Join with Others, 
50. Take Stock, 
51. Think Big, 
52. Start Over, 
An Ongoing Journey: Ten Truths and Ten Keys, 
Appendix 1. Clearing Plan—Weekly Worksheet, 
Appendix 2. Clearing Circle—Steps for Creating and Maintaining a Clearing Support Group, 
Appendix 3. Clearing Circle—Six Sample Meeting Agendas, 
For Further Inspiration, 

CHAPTER 1

CLEARING WITH AWARENESS

The busy mind is so grateful to stop and taste eternity.

—Joan Borysenko

While I waited, bleary eyed and cranky, I proceeded to do what I always do whilethe coffee brews: I took the clean dishes out of the drainer, one at a time, andput them away.

On this particular morning, I experienced something I had never consciouslyobserved before: In the sixty seconds that it took me to stack the last of thepots and pans, I noticed that the cobwebs in my head had cleared, and my moodwas better. A lot better. The fog that I was carrying—and my spirits—had lifted.

What is this? I haven't even had my cup of coffee!

There it was: a spacious infusion resulting from a housekeeping ritual that I'verepeated every day for most of my adult life; an experience realized andharnessed by simply being aware.

The truth is, I experience a swell of spaciousness every time I put the dishesaway or hang the laundry up to dry or fold it. I feel the shift when I gatherthe empty cups and glasses in my living room or on my desk at the end of theday. Or when I address an annoying toleration, like replacing a light bulb orsewing a button or fixing the squeak in the door. I've devoted hours to writingabout how simple actions can transform the energy in our living spaces, ourlives, and our world.

I notice that every time I create an experience for my students to try at homeor blog about ways to cultivate a clear home and spacious life, I myself amaffected by the elegant simplicity of the practices I'm writing and teachingabout.

What I didn't expect as I got deeper into my writing is that I would beresponding to something more urgent: a distress call from people—women mostly—yearningto relieve the stress they feel; hungering to connect with somethingdeeper and more meaningful.

Everywhere I go I see a longing for simplicity but a loss of where to begin; adesire for balance and nourishing self-care but no idea how to cultivate it.There is no time to juggle it all, let alone clear the things and thoughts thatcaused us to feel so overwhelmed in the first place! The chorus of unease thatI'm hearing is a series of notes that sounds a lot like this:

* I'm overwhelmed. I have no time. I can't see straight or hear myself think.

* I'm so envious of people who are able to get things done.

* I have no idea what I love anymore.

* Slow down? You've got to be kidding.

* Where do I begin?

It's no surprise that our fast-paced lifestyles pack a wallop to the system.Technologies evolving at lightning speeds are making it possible for us tocommunicate as never before. We are assaulted by information all the time andhave limited time to process even a fraction of it. Ironically, the very systemsthat are designed to simplify our lives seem to complicate them even more.

Add the noise swirling "out there" to the internal, chaotic struggles going onwithin, and you get fried circuits, a constant triggering of the fight or flightresponse, and a cascade of stress chemicals coursing through the system.

I wanted to write a book that cuts through the noise; one that could charm thepart of the mind that is spinning out of control somewhere in "overwhelm La-laLand"; a book that creates the tiniest peephole of quiet, yummy spaciousnessthat not only expands with our awareness but can be felt—at the deepest level; abook that delivers a palpable experience of ease in one minute flat.

Your Spacious Self is that book.

Whether you are a superorganized neatnik, a hopeless clutterbug, a nonstopmultitasker, a cautious beginner, an experienced professional, or a curiousbystander—welcome! This book is for you.

CHAPTER 2

IT'S A JUNGLE ... IN HERE

As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.

—Henry David Thoreau

Here's what I'm wondering:

Are you wearing something right now that you don't love, doesn't flatter you, ordoesn't fit perfectly (yes, including underwear)? Do you groan or cringe everytime you walk into your home or office? Do you wake up in the morning worryingabout something? Do you feel guilty when you take time to do something foryourself?

That was just the warm up. Here's what I really want to know: Did any of thesequestions elicit a physical sensation of any kind? An eyebrow raise? Constrictedbreathing? A gulp or a nervous laugh? An impulse to cringe, manage thesituation, or bolt?

Were you aware of a change in your energy level? Were you aware of how the roomfeels? Were you aware of yourself being aware?

Welcome to my world of clearing!

IT'S NOT ABOUT THE STRESS OR THE STUFF

No one would argue that most of us do too much or have more possessions than weneed. Or both. With our lives swept up in a swirl of attachments, worry, andendless, mechanical "doing," our minds become fuzzy on what stays and what goes,what matters and what doesn't. As humans, it is in our nature to experienceclarity and spaciousness all the time. The problem is that we lose focus, getoff balance, and forget how.

So how do we dial it back or even begin to reduce the noise, release the stuffthat doesn't serve and support us, and connect with that which makes our heartssing?

One minute at a time. In present time.

No matter how minuscule the task or effort, the fact is that clearing anythingconsciously and gently, as this book teaches, creates an energetic opening—aspaciousness—that will work on you slowly and surely to soften your attachmentsto things, beliefs, and outcomes.

Whether your clutter challenge is the stuff spilling out of the closet or thenoise spinning around in your head, or both, here's what I know for sure—distilledto its bare essence:

* Clutter (and chatter) is not the problem.

* We do not need fixing.

* Without awareness, there is no clearing.

Let me explain.

In the end, it is not about tackling the unsightly messes, the boxes of whoknows-whatmildewing in the basement, or the clothes that don't fit.

It's not about the mountain of mail, the emails that invade your inbox, or thepile of medical bills that the insurance company refuses to cover.

It's not about the car that needs new tires, the crazy-ass housemate who won'tturn her music down, or the neighborhood dog that barks all night.

Nor is it about "fixing" yourself.

It's not about the despair you feel over the dishes that no one bothers to washand put away, the to-do lists that get longer by the second, or the fact thatyou have zero time for yourself.

It's not about the hopelessness you feel, your inability to say no, or the fearof someone discovering your dark secret.

Clearing is not about any of those things. It is how ... you ... relate ...to ... them.

It is the space between the problem and the solution where the real juice is,where the real clearing happens. And the only way to release what isn't workingfor you is to enter that sometimes-scary zone called feeling.

Feeling the overwhelm, resistance, attachment, guilt, sadness, worry, despair,shame ...

Feeling it all—without judging it as good or bad or taking it personally.

IT'S NOT ABOUT FIXING

We do not need fixing. The core of our being is not broken. We humans are simplyout of touch with our true selves and out of balance. And, by extension, ourhomes and world are out of balance because we are. Not the other way around.

When you can allow feelings to arise in all their messy glory without fixing orjudging or personalizing, that is when the clutter you experience "out there"—inyour home and life—magically melts away.

No matter what your clutter challenge is, as you practice clearing in this way,you'll begin to notice some shifts taking place in your life. Who knows whatthat might look like for you. It might start as a tiny peephole of space thatwasn't there before. An ah-ha. A kindness. A quieter dog. A surprise check inthe mail. Less junk mail. Fewer pounds. A job offer. Fewer buttons gettingpressed. Better sleep. More energy. More joy.

More you.

More real, spacious you.

CLEARING IS A JOURNEY

To the degree that you can see clearing as an adventure—a Hero's Journey, ofsorts, that will take you places within yourself that you've never experiencedbefore—here are some ways to gain the most from your experience.

INSERT AWARENESS

As you probably already know, or will soon discover, clearing anything has asneaky habit of pressing our buttons and bringing up what I affectionately callthe "weather." Many of the lessons in this book are intended to gently producethis emotional weather—on purpose—so that you can directly experience what yourholding patterns look like. The Clearing Practices and the open-ended statementsin the Clearing Journals are designed specifically to pinpoint and "needle"areas of stuckness, limiting beliefs, and resisting patterns in your life sothat you can name them, feel them, and let them go—for good.

SLOW DOWN AND SIMPLIFY

If you are a take-charge, "doing" machine, the practices in this book might takea little getting used to. Don't be fooled by their simplicity. If the slow-dripmodel offered in this book feels grossly inadequate next to your Mount Everestof stress and stuff, take heart. Literally. The heart knows. The chattering,grasping mind—what the Buddhists call the "monkey mind"—is not equipped to dealat the level that is required.

It will help a lot to set clear boundaries: Limit the time you spend on eachlesson and practice; stop immediately and exercise self-care whenever you feeltired and hungry. Drink a lot of water, as clearing is very dehydrating. Set atimer if you need help managing your time and energy level. Most of all, keep itsimple and follow your "knows."

REFLECT AND RELEASE

Writing down your experiences (dreams, synchronicities, ah-has) is one of themost powerful ways I know to acknowledge and mark the shifts that are occurringin your life as you clear, especially when it feels at first like not much ischanging.

As one of my students shared: "I have a hard time having my journal by my side,taking myself seriously enough to do the lessons. Today something clicked. Iwrote and wrote. All the questions leading to one answer—It's a way out!"

Start your journey with a brand-new journal, notebook, or blank book. Use it tocomplete the daily contemplations, set intentions, integrate key principles,explore questions, gather your thoughts, and brainstorm ideas.

Best of all, when you use it especially at the end of each chapter (or day) todownload, vent, wonder, noodle, integrate, reflect upon, off-gas—anything thatis going on for you—you will be releasing loads of mental and emotional clutter!

SUPPORT THE JOURNEY

In this journey, there are two things you can almost count on: First, there isno way to predict what will happen as you clear; and second, no matter how goodyour intentions may be, if there is a monkey mind lurking in your head space, itis easy to fall off the wagon, get discouraged—or plain lost.

For that reason I am including these reminders to help bring you back. Writethem down in your journal or on a Post-it note. If you can remember to adoptthese guiding principles as part of your daily practice, I can almost guaranteethat you will clear more stress and clutter than you ever imagined possible.

* Be Curious. Enter your life with wonder and curiosity. Pretend that you knownothing. Be willing to be pleasantly surprised.

* Allow Silence. Silence creates openings and opportunities to feel. Don't beafraid of it.

* Invite Mystery. There is no way to predict what will happen. Accept mystery inyour life as a legitimate state of being.

* Take Your Time. Clearing is a journey to be lived, not a task to be completed bya certain deadline. Go as slowly as you need to, but keep moving. When you arerushed, vital connections are lost.

* Stop and Feel. The daily practices will open you up to new information. Noticeand allow emotional weather to arise without taking it personally.

* Don't Identify. Most of what you'll be feeling is stuckness that comes from thepast, from other people, and from your (and other people's) living spaces. Theweather will always pass to the degree that you don't make it "yours."

* Have Fun. Don't take yourself or anything that happens too seriously. Being lessattached to an outcome will make it easier to clear; it will raise your energylevel, expand your perspective, and lighten your load.

CHAPTER 3

WHAT IS CLUTTER, EXACTLY?

As long as a man stands in his own way, everything seems to be in his way.

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

It starts with an eye roll and a nervous laugh that suggests, You don't evenwant to know what I have lurking in my basement.

This is the usual reaction I get when people ask me what I write and teachabout. Some even get so nervous that you'd think I was going to send in a SWATteam to bust them on the spot for even having stuff.

Conversely, if my response elicits a glazed or bored look, I can pretty muchguess that this is a person who cannot relate to clutter, either because shedoesn't suffer from physical excess at all or is too busy to notice that she hasany.

If, however, the mention of clutter is met with prickly resistance, a wave ofemotional charge, a hollow stare that points to deep pain and shame, then I'mreally interested. This is the kind of "clutter" that gets my attention—and allmy "special forces teams" bearing massive and gentle amounts of love andcompassion.

No matter what your housekeeping habits and lifestyle predilections might happento be, if you live in a body that gets out of balance, thinks thousands ofthoughts a day, feels pain and loss and fear from time to time, or gets caughtup in worries of the moment, you've got clutter.

MANY FACES OF CLUTTER

As you can see from the sample of comments below, clutter shows up in manyforms. It usually shows up in overlays of physical stuff, mental chatter, andemotional charge. Can you guess which is which?

"I have tried so many ways to clear my home—life coach, junk removal, niftycloset systems, sweat and tears, and I usually end up again in a frozen state ofclutter and disorganization. My moods are horrible when dealing with my stuff. Iget angry at everyone, although I know deep down it is not their fault."

"I struggle with busyness ... always somebody wanting something: time, energy,money, etc. And I nearly always accommodate the request, wanting to be the 'goodgirl' and wanting to be liked.... However, I always end up feeling like thereis nothing left for me—time, energy, or money."

"I have lifetimes of projects. Why do I have so much material for so manypossible projects that never get finished?"

"My self-sabotaging brain is relentless."

"I have been feeling irritable, anxious—just not right, not myself. It has beenvery difficult and painful."

"I haven't had anyone over to the house in years. I am so ashamed of how badthings have gotten."

"I feel overwhelmed ... [embarrassed, sad, unrealized, guilty, trapped,weighted down, scattered, strangled, stuck, blocked, distracted, paralyzed,anxious, like a failure, hopeless, exposed, vulnerable ...]"

Can you see yourself in any of these? Do any elicit even the tiniest flinch ofself-awareness?

If so, you have just discovered the secret doorway to living clear.

CLUTTER REDEFINED

Clutter, first of all, refers to anything that gets in the way of experiencingyour most spacious self. It is visible and invisible; it is any thing or thoughtthat makes you feel off center and rattles your cage; it is the limiting beliefsthat cloud who you are; it is stuck energy.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from YOUR SPACIOUS SELF by STEPHANIE BENNETT VOGT. Copyright © 2012 Stephanie Bennett Vogt, MA. Excerpted by permission of Hierophant Publishing.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Edition details

• Publisher: Hierophant Publishing
• Publication date: 2012
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0981877184
• ISBN 13: 9780981877181
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 224