Restreaming: Thriving in the Currents of Retirement - Softcover

Craddock Jr., William S.

Softcover

ISBN 10: 089869003X ISBN 13: 9780898690033

Publisher: Church Publishing Inc, 2017

Synopsis

Working with the metaphor of a kayak paddling in a new, downstream current of retirement, prominent Wellness expert Bill Craddock offers an array of provocative reflections as a way to invite the reader to envision new opportunities, new
relationships, new ways of being. The primary purpose of these reflections is to entertain, edify, and to prepare those anticipating retirement or actually retired with gentle yet intentional paddle strokes for guiding their life (kayak) into their later
years.

About this title

About the Author

After 23 years as a business executive, WILLIAM S. CRADDOCK JR. worked with Trinity Church, Wall Street, in the development and management of The Clergy Leadership Project from 1991 until 1995. For the next 5 years, he served as Director of The Cornerstone Project, a ministry of the Episcopal Church Foundation.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Restreaming

Thriving in the Currents of Retirement

By William S. Craddock Jr.

Church Publishing Incorporated

Copyright © 2017 William S. Craddock Jr.
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-0-89869-003-3

Contents

1. Preface, 
2. The Kayak, 
3. Balancing Life, 
4. Morning Dawning, 
5. Silent Undercurrent, 
6. Turning Points, 
7. Downshifting, 
8. A Sense of the Sacred, 
9. Adaptation, 
10. Joy, 
11. The Deep Current, 
12. Sweet Spots, 
13. Fear, 
14. Vehicles for Relationships, 
15. Cross-Training, 
16. Letting Go, 
17. A Rhythm for REP, 
18. Going with the Flow, 
19. Being Aware of the Present, 
20. Keeping Busy or Keeping in Touch, 
21. Seafood Gumbo, 
22. Center of the Universe, 
23. Living Streams, 
24. Running in the Park, 
25. The Love Field, 
26. Anticipatory Emotions, 
27. Contemplation, 
28. Radical Amazement, 
29. Working Out, 
30. Decluttering, 
31. Silence and Solitude, 
32. The Japanese Garden, 
33. In His Hands, 
34. Humility, 
35. The Mirror, 
36. Life Cycles, 
37. The Snow Leopard, 
38. Planning for Change, 
39. Some People's Special Ways, 
40. Rip Currents, 
41. Fully Alive, 
42. Pursuing Unanswerable Questions, 
43. If Not Now, Then When?, 
44. Legacy, 
45. Mountain Tops, 
46. Randomness and Patterns of Life, 
47. Unity, 
48. Life Mastery Seminar, 
49. Aged Out, 
50. Guns to Sailboats, 
51. Gardening, 
52. The Process, 
53. Mrs. Massey, 
54. Memory, 
55. First Love, 
56. Seeking Wisdom, 
57. Down Times, 
58. La Baguette Brothers, 
59. Pilgrim People, 
60. Play, 
61. Hope vs. Optimism, 
62. The Good Man, 
63. John, 
64. Geezers to Classics, 
65. Walking with Wisdom, 
66. Controlling Direction and Speed, 
67. Gratitude, 
68. Being Withness, 
69. Dust to Dust, 
70. The Paradox of Mortality, 
71. Afterword, 
72. Acknowledgments, 

CHAPTER 1

The Kayak

Imagine that you are in a kayak floating gently down a cool, clear stream. The kayak is much more stable and balanced than a canoe — flexible, agile, swift, and easy to steer with its two-bladed paddle. When approaching rapids in a canoe, one is anxious to avoid the "Vs" in the stream — telltale signs for submerged rocks. The swift current propels the canoe quickly through the white water. With the one-bladed paddle there is only limited control of direction and speed. In a kayak rapids are approached with much more confidence since one can maneuver in and around the rocks and actually "play" in the turbulent waves and eddies.

As we begin our journey, embrace this kayak metaphor and approach the whitewater challenges along the way with confidence that you are in a stable, agile, and flexible self that will not only survive but thrive on this journey. Your fears are mitigated and possibly diminished by your balanced approach and adaptive perspective. There are companions along the way in their own kayaks, floating down, negotiating the rapids and rocks on their own journeys. The swift current of time will carry you through difficult and challenging obstacles. Stay alert and attentive to the deep undercurrent that may guide you along in God's providential ways of being. Enjoy the ride!

A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.

— John Steinbeck

CHAPTER 2

Balancing Life

The kayak is known for its balance — even the word "kayak" is a palindrome, a word that is the same when spelled backwards. A kayak looks like a palindrome — the bow and stern are almost identical and one can often only tell the front from the back by the alignment of the seat. Segments of our stream of life are quiet, placid, slow-moving. Other parts are challenging as we are surrounded with chaotic white waters. Our journey will have a balance of both contentments and challenges.

As we enter retirement, a critical key is to craft a life that is balanced — not too much "taking it easy" but not too much "staying real busy." Shifting from a work pattern of "nine-to-five" with its demands and expectations to a retirement pattern with almost no structure can be frightening. In the first few months of my "restreaming," I began to realize that I could not just drift along in the easy, comfortable current of homeostasis. I needed to find a balance between contentment and challenge. I was eager to engage in the life around me and find ways I could give back to others and to my community.

Recent studies indicate that a moderate amount of stress (called eustress) lights up our brain circuits and focuses our attentions and awareness of life around us. We are at our best when engaged in an array of external activities, projects, and relationships, and also taking "time out" for solitude and reflection.

Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.

— Thomas Merton

CHAPTER 3

Morning Dawning

Morning dawn happens when the sun is less than six degrees below the horizon and the rays of sunlight silently and slowly scatter across the sky. There is a pristine and sacred stillness in these early moments of solitude.

In the very early morning, the only conversation is with myself and with God. In younger times in my life, there was the chatter of children, time commitments, and worries about work, but now, in retirement. ... ah, yes, the silence that invites reflections into a deeper sense of being!

Imagine the shape of the opening day and wonder where you will find yourself in it. Floating in the gentle current of your journey stream, you may become aware that you will be directed by an array of choices, moment by moment. Every time a choice is made, your life, your identity, your relationships will be changed. So what choices, what decisions will you make in the morning dawning that align with your deepest passions, that will spring fresh from the Word?

Morning has broken, like the first morning, Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird. Praise for the singing! Praise for the morning! Praise for them, springing fresh from the Word!

— Eleanor Farjeon

CHAPTER 4

Silent Undercurrent

The light went out. I was scuba diving deep in a cold, dark limestone cave in Florida, alone, when my underwater flashlight was crushed by the pressure of eighty feet of water. As a twenty-year-old college student on a spring fling, I was stupid and reckless to be diving into an underground cave with a fresh water river coursing through the limestone. The water had been crystal clear as I eased through the mouth of the cave, admiring the slippery, fresh-water eels darting through little openings and crevices.

When the light went out, I somehow didn't panic. I knew that if I was very still the river current would gently take me to the mouth of the cave and to the light of the outside world. In a few seconds, I could see the cave's opening and the sun's light shining through the water. I was safe, alive, relieved, and strangely humbled.

As I reflect on this foolish experience of my youth, I think about the importance of being still and letting God's unseen but powerful "current" carry me forward to the light of Life. At other times in my life, I have experienced this deep and silent undercurrent that has swept me along in God's providential ways of being.

Be still, and know that I am God!

— Psalms 46:10

CHAPTER 5

Turning Points

It was just a casual question. I was standing in the kitchen of a good friend's home at her dinner party when I asked if she could recommend some recent theologians and their writings. I was in my early forties. I had family responsibilities with a wife, three daughters, their schools and activities. I had business commitments with financial obligations and employees whose livelihood depended on me.

Consciously, I wasn't aware that I was searching for a way to "get away from the rat race" and shift careers. But deep down I could sense a faint but growing passion for a deeper understanding of my identity and my relationship with God.

She looked straight at me and replied, "Why don't you read the Bible?"

I laughed nervously, not really sure where she was going with this question.

Her follow-up question was "Why don't you sign up for EfM?" EfM, or Education for Ministry, is a four-year Episcopal learning certificate program in theological education, based upon small-group study and practice.

Two months later I walked into my first EfM class. It was a group of ten people of all ages and walks of life. I quickly realized that this community was radically different from the business groups and civic organizations I had previously experienced. These people were authentic, intimate, and seemed to possess an emotional maturity and a devotion to God. I was deeply touched and humbled to be in their company.

After completing the four years of EfM along with considerable soul-searching discernment, I was able to leave the business world and begin a meandering, challenging, and rewarding career with the Episcopal Church. Yes, it was important to have enough money to make ends meet but more important to seize the opportunity to make meaning in other people's lives. I was given the wonderful opportunity to become a meaning-maker more than a money-maker.

It may be superficial to reflect on one episode and claim it was a turning point in my life, but, upon reflection, my casual question in my friend's kitchen "kick-started" a major shift in my life and that has made all the difference. Everyone has significant turning points (forks in our streams) that send us in new directions. Retirement is a significant turning point offering opportunities to move in new directions with new attitudes, new relationships, new dreams.

To exist is to change; to change is to mature; to mature is to create oneself endlessly.

— Henri Bergson

CHAPTER 6

Downshifting

When my oldest daughter was beginning to learn to drive, I bought an old blue MGB convertible. It had a manual transmission. When she was about to turn sixteen, I took her to a large parking lot every day for several days and we practiced shifting with the manual transmission. There were four steps in the downshift sequence:

1. Take foot off the gas pedal.

2. Push clutch down to the floor.

3. Shift stick to next lower gear.

4. Ease off the clutch while slowly pressing the gas pedal.

It took a lot of patience with some jerky moments of clutch-popping, before she got the hang of it. Downshifting is proven to be an efficient and safer way to slow down the car without overusing the brakes.

In our retirement years, we are encouraged to "downshift" too. Social scientists have used this terminology to describe a social behavior in which individuals shift to simpler lives with more balanced time for leisure, for building relationships, for pursuing new interests. Downshifting as a concept suggests a gradual slowing down using a "lower" gear.

Just as my daughter had to practice in a large parking lot how to downshift, as we enter our retirement years, we will need to practice downshifting and in a metaphorical way follow the four steps in the downshift sequence. It will involve a variety of behavioral and lifestyle changes but if approached with practice and patience, these changes will be gradual, moderate, and in the long run, life-giving. We will be able to slow down our lives and make the mornings last.

Slow down, you move too fast You got to make the morning last. Just kicking down the cobble stones Looking for fun and feelin' groovy.

— Lyrics by Simon and Garfunkel

CHAPTER 7

A Sense of the Sacred

A person should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Quiet, still, silent, and yet deep with expression — those were the swirling feelings as I stood in the Rothko Chapel in front of fourteen massive black paintings with hues of deep blue and maroon colors. Time was seemingly suspended and there was a profound experience that surpassed or exceeded the aesthetic and drew me into an intimate "non-place" of authentic spirituality.

My wife and I had been in Houston to make a difficult visit with a friend and, on the spur of the moment, decided to go to the Rothko Chapel, a nondenominational octagonal building in a middle-class suburb. We discovered that this little chapel was a holy place open to all religions and belonging to none. There were several benches for meditative seating and many were filled with visitors from various ethnic backgrounds. As we entered the stone chapel, there was a startling sense of the sacred.

Mark Rothko, an American painter of Russian Jewish descent, had moved through a series of phases and art movements over his life. In his later years, he expressed his intentions to "make art as an adventure into an unknown world and relieve modern man's spiritual emptiness by favoring the simple expression of the complex thought." He wanted to create a space of human consciousness that transcends specific history and culture.

As I sat on a bench quietly staring at these large blocks of dark colors, I was overwhelmed by the feeling that these paintings were somehow windows into my deepest thoughts and soul. The luminous colors on the large, rectangular panels provoked an array of human emotions and a sense of the sacred.

CHAPTER 8

Adaptation

In retirement, we may perceive ourselves as "old dogs" with no flexibility or inclination to take on new tricks. When presented with new situations, we are sometimes reluctant or slow to leave our "comfort zone."

There was a moment in the first week after I retired when I really felt awkward and, frankly, embarrassed. Somewhat lost, I was wandering through the aisles of the local grocery store looking for various items on a long list my wife had given me. Jim, a good friend I have known for years, was also cart-pushing with a handful of coupons. When he saw me, his face broke into a broad, self-assured smile.

Jim had retired a few years ago and seemed to know the grocery store landscape like the back of his hand. He knew of my recent retirement and must have seen the lost and embarrassed look on my face as I stumbled my way through the aisles. He laughed, took my cart, and guided me through the store picking up listed items with efficient ease. After checking out, we shared a cup of coffee and talked about the awkward, fish-out-of-water feelings of early retirement. Over the past year, I have adapted to a new rhythm and no longer feel embarrassed about not being "at work" in the middle of the day. Also, I am pleased to know my way around the grocery store and can even keep up with the wad of saving coupons.

A major contributor to our health and well-being in our later years is our ability to adapt to the shifting sands and swirling streams underneath our kayak. To negotiate the rapid and chaotic changes in our lives, we need to be alert, agile, and adaptive — continually pursuing our best options, modifying our behavior to "fit better" in our new environment. There are habits and routines to give up and better ones to begin.

Too often we fall back on habits, attitudes, and relationships that have worked well in past experiences. How we respond to the forces of change will depend on our willingness and capacity to adapt.

I left the woods for as good a reason as I went there. Perhaps it seemed to me that I had several more lives to live and could not spare any more time for that one.

— Henry David Thoreau

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Restreaming by William S. Craddock Jr.. Copyright © 2017 William S. Craddock Jr.. Excerpted by permission of Church Publishing Incorporated.
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Edition details

• Publisher: Church Publishing Inc
• Publication date: 2017
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 089869003X
• ISBN 13: 9780898690033
• Binding: Paperback
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 96