How do we talk about death? With reluctance, it seems. While we are fully aware of death on a social level, for example witnessing violent killings on television, we have become increasingly shy of communicating about death on a personal level. For example, while a general bookshop is crammed with cheerful and informative books about pregnancy and birth, in comparison, the number of general or self-help books on death and dying is negligible. Off the screen few of us will have witnessed a death or seen a corpse. Death has become frightening and unfamiliar. But, we are being forced as individuals and as a society to pay more attention to the issue because as medical science becomes ever more sophisticated, we are living longer and our deaths are becoming more protracted. The number of people over 65 in the UK and US will increase by one-third in the next ten years. Therefore we need to inform and prepare ourselves better so that we can take more control of what is likely to be the most challenging and demanding phase of our lives. By dealing with dying and death in an open, honest and practical way this book seeks to address the confusion and the contemporary taboos and denial around it.
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Julia Tugendhat is a family therapist and the author of Living with Loss and Grief, Sheldon Press 2005; The Adoption Triangle, Bloomsbury; and What Teenagers can tell us about Divorce and Stepfamilies (Bloomsbury). She is vice-president of the British Association for Counselling and Therapy.
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