Beyond Blame: A New Way of Resolving Conflicts in Relationships - Softcover

Kottler, Jeffrey A.

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0787902497 ISBN 13: 9780787902490

Publisher: Jossey-Bass, 1996

Synopsis

Focuses on the only party in a conflict that we have any control over: ourselves Conflict is an interactive process--you cannot look at a person who makes life difficult for you without also looking at yourself. While blaming others may lead to short-term relief, it often escalates conflicts and produces long-term damage. And with conflict we must first understand the problem and then take responsibility by changing our own roles. Beyond Blame presents specific advice on conflicts in love, conflicts at work, and what to do when conflicts cannot be resolved.

About this title

About the Author

JEFFREY A. KOTTLER is professor of counseling and educational psychology at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. Kottler is an internationally recognized authority in the area of human relationships, and the author of thirteen books, including the highly acclaimed On Being a Therapist (1993), Compassionate Therapy (1992), and The Compleat Therapist (1991), all from Jossey–Bass.

From the Back Cover

Conflict is an unavoidable part of life. Everyone has at least one relationship that is in conflict, whether it′s with a family member, a co–worker or boss, a teacher, a friend, or a lover. And while it is common to blame others for the conflict, this type of strategy usually makes things worse. Conflict, says Jeffrey A. Kottler, is an interactive process—you cannot look at a person who makes life difficult for you without also looking at yourself. While blaming others may lead to short–term relief, it often escalates conflicts and produces long–term damage. Kottler shows that to contend with conflict we must first understand the problem, then take responsibility and change our own roles. Kottler explores the patterns of conflict in our lives and tells how to identify the unresolved issues within us that contribute to recurring problems. Beyond Blame presents specific advice on conflicts in love, conflicts at work, and what to do when conflicts cannot be resolved. Through many examples and helpful exercises we learn how to confront the interactions that arouse our deepest fears harness emotional pain and use it as a motivating force for constructive change take responsibility without feeling the need to blame others say no to guilt identify the positive functions of conflict as a releaser of tension, a promoter of growth, and more.

From the Inside Flap

Conflict is an unavoidable part of life. Everyone has at least one relationship that is in conflict, whether it′s with a family member, a co–worker or boss, a teacher, a friAnd, or a lover. And while it is common to blame others for the conflict, this type of strategy usually makes things worse. Conflict, says Jeffrey A. Kottler, is an interactive process—you cannot look at a person who makes life difficult for you without also looking at yourself. While blaming others may lead to short–term relief, it often escalates conflicts and produces long–term damage. Kottler shows that to contAnd with conflict we must first understand the problem, then take responsibility and change our own roles. Kottler explores the patterns of conflict in our lives and tells how to identify the unresolved issues within us that contribute to recurring problems. Beyond Blame presents specific advice on conflicts in love, conflicts at work, and what to do when conflicts cannot be resolved. Through many examples and helpful exercises we learn how to∗∗ confront the interactions that arouse our deepest fears∗∗ harness emotional pain and use it as a motivating force for constructive change∗∗ take responsibility without feeling the need to blame others∗∗ say no to guilt∗∗ identify the positive functions of conflict as a releaser of tension, a promoter of growth, and more.

Edition details

• Publisher: Jossey-Bass
• Publication date: 1996
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0787902497
• ISBN 13: 9780787902490
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 248