God I Feel Modern Tonight: Poems from a Gal about Town - Hardcover

Catherine Cohen

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0593318331 ISBN 13: 9780593318331

Publisher: Knopf Publishing Group, 2021

Synopsis

Tragicomic verses from the award-winning comedian and millennial renaissance woman.

Catherine Cohen, the one-woman stand-up chanteuse who has electrified the downtown NYC comedy scene in her white go-go boots, has been posting poignant, unfiltered poems on social media since before Instagram was a thing. A self-proclaimed self-obsessed millennial on the prowl with her beaded bag, she ponders guys who call you dude after sex, English-major dreams, true love during the pandemic, and other weighty matters in these captivating short lyrics. I wish I were smart instead of on my phone, Cohen confides; heartbreak, / when it comes, and it will come / is always new. A Dorothy Parker for our time, a Starbucks philosophe with no primary-care doctor, this poet and rising megastar is a welcome new breed of everywoman--a larger-than-life best friend, who will say all the outrageous things we think but never say out loud ourselves.

About this title

About the Author

Catherine Cohen, a native of Houston, Texas, is a comedy sensation who has a residency at Joe's Pub and hosts a weekly show at Club Cumming in NYC; she also cohosts the popular podcast about dating, boys, and sex, Seek Treatment. She has been featured in The New York Times, Vogue, and The Village Voice, and was named Best Newcomer at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2019. Her many film and TV credits include a role in Michael Showalter's The Lovebirds and Season 3 of High Maintenance on HBO. Follow her while you're young @catccohen on Instagram.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

poem I wrote after I told you I was empathetic

I go to the CVS on 14th & 8th
and you’ve asked me not to contact you anymore
one time you were having a smoothie like it was 1998
and there was nothing I could do about it
your jawline is so perfect that I cannot stop
telling you to kill me even though you said please stop
asking me to kill you
a leaf just fell outside my window
remember when I tripped on the dance floor
and that guy who always talked about Ibiza
called me a fat whore?

I should have said I’m a leaf
I’m a leaf like I was in a play
like I was in something bigger than my body
I can’t tell if my therapist is cool or just has short bangs
 
 
poem I wrote after I tried to write a tweet about sparkling water

I’ve got a disease where I haven’t watched
an entire feature film since the aughts
do you like how I said “aughts”?
you don’t see that every day!
I’ve never been to a sex party
but one time I made fun of this girl
for bringing deviled eggs to an event
and then I ate six of them.
humiliation, satisfaction,
a long walk home in spring.
I love sex and I love before it—
the double vodka soda leg touch
Is it possible to miss everything at once?
 
 
poem I wrote after I had the strangest urge to
confide in dear friends beneath starlight

I just took a pregnancy test to feel alive
and all I got was piss on my hands
I don’t think I’d take my daughter
to get her nails done
if I were a mother
she can do that with her friends
if she wants
I’d like to have kids at 35
so I can start wearing graceful linen sacks
and calling everyone “darling”
I’d like to wear lipstick
and lean on a built-in
bookcase
and tell you I like Helen Frankenthalther
and did you know that’s her painting
on the Renata Adler novel I told you to read
the one I never finished
because I needed to have sex
with someone who lived on
the Upper West Side
can you grab some ice?
I like ice in my wine

Edition details

• Publisher: Knopf Publishing Group
• Publication date: 2021
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0593318331
• ISBN 13: 9780593318331
• Binding: Hardcover
• Number of pages: 80