Sometimes I see myself lying beneath the water, staring up through the fingers of a hand, spread across my face, over my mouth and nose. At other times, I see a pair of eyes staring furiously at me; eyes that want me dead; eyes that look straight through me as though I don't warrant the space I take up. In the back of my mind, I keep telling myself, if I'm not better next week I can always commit suicide. Life for Linda Caine should hold no fears. As a contented wife and mother, she should have everything to live for. Yet blackness has started to leak into her thoughts. Images flash through her head leaving her stunned and breathless. On the face of it, there is no rational explanation for the way she feels. Linda believes there is something malign inside her. But in the back of her mind a voice tells her over and over again that everything will be OK. When it finally gets too much, she can always simply die. 'How shall I die if that time comes? I need to know these things. They have to be planned.' It must look like an accident. She will deliberately drive off the road on her way home from her weekly shopping trip. After all, who commits suicide with a load of groceries in their car? The raw and powerful journey that Linda takes with her psychotherapist Robin Royston to discover what lies at the heart of her depression will leave you shocked. The secrets in her African childhood and adolescence are buried so deep that to reveal them may destroy her completely. Nothing is what it seems, no-one is above suspicion. Together Linda and Robin race to unravel the clues, before it is too late. Out of the Dark is Linda Caine's remarkable and uplifting story, from the agonies of mental breakdown to the painful piecing together of the past that was vital for her survival. Both her courage and Robin's persistence during that process show the power of the human spirit at its most indomitable and inspiring.
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