Talk Less, Say More: Three Habits to Influence Others and Make Things Happen - Hardcover

Dieken, Connie

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0470500867 ISBN 13: 9780470500866

Publisher: Wiley, 2009

Synopsis

Talk Less, Say More is a revolutionary guide to 21st century communication skills to help you be more influential and make things happen in our distracted, attention-deficit world. It's loaded with specific tips and takeaways to ensure that you're fully heard, clearly understood, and trigger positive responses in any business or social situation.

It's the first book to deliver a proven method to master the core leadership skill of influence. Talk Less, Say More lays out a powerful 3-step method called Connect, Convey, Convince (R) and guides you in how to use these habits to be more influential. This succinct book solves your modern communication issues in today's demanding, distracted world at a time when interaction skills are plummeting.

Communication is the single greatest challenge in business today. It takes just 3 habits to conquer it. Talk Less, Say More will help you achieve more with less. Less wordiness. Less tune-out. Less frustration. You'll gain more time. More positive outcomes. More rewarding relationships.

About this title

About the Author

Connie Dieken is the country's foremost Fortune 500 leadership communication coach, an Emmy® Award–winning former television news anchor, and an inductee of the Radio/Television Broadcasters Hall of Fame. She is the founder and President of onPoint Communication, where she has guided thousands of leaders from organizations like Apple, Olympus, and McDonald's to be more influential and achieve positive results.

From the Back Cover

"Talk Less, Say More is packed with powerful advice to get your points across and make things happen in today's time-pressed world. Connie's forward-thinking, actionable communication shortcuts can elevate anyone's game."
―Bruce Carbonari

Chairman & CEO, Fortune Brands

"Connie Dieken's three-step strategy is a smart, practical guide for business leaders and others who want to create a high-performance culture. It's an important, powerful book on how to master communication in the 21st century."
―Tom Swidarski

President & CEO, Diebold

"Thanks to Connie's communication expertise, she makes it easy for anyone to transform from a good communicator into an excellent one. Her three simple principles are based on real-world experiences and demonstrate the power of a strong communicator."
―David Lingafelter

President, Moen Incorporated

"Connie Dieken is a true communication virtuoso and a genuine phenomenon. She is on a mission to elevate our ability to communicate. Talk Less, Say More should be required reading for all leaders and emerging leaders. It can instantly transform the way people respond to you, giving you the power to deliver brief, clear messages that influence the world."
―Robert Johnson

Managing Counsel, McDonald's Corporation

From the Inside Flap

Talk Less, Say More is a revolutionary guide to 21st-century communication skills to help you be more influential and make things happen in our distracted, attention-deficit affected world. It's full of specific tips and take-aways to ensure that you're fully heard, clearly understood, and will ignite positive action in any business or social situation.

You'll achieve more with less. Less wordiness. Less tune-out. Less frustration. You'll gain more time. More positive outcomes. More rewarding relationships.

Whether you're a business leader, emerging leader, or salesperson, you need to persuade others to succeed. This book will get you there. It will help you cut through distractions, demands, and information overload to get real results.

Author Connie Dieken coaches leaders to communicate with purpose. She'll help you instantly gain more power and influence while spending less time being tuned out.

With this book's fast-paced, no-nonsense style, you'll discover Connie's Connect-Convey-Convince® methodology. These three powerfully simple habits will help you:

• CONNECT with anyone to instantly capture their undivided attention

• CONVEY and nail information without overloading or confusing

• CONVINCE anyone to take the action you want and feel good about it

Communication is the single greatest challenge in business today. Talk Less, Say More will help you reach your A-game in interpersonal communication, giving you more power to change minds and inspire remarkable results―while talking less.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Talk Less, Say More

Three Habits to Influence Others and Make Things HappenBy Connie Dieken

John Wiley & Sons

Copyright © 2009 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-470-50086-6

Chapter One

Why Connect?

Attention Management

Engage or Be Ignored

Does this sound familiar? You're sharing an idea in a meeting when a sinking feeling washes over you that no one is paying attention. A quick scan of the room confirms it. Some people are distractedly thumbing BlackBerry devices under the table. Others have dashed out to take phone calls. Still others are fidgeting with text messages. The few who are not ignoring you are so impatient that they cut you off and talk over you.

That's what happened to David, an emerging leader at a global consumer product company. It was happening in everyday conversations, but it really upset him when it occurred during a presentation.

David was puzzled, thinking what went wrong? He'd spent endless hours preparing for his big moment-gathering information, confirming facts, and painstakingly creating dozens of difficult slides. He had immersed himself in preparation. Yet, when he stood in front of his audience to deliver the message, he lost them at hello.

David experienced the most common communication breakdown facing business professionals today: he failed to connect. He didn't manage his audience's attention. As a result, he had no chance to convey his message so they'd clearly understand it, or convince others to make decisions and take action.

Chances are this has happened to you today, in a conversation, a phone call that wasn't returned, or even an ignored e-mail. In this chapter, you'll discover the first step for communicating at your highest performance level in a distracted, attention-deficit world. You'll learn how to capture people's hearts and minds so you don't lose their attention or drive them to distraction.

Make It a Habit

Have you noticed that some people are natural connectors? They seem to attract attention like magnets. Why? The world's top communicators make connecting a habit.

The difference between the masters and the rest of us is that they've learned to make connecting automatic-they do it every time, with every person. They make engaging people and managing their attention a priority.

Perhaps you have the gift-this power to draw attention. If not, don't worry. Connecting is a learnable skill. It's not like singing ability. You can learn to be an A-list connector even if you've spent your whole life skipping this step and ending up ignored or tuned out.

Connecting is the ability to engage and manage people's attention in today's busy world. It's changed profoundly. It's no longer enough to make contact. Now you must give people what they want and value in order to earn their attention, or they'll tune you out. Connecting used to be a "nice to have" competence, but it's now a make-or-break skill. That's because there's been a monumental power shift in communication. The listeners now hold the power. It's as if they hold the remote control and you're just one of many TV channels. They have options, so if you want to be Must-See TV, you must connect smartly.

Today's Make-or-Break Skill

The people you're communicating with can zap you at any moment with their internal remotes, lured away by more appealing distractions such as e-mail, text messages, cell phone calls, or Web surfing. People have become so impatient in our fast-faster-fastest world that they don't even wait for you to finish a sentence-they cut you off and talk right over you.

Our attention-deficit world also encourages people to disconnect from in-person conversations:

Have you ever been talking with someone when their cell phone rings and they choose to answer it and leave you hanging?

Has the person in the next cubicle ever shot you an e-mail instead of walking over to talk to you?

Are people keeping you at arm's length with e-mail and text messages instead of returning calls or talking face-to-face?

Blame the lure of instant gratification. Think about it: we're now conditioned to get what we want, pronto. For example, there's GPS, speed dating, instant messaging, quick weight loss surgery, spray tans, ten-minute whitening strips-the list is endless. You don't even have to pay professional dues anymore, with shortcut shows like American Idol around to catapult you to the top. We've become a shortcut society.

That means you have to win people over in a hurry as attention spans shrink. It's vital to connect with people on their terms. So how do you do this? Simple: Give people what they want and value right up front. That's my definition of smart connecting: Give people what they want and value so you keep their attention.

Biggest Blunders: Self-Absorption and Aimless Schmoozing

Think of a time when you failed to engage someone. Why did you fail to connect? There are countless reasons. Among them, perhaps you:

Took too long to get to the point

Chose the wrong method

Didn't focus on the person

Failed to grasp their true resistance

Misjudged what they wanted or valued

Lost your head and came across badly

Sugarcoated a subject or demoralized someone

Weren't specific enough

Used a one-size-fits-all approach

All of these scenarios cause tune-out in today's short-attention-span, self-absorbed society. What's the solution? Give people what they want and value, quickly. If you simply zero in on what matters most to your audience, they'll reward you by paying attention. Like Tom Cruise in the movie Jerry Maguire, you'll have them at hello.

Now that you realize connecting is critical in our instant-gratification society, it's time to start putting this attention-grabbing rule to work so you can advance toward conveying important information and convincing people to act. The first section of the book will focus on smart connecting strategies and techniques that you can start using today to manage the attention of your audience, enabling you to perform at your highest level and make your ratings soar.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Talk Less, Say Moreby Connie Dieken Copyright © 2009 by John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Edition details

• Publisher: Wiley
• Publication date: 2009
• ISBN 10: 0470500867
• ISBN 13: 9780470500866
• Binding: Hardcover
• Language: English
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 176