The Black Woman's Guide To Black Men's Health - Softcover

Collier, Andrea King; Edwards, Willard V.

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0446697729 ISBN 13: 9780446697729

Publisher: Little, Brown & Company, 2003

Synopsis

Studies show that black men are more likely to seek medical attention, follow a healthy diet and take prescribed medications if there is a woman in their lives. In short, black women are the key to saving their man?s lives. The first of its kind, this guide is packed with valuable info, advice and personal stories from celebrity and non-celebrity women about their men?s health issues. It's divided into chapters covering key health topics that affect black men, such as certain cancers, obesity, heart disease, diabetes, stroke, Alzheimer?s disease, mental health, substance abuse, HIV/AIDS and violence against young black men. The book provides strategies for building health partnerships within the home and community and each chapter covers a specific health topic.

About this title

About the Author

Andrea King Collier is a freelance journalist and a national healthcare consultant. She writes and peaks frequently on various topics. Willard K. Edwards is a practising internist at a Baltimore hospital.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

The Black Woman's Guide To Black Men's Health

By Andrea King Collier Willarda V. Edwards

Warner Wellness

Copyright © 2007 Andrea King Collier and Willarda V. Edwards, MD
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-446-69772-9

Chapter One

Getting Started

If we are paying attention, we are usually the first to notice when something, even if it is "a little something" is wrong with the men in our lives. We know when he "favors" one side or the other when he walks, because of hip or back pain. We almost always are the first ones to notice when he gains or loses weight. We know when he's not quite himself. As we mentioned earlier, studies show that men who have women in their lives are healthier and live longer than men who are single and isolated.

Even though we have a long way to go before we get straight As on our approach to our own health, we do seem to be doing slightly better than our men. Even with issues of ability to pay for medical care, or access to places to get care, women seem to be better at interacting with their health care providers. Why?

THE MESSAGES OUR CULTURE SENDS

There are many reasons why our black men are not taking the lead on their health care. When we think about why this is, we have to look at the way they have been socialized and the messages that we send them. Margaret Aguwa, DO, and the chairperson of Family and Community Medicine in the Michigan State University College of Osteopathic Medicine, has developed great relationships with her male patients over the years. Dr. Aguwa says, "From all my years of practice, the thing I could detect in men's faces and demeanor is the apprehension. They are apprehensive about being in the doctor's office, about answering questions about their bodies, and about being poked and ordered around. They are even apprehensive about the instructions and recommendations, even simple recommendations like eating healthy and exercise." Dr. Aguwa says she thinks that it is that apprehension that prevents our men from expressing symptoms and concerns associated with their health and well-being, mostly about taking better care of themselves.

Jean Bonhomme, MD, head of the Black Men's Health Network, says that part of the problem is that black men fear being mistreated in the medical system. There are stories of people of color being mistreated, treated with substandard care, or treated as if they didn't exist, so many men avoid health care at all costs. And sadly that choice indeed has a high cost for many of our men who get late diagnosis and treatment of illnesses that could take their lives prematurely.

As a society, we build high expectations of superhero strength of black men. The message that we send our boys and men is that they have to be strong, no matter what. We expect them to push themselves. Our culture tells our men that they aren't really sick until they are doubled over in pain. You will read many stories in this book of men who did not seek out care and treatment until the pain became too much to bear. The pain was what told them that maybe they should get some help. The other thing we know is that men and women get different messages about the medical system and when they should seek out care. Women are more accustomed to dealing with doctors and getting the needed attention for ourselves and our children than men, who mostly show up for medical attention in a crisis situation.

WHY IS THE MEDICAL EXPERIENCE DIFFERENT FOR WOMEN?

Let's look at a woman's interactions with doctors. When we are born, we are on a level playing field when it comes to our health. These days most black boys and girls are delivered by a medical system of some kind. It could be an obstetrician, it could be a nurse midwife. From there, black boys and girls are probably seen by a pediatrician or a nurse in a clinic, who monitors their growth, keeps them up to date on their immunizations, takes care of their ear infections and rashes, and calms down their anxious parents.

Then around adolescence something happens. Children of all ethnicities start seeing the doctor less. They've had their immunizations. They don't get earaches. And they tend not to be that sick. Between the tween and teen years (ten to eighteen), most youth, both male and female, are getting physicals only in order to participate in a school activity or are being seen for an injury from sports. So in fact, during those early teen years, a boy may actually be seen by a doctor or nurse practitioner more often than a girl who is not active in sports.

Of course there are exceptions. Both boys and girls who have chronic illnesses, such as juvenile diabetes, or asthma, which is a huge problem among our black boys and girls, may be seen more regularly to manage their conditions.

Many young black women have their next interaction with a doctor once they become sexually active, if they are planning on using prescription birth control methods, or if they think they have developed an infection or a sexually transmitted disease (STD) that has symptoms. For these reasons, they head to the doctor or to a clinic. Then the next big event that brings a woman to her doctor is pregnancy. Well, this is the true fork in the road for males and females when it comes to their health. There is no event like childbirth that requires a male to seek out medical attention. A man doesn't need a doctor to prevent him from becoming a father or to become one.

The American Academy of Family Physicians says that where doctors usually see women in their peak childbearing years, men don't usually come in for a physical unless their jobs require it, or until they hit their forties or fifties, if then. And if the man is coming in for the first time at that age, you can almost bet that it is at the "gentle encouragement" of a woman in his life. Some men say they got taken to the doctor or hospital kicking and screaming, but they went.

Through watching their fathers, grandfathers, uncles, and buddies, black men actually learn to ignore the messages their bodies are telling them. They learn bad habits that can last them a lifetime.

A Harris study of over 4,000 men and women funded by the Commonwealth Fund says that three times as many men as women don't have doctors. And they aren't getting screened for life-threatening illnesses. The study says that men put off going to the doctor because they are not comfortable discussing their health issues. They tend to show up for medical attention when they are in so much pain or discomfort that they can't ignore the symptoms anymore. And at that point, it could be too late.

Ronald Bishop, MD, is a family medicine doctor who talks to black men about their health on a regular basis. "I think that the state of health for black men is due to lack of early education. We need to get them to understand the value of health care," he says. "They don't understand that what they do in early years will be a reflection of their health when they get old." Dr. Bishop suggests that women keep hammering home the message that almost every disease is either preventable or treatable, if it is caught early. He says this is one of the reasons why it is so important for black men to develop a dialogue with their doctors.

Dr. Bishop recommends an annual physical for all his male patients - at bare minimum, as a part of good health maintenance. He says that the younger they start with this routine maintenance the better. "I like to get them started at age thirty," he says.

By flipping the script on the way our men interact with health care providers, we can help them get the jump on many life-threatening diseases. A man who knows that he has high blood pressure or high cholesterol can make big changes with our help.

That said, the big question is how do we do it? How do we get the men in our lives to break old habits and take better care of themselves? It is risky business. Often the efforts we make to help are viewed by the men in our lives as a desire to have more control over them. It can become a power struggle between couples and among family and friends.

One adult daughter of a father who was neglecting his health says that trying to get him to take care of himself became very tense. "He hadn't been to the doctor in years, not even for a physical." She says it became a painful battle. "One day he just put me in my place and reminded me who the parent was, and who was the child. It hurt my feelings."

You may have even had these conversations within your own family. They can be exhausting for everyone, and can result in him digging in his heels. Being the health support system for black men who would rather avoid everything around their health can be a pretty thankless job. But as Deborah Roberts, a broadcast journalist and wife of Today show weatherman Al Roker, says, "I might be viewed as a nag, but I will own that if it keeps him around for me and our children."

We have to keep reminding them that we are doing this for their health and well-being. Sometimes these conversations will spin out of control. They become about everything else, from unfinished house projects to overdrawn checking accounts. Stay on target and keep these conversations focused.

BE INFORMED ...

Sandra Gadson, MD, is the president of the National Medical Association (NMA), and a nephrologist. She says that education is key. The NMA works hard to bring health education materials and campaigns to people of color, as do many other organizations and agencies. Make it your mission to use some of the learning tools available like magazine articles, health books, health features on television, research on the Internet, and sessions sponsored by local health agencies to be more informed about health and health care. Ask any bookstore staff, and they will tell you that black women are buying and reading more books than ever before. But they will also tell you that although we do buy some self-help books, we're not buying a lot of health books. If you want to be a positive source of health information for yourself, your family, and, your friends (and each of us should be) then you have to read about, listen to, and participate in the information gathered around health and health care for the men in your life and for yourself.

We are not suggesting that you become a doctor, or a health care warden. We are suggesting that you gather and share information that will help you navigate the medical waters for your family and your circle of friends. The experts call it health care literacy, but it's just being knowledgeable about how his body works, how your body works, and what is available to keep them working as well as possible, for as long as possible. If you read magazines, and there is a great story on hypertension, cut it out. Tell people what you read. If Tom Joyner is promoting his Take a Loved One to the Doctor Day, then put your husband, your dad, your play uncle, and everybody who won't go on his own into the car and take them to the doctor. If Essence or Ebony is doing a feature on how to cook healthy without losing the flavor and enjoyment of food, try the recipes and share the ones that work with your friends, families, and co-workers. If you see an article in the newspaper about cardiopulmonary resuscitation classes in your town, get a few friends together and take the class. You could receive information that would save someone's life someday. The Internet is a source of wonderful information. Bookmark credible Web sites that offer sound health information. We mention good Web sites all through this book and there is a comprehensive list in the resources section. Think about forwarding fewer singing, dancing duck e-mails and send more important health information on how your friends can make lifestyle changes that can pay off big for their whole family. In a matter of a few clicks you can reach all the men you care about with a reminder to get a colorectal exam. We both keep reading files of health information from various sources and add to them constantly. More important, we share the information with others who need it.

Take the time to find out what is available in your community. Know where the clinics and hospitals are. Know where the support services are and how to access them. Invite health service agencies in to talk to your church, your college, or your civic organizations. Invite health care providers to talk to the staff at your job, or at your man's job.

Another piece of good advice is to never draw negative comparisons. The worst thing you can say to a man when you are trying to convince him to make a lifestyle change is to make a comparison between him and someone else - especially if it is not a flattering one. Restrain yourself. It almost never does any good and probably causes hard feelings. If his father smoked all his life and died of lung cancer, it probably is not a good idea to get in your man's face and tell him that he's going to end up just like his father. Instead, try another, more positive approach. Tell him what he means to you and the rest of your family. Share with him how his health worries you and your children. Tell him that you simply don't know what you would do without him. Offer to be of assistance, instead of insisting on taking control. Let's face it, ladies, we sometimes have control issues. There is often a thin line between helping out and taking over. Sometimes we feel that it is just easier to take over, but the goal is to create an environment where he is in control of his health and you are in control of yours.

The best approach seems to be offering to help. If he says he's too busy to make an appointment to see his doctor, then offer to make the appointment for him. If he has trouble keeping up with his schedule, then take a little time to put his appointments on a calendar for him, or post everybody's health care schedule on the refrigerator. And if it takes knowing the calendar as well as or better than he does, to get him there on time, then do it. In doing the writing and research for the book, we talked to countless women who love and care for busy men. These are women who don't take no for an answer. Some have gone as far as clearing their husband's schedule to make room for important screening and diagnostic tests, follow-up visits, and even surgery, if it is necessary.

Often it is not totally about the schedule. But the schedule can be yet another excuse for not moving forward. By offering to help him carve out time to take care of dental appointments, time at the gym, visits to the eye doctor, or even much needed downtime to reduce his stress, you can really make it happen. Helping him make changes does not need to be a big pronouncement. Ladies, we all know that some of the best successes happen with the subtle, quiet gestures. If you want to help a man make lifestyle changes that are sustainable over time, maybe it is better to creatively start adding vegetables and fruits to the menu at home. There is no need to say, "Today I'm throwing out all snacks, or I'm never frying chicken again," unless you want to have a real fight on your hands. Instead, if you are the person who cooks the meals and does the grocery shopping, just plan accordingly. Send him off to work or to school with fruit and bottled water. Be creative in how you prepare food. If it tastes good, and is flavorful as well as nutritious, you will probably get a lot less resistance than if it tastes like a blend of rubber, paper, and grout.

Slow and steady is the best approach when dealing with most health issues, especially when you are talking prevention. The worst thing you can do is read this book and get all motivated to do it all - Today! The habits we are talking about changing in our black men's lives were developed over a lifetime. When it comes to lifestyle issues, they may have been developed and practiced over many generations. If nobody in his family ever went to the doctor for any reason, you have to provide education and information gradually, in order to get him to see the value in having an ongoing relationship with a doctor. Instead of taking on everything, pick one thing to target, then chip away at it, a little at a time. It could be persuading him to get a complete physical so that he can have a better idea of his overall health status and things he needs to work on. It might be helping him address what you suspect to be a bout of depression. He may have put on a few pounds that are affecting his health. If he starts to feel that you are trying to "fix him" and all that is wrong with him, we can almost assure that you won't "fix" anything. What you probably will do is put a strain on your relationship.

The goal here is not to take over his health, but to help him to take control of it. Work on getting him to sit down with you to decide what he wants to deal with first. Maybe his sleep apnea is bothering him and keeping him from getting a solid eight hours of sleep. Or he may be suffering from a nagging toothache. If it is something that he has decided that he is ready to consider tackling, you will have more success in helping him. We want you both to think of this as a health partnership.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from The Black Woman's Guide To Black Men's Healthby Andrea King Collier Willarda V. Edwards Copyright © 2007 by Andrea King Collier and Willarda V. Edwards, MD. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Edition details

• Publisher: Little, Brown & Company
• Publication date: 2003
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0446697729
• ISBN 13: 9780446697729
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 352