Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Troy, Unincorporated
By FRANCESCA ABBATETHE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO PRESS
Copyright © 2012 The University of Chicago
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-0-226-00120-3Contents
Acknowledgments...................................................................................xi[Chorus:] Everything is half here.................................................................xiii[Psyche's Song:] Praise me, I told the water lilies, for I am half-invincible.....................3[Narrator:] Of eighth grade.......................................................................4[Criseyde:] How sadly my friends and I............................................................6[Pandarus:] Troilus I said we're just dumb boys you know..........................................8[Troilus:] Sniffly weather, the sky all prologue..................................................10[Criseyde:] In those days arrows were very magic..................................................12[Psyche:] On the walls, the usual Americana.......................................................14[Pandarus:] We made a sand woman on Harrington Beach..............................................16[Cassandra:] The halo—no mere incandescence.................................................21[Narrator:] The afternoon grew taller when a boy on Halsted.......................................23[Criseyde:] Like the friend following you.........................................................25[Troilus:] I was a boy. I listened to frog song...................................................27[Criseyde:] Already I miss Troy...................................................................29[Pandarus:] Slatternday Crumbday..................................................................31[Criseyde:] I didn't know who I was, we say.......................................................33[Troilus:] I watched him paint all he could draw..................................................35[Chorus:] We tried to remember....................................................................41[Narrator:] Our usual consolation of daisies......................................................43[Criseyde:] Dear (you know I never / rode horses well)............................................45[Troilus:] What lean pickings.....................................................................47[Criseyde:] I knew my would-be lover..............................................................50[Troilus:] Nightfall when I crossed...............................................................53[Criseyde:] By night my father's house shines.....................................................55[Cassandra:] Now the accrual of was. At Booth Lake, the body......................................57[Chorus:] Then came the sand trucks...............................................................61[Narrator:] We take the Hoan Bridge home..........................................................62[Criseyde:] If in any harbor......................................................................64[Criseyde:] It was like the old world sent me a letter............................................66[Criseyde:] The canister of Ajax glinting on the counter..........................................68[Criseyde:] Daily it storms: dams give out, a lake in the next county.............................70[Chorus:] The way fences open.....................................................................72Notes.............................................................................................75
Chapter One
And so bifel, whan comen was the tyme
Of Aperil, whan clothed is the mede
With newe grene, of lusty Veer the pryme,
And swote smellen floures white and rede,
In sondry wises shewed, as I rede,
The folk of Troie hire observaunces olde,
Palladiones feste for to holde.
Chaucer,
Troilus and Criseyde (I.155–61)
[PSYCHE'S SONG:]
Praise me, I told the water lilies, for I am half-invincible,
half-destructible, half-mad: am, in fact, a divine half
and a half not, and it's lonely out here and hot,
and half a lifetime has elapsed on this floating path
with its canopy of poison sumac, its pale, half-dead
orchids, the dreams of bog people hidden
under the planks—so finely pored, so stubble-bladed,
so adept at heat and loneliness, so not half—for who
will praise me now, I who was too clever by half,
who had an idea but no map: narrowing road, clearing,
the sun like the secret shining in the dark halves of all things,
like the improbable spirit—house in a wood,
wet seed under the weight of thought?
[NARRATOR:]
Of eighth grade—
tried reading the
Comedies,
as if to live in the forest naming the flowers
and flighty things when really
I was a fat girl
hurtling the length of a shotgun apartment
and crying bullet! when she leapt.
The photo recalls me thus: of vellum, a gulping sheen,
a blot under the crucifix
in her red velvet blazer.
Homeroom: paper plates, lemonade,
someone's pink-candled birthday cake—
I stayed at my desk. Penned, making real
progress:
Once she watched a house burn and thought
a commotion of flamingos.
Once the spring trees cast such delirious nets
she left someone
for someone with his hand on the next big thing
and that was sexy.
Dear So-and-So,
I wanted to be a real scholar. Then March. Then April
signed its proclamation of cloud—
[CRISEYDE:]
How sadly my friends and I
go after the fallen straps
of our tank tops
as if worn by some
dawning nostalgia
for the way the wind
gets to the picnic table
where we've set
the Campari and soda
the bowl of potato chips
the bowl of green olives
Afternoon's in the offing
we're a small herd
grazing small-ly
not Edenic not like gazelles
though by the dead tree
whose base has been boxed
and seeded with nasturtiums
and morning glories
Helen raises a quick finger
to the weather's indifference
I hear you what's to love is
a good question
For me it's laziness
sure But also a stoicism
I was an orb gliding
over the town's pale rivers
the sun in her corner
queenly a dead pearl
[PANDARUS:]
Troilus I said we're just dumb boys you know
the sound of a loose ball joint on a broken road
but as for will or won't she leave it to fate
I said and me I said I'll help
All afternoon I sat on his bed
watching the kite festival in the park
its snakes flashing through high clouds
Tending him Troilus feverish Troilus a litany
of whens a boy with clocks for brains
But I told myself someday you'll wake
less Troilus and the thought was like waking
to an accordion dawn
like I grew another pair of eyes
that opened on another room coastal full
of bone light and the smell of something cold
and mere something (funny) like raw squid
And I was a story shut inside this
remembering Troilus kite-tossed
in his sheets and how the garden
that day was more wind than green
Troilus listen I said between the words
"tree" and "bur oak" a forest sidles in
I don't know what I meant
I was thinking "girl": "Cressid" thinking
"April": Troilus finally dying like the rest of us
[TROILUS:]
Sniffly weather, the sky all prologue.
Lean hard from the hilltop
so the wind can catch you.
I stayed in bed, Pandarus quoting old potions
from Pliny to make me laugh:
"Wolf's liver in thin wine,
lard of a sow fed upon grass—
or was it the flesh of a she-ass
taken in broth?"
My ribs quaked so coughing I imagined
the boat of me after.
The river crumpled
like sheets someone couldn't crawl from
fast enough. I told him:
Pliny's also known for choking to death
on the ashes of Mt. Vesuvius.
I told him: Criseyde at the picnic in the rain
in her black dress.
I stayed in bed and I think
I slept, Pandarus narrating my dreams
like a radio play I got in fits:
meat and the mouth and the hand that fed you
petal shroud door in the garden
harbinger harbinger the dial sliding back and forth
until, when I woke, the windows
were frost-cast
and he was on his feet,
muttering something about how
we had a house to build now.
He handed me the pewter vase
from the nightstand to spit up in.
Something dry down there.
Fly husk, I guessed, or maybe
an old stem bit?
No, a scrap of paper
balled tight.
Hocus Pocus. Here is the body—
I fished it out. I ate it.
[CRISEYDE:]
In those days arrows were
very magic
you woke a pomp of bone and tinsel
fluttering on someone's pretty strings
You woke a foreign empire
antique, the wharf rats legion,
the messengers doff such funny hats
All the graffiti says
find me find
your irrevocably dazzled thing In her heart, Psyche calls the city Citrine
She's grown all attention—
under eyes saffron, lovely
clavicle, sweet each rib
Before bed she puts a piece of bread
on the windowsill where daily
she studies the smokestacks
the lean of anonymous trees
What crumb dawn finds
says she had a mooring, a morning,
a house in a wood with a lacquered bedroom
and goldfinches dizzying the ceiling
The jewelry box on the nightstand
played "Lara's Theme"
She liked taking the bottom off to watch
how the drum spun under the teeth
A commonplace, that the soul can't
tell human time
See, you're not the fence, she'd say
I'm not your sheep [PSYCHE:]
On the walls, the usual Americana.
The place was half under
the sidewalk, I'd nearly missed
the five cement stairs down.
In those lake cities
dusk affords year-round
a winterish distance.
It was winter anyway, very—
every cardinal like the throat
in the pulse of sleep.
She sleeps, she slept, she will sleep. When I woke it was like a holiday.
Everything was shut.
You should eat something, the voice said. Not yours—
my body maybe.
But I'm a traveler, I said,
I travel, I do not want.
So I ordered a chili dog,
which I particularly did not want.
I sat at the counter, under the girl
in polka dots and white gloves
sharing a Coke with Mr. Sailor,
her never-lover.
A commonplace, to feel meant
for something. Another: to feel un-
meant, like: the boat's gone,
that thought you thought
you belonged to.
The wax cup of root beer
in my hand was as cold
as my hand: I could neither warm
nor relinquish it.
Go on, the voice said,
eat.
Not yours. Some ant god, maybe,
shepherd of another petty hour.
I wiped mustard from the tips of my hair,
onions from my lap.
I licked someone else's stray poppy seeds
from my fingers.
In the waxpaper-lined plastic basket,
jetsam—a wreckage of napkins.
Between such crafts we bide.
[PANDARUS:]
We made a sand woman on Harrington Beach
in junior high a curving groove filled
with two mounds a hole
I poured half my Coke in
double double toil and trouble I bet when Troilus comes
it's still some giant wave
thrusting him on shore not ours
(weed-roped piles of alewives
gulls have reaped the eyes from)
Bougainvillea starfish pink sand
I know I shouldn't think this
It's my job I said I fix things
We were in line for popcorn
Criseyde saving our seats
admiring her nails probably
I'd chosen the movie
Zombies but funny so post-credits
we wouldn't mistake
the strip mall's parking lot
for one of hell's minor antechambers
Troilus less in the movie
than in her hair and
well begun
is half done I thought
When he surfaced
the look on his face
looked permanent
a portrait governed
I gave him the keys
Said I wanted to walk just drop it
tomorrow at the shop
that was the Z car
I sold last month it didn't idle
so much as strain to be let off leash
I figured she'd be impressed
if he could handle it
I had the valve job on the Volvo to get to
in the morning
And I wanted to think about the movie
guy ends up keeping his zombied friend
in the shed to play video games with
A small cold windless rain no bugs
crooning
yes it's only a canvas sky
hanging over a muslin tree to the streetlights
No raccoon-scuffle in the garbage cans
We're greedy if brief
Chapter Two
Ful redy was at prime Diomede
Criseyde unto the Grekis oost to lede,
For sorwe of which she felt hire herte blede,
As she that nyste what was best to rede.
And trewely, as men in bokes rede,
Men wiste nevere womman han the care,
Ne was so loth out of a town to fare.
Chaucer,
Troilus and Criseyde (V.15–21)
[CASSANDRA:]
The halo—no mere incandescence—
is the brand of the terribly
fucked, the soon-
to-be-devoured. Nor do we suffer
accordingly, but beyond that,
in the realm of the "really interesting,"
the desert, say, the dusky kitchen
where knives sing. Even a vaguer
dissatisfaction marshals the sky,
as, in a museum in the Alps,
one might study a model of the Alps
casting its own shadows to scale.
"If the best thing about the mountains
is our thoughts of the mountains,
we're all fucked." Or so P. says,
cutting his nails by streetlight
as the cottonwoods flutter and fade
and T. pencils sad and busy heads
on the backs of all the envelopes.
The lull, that predicament of ghosts,
catches the map of the minute
at wow, two eternities.
[NARRATOR:]
The afternoon grew taller when a boy on Halsted
hoisted his slim friend for a twirl
and yelled—a sweet growl, really—
Jenny, you're a fucking porch pickle! We were walking home from the zoo,
where who doesn't swoon
over the seal's big love-me look.
But have you noticed, I asked Dan,
that all seals look like seals looking out
of seal costumes? Ours were cows—
gray, or mottled pewter, rather.
You could go down the slippery stairs
to watch them underwater, and
Look!,
a boy put his finger on the luminous
wall,
it pooped! Of course time only
in retrospect stills. As in: funny, but I still
see most clearly—from a tail
like two thick furred palm fronds—that seal poop
feathering its way to the bottom of the pool.
After Jenny's tipsy spin, I took the day's
only photo—Dan in his new straw hat
under the bee-laden linden—
and taking it remembered: shadowing
this photo was another, fifteen years older
of my ex-husband in his new July panama.
Too bad the pigtailed girl at Dan's knee—
her lips one unmatchable shade
of popsicle blue—just missed the frame.
In even fleeting grief, the world's a copy of.
Fingernails, lace: such small stuff betrays the forger.
[CRISEYDE:]
Like the friend following you
into the thrall of the park by night—
through the gazebo and the swings
to the slide—
that
no, you go caught in my hair.
A gray epoch. Rain smoke. Stars
in the black gutters when it cleared.
My dreams grew big with whales
and buck-teethed women
whose veiled hats kept them kindly
at a distance.
I opened all the doors in the house
to collect light. Pale doors. Pale floors.
I wanted to turn ghost or water.
He's mopey, the story said
one morning,
but you like him right?
I was eating breakfast. Recounting,
on the neighbor's lawn,
the thinning herd of plastic deer.
Tell me more about the salt trade,
I'm bored, I said, tell me anything. The cat settled into her pillow on the bed.
Juice stung my wrist—the story'd stolen
another bite of nectarine.
It liked making me blush. It liked:
the ribbon shoelaces on my high heels,
certain frequencies of cloud, the parrot
who said only
No more good time Charlie for you! Before he came. After he left.
The girls at the beauty school
gossiping over their mannequin heads.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Troy, Unincorporatedby FRANCESCA ABBATE Copyright © 2012 by The University of Chicago. Excerpted by permission of THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO PRESS. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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