The Comfort Trap or, What If You're Riding a Dead Horse?

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9780143034551: The Comfort Trap or, What If You're Riding a Dead Horse?

Your comfort trap is the familiar, tolerable, but unsatisfying situation you’ve created in your life, complete with the trappings of security. It’s the job, the relationship, the bad habit, the friendship that won’t end unless you end it—though it drags down your spirit. Clinical psychologist and bestselling author Judith Sills shows you how to make self-propelled change in seven life-changing steps. Sometimes life’s tide does move us forward. This is a book for the times when it doesn’t.

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Review:

Don't get too comfortable, warns psychologist Judith Sills, who invites readers to jump over "the electric fence of anxiety" to find deeper satisfaction in their lives. Sills, the best-selling author of Excess Baggage, compares our rigid routines, bad habits, stale relationships, deja-vu jobs and family feuds to the futility of riding a dead horse. She offers seven clear ways of jumping off and changing direction. A first step is to understand "the dragons that guard our comfort zones and prevent change" including avoidance, blame, denial, fantasy and righteous indignation. Confrontational questions are essential: What would I do if I were not afraid? What do I desire? Have I done this before? For Sills, the capacity to change requires pairing desire with vision, looking back into your personal history—-but not staring--recognizing the difference between influence and control, and calculating the cost of your decision. Sills' writing, which bristles with energy, humor, and practicality, can be cluttered with too many change metaphors (dead horses, tightropes, and rowboats). But her insightful ideas will talk you out of your rut before you furnish it. --Barbara Mackoff

From the Back Cover:

"Challenges fostered by relationships, work, or any other factor lead not only to emotional distress, but are in fact one of the most pervasive contributing factors to physical disease. In this wonderful book, Dr. Sills provides a wide variety of practical and easy-to-understand solutions to those challenges. If you want to bring a sense of joy and balance back to your life, don't pass up this book!"

- Dr. Joseph Mercola, author of the New York Times bestseller, The No-Grain Diet, and founder of one of the world's most visited and respected health and wellness websites, Mercola.com

"With warmth, wisdom, a gentle push, and lots of good advice, Dr. Sills invites and inspires us to step into a larger, more gratifying life."

- Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger

"Judith Sills is the voice of clarity, wisdom and common sense that yells 'Enough already' in a way that we can hear and act on her sage advice."

- Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., author of Inner Peace for Busy Women

"This book is wise and funny and full of hope. Creative, practical, imaginative and sane, Dr. Sills really knows how to help people get unstuck. She is brilliant, and her book is a sparkling gem."

- Edward Hallowell, M.D., author of The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness and Driven to Distraction

"A seriously smart and insightful look at how to get unstuck and move your life to the next level."

- Jack Canfield, co-author of Chicken Soup for the Soul

"Is there anyone who hasn't loved someone too long, endured a bad situation too often or gotten stuck in a rut of some kind that runs down their self esteem and emotional well being?...There is much to learn here -- and real tools to use to disengage from unproductive, repeated behaviors that may seem inescapable -- but are not. If you are spinning your wheels -- this is a book that will give you traction."
- Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., author of Everything You Know About Love and Sex is Wrong

"A delightful read and a very effective recipe for helping you push through your fears and change what isn't working in your life."

-Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., author of Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway and Embracing Uncertainty

"Dr. Sills' straightforward vision propelled me out of my comfort zone. This is a book that could change a life."

- Sharon Wolmuth, co-author of Sisters, Mothers & Daughters and Best Friends

"Dr. Sills has the solution. Next time you need to talk to the boss, dump the boyfriend, start the diet, get honest with your mom, get control of your finances...this is the book that shows you how to dig deep inside, muster the motivation and just do it."

- Julie Morgenstern, author of Organizing from the Inside Out

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