When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses

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9780060196134: When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses

Book Description

To watch a child grieve and not know what to do is one of the most difficult experiences for parents, teachers, and caregivers. And yet, there are guidelines for helping children develop a lifelong, healthy response to loss.In When children Grieve, John W James and Russell Friedman of the Grief Recovery Institute, along with psychotherapist Dr. Leslie Landon Matthews, have created a cutting-edge volume that will help free children from the false idea that they "shouldn't feel bad" and will empower them with positive, effective methods of dealing with loss.There are many life experiences that can produce feelings of grief in a child, everything from the death of a relative or a divorce, to more everyday experiences such as moving to a new neighborhood or losing a prized possession. Whatever the reason or the degree of severity if a child you love is grieving, the guidelines examined in this thoughtful book can make a difference. For example:Listen with your heart, not your head. Allow all emotions to be expressed, without judgment, criticism, or analysis.Recognize that grief is emotional, not intellectual. Avoid the trap of asking your child what is wrong, for he or she will automatically say "Nothing."Adults -- Go first. Telling the truth about your own grief will make your child feel safe in opening up about his or her own feelings.Remember that each of your children is unique and each has a unique relationship to the loss event.Be patient. Don't force your child to talk.Never say "Don't feel sad" or "Don't feel scared." Sadness and fear, the two most common feelings attached to loss of any kind, are essential to being human.

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From the Author:

As the authors of this book, we are thrilled with the fact that over time, millions of young people's lives will be positively affected by the ideas presented here. Although we wrote the book in about a year, it was really a cumulative 45 years in the making - combining the time that the three of us have spent helping parents and others help children deal with loss.

We want to share with our potential readers this quote that appears on the cover WHEN CHILDREN GRIEVE:

"There isn't anyone in life who hasn't experienced some kind of loss. It's comforting to know that we are not alone in our sadness and that practical, easy-to-read, thoughtful help is available by way of Russell Friedman, John James, and Leslie Landon Matthews' gentle insights on the pages of WHEN CHILDREN GRIEVE. Thank you, Neighbors, for your obvious care." FRED ROGERS, PRODUCER/HOST, MISTER ROGERS' NEIGHBORHOOD and Honorary Chairman of The Caring Place, a center for grieving children, adolescents, and their families.

Fred Rogers is not well-known in the UK, but he is a legend in the United States. The vast majority of children raised in America over the past 25 years have been influenced by this gentle giant of a man. He is one of the most trusted voices in America in regards to the well-being of children.

We thank Fred Rogers for his vote of confidence that the contents of our book are safe and helpful for you and your children.

From our hearts to you and your children, with love,

Russell Friedman, John W. James, and Dr. Leslie Landon Matthews

From the Back Cover:

"There isn't anyone in life who hasn't experienced some kind of loss. It's comforting to know that we are not alone in our sadness and that practical, easy to read, thoughtful help is available by way of Russell Friedman, John W. James, and Leslie Landon Matthews' gentle insights on the pages of When Children Grieve. Thank you, Neighbors, for your obvious care."
Fred Rogers - Producer/Host Mister Rogers' Neighborhood
Producer/Host Mister Rogers' Neighborhood and Honorary Chairman of The Caring Place (a center for grieving children, adolescents, and their families).


"In my 25 years of training family therapists, I have never seen a more useful tool for helping children deal with loss. This book transcends traditional thinking about helping children grieve. In practical, everyday language, the authors present an action-oriented program that provides concrete suggestions of things to say and do with a child to help acknowledge the loss and to ‘complete' the process of grieving in the healthiest of ways. Although this book positions adults as the child's "emotional leader" in the grief process, all adults can benefit greatly by applying these principles to themselves as well."
Edwin S. Cox, Ph.D., President Emeritus, Phillips Graduate Institute


"Once in a generation, a book comes along that alters the way society views a topic. We teach our children to read, write and do math, so their lives will be successful. While gains are important, loss is unavoidable. Sadly, we do not always teach our children useful skills to deal with the feelings caused by losses, large and small - mainly because we do not know how. When Children Grieve is an essential primer for parents and others who interact with children on a regular basis."
Bernard McGrane, Ph.D., professor of sociology, Chapman University and UC Irvine

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