Paperback. They said "Win the morning, win the day."I said "Win the snooze button, win my sanity."Welcome to The 5AM Miracle (That I Slept Through), a brutally honest, laugh-out-loud survival guide for anyone who has ever been guilt-tripped by self-help gurus, productivity bros, or that one coworker who brags about waking up before sunrise.Jay Dijkstra, Filipino humorist, certified procrastinator, and unwilling test subject in the cult of early rising, takes you on a chaotic journey through the myths of the morning routine. With sharp satire and unapologetic honesty, he exposes the scams, contradictions, and absurdities hiding behind the polished Instagram posts of the so-called "5AM Club."Inside, you'll find: Why cold showers just make you wet and angry.How pancit canton is the real breakfast of champions.Why accountability partners are just annoying friends.The dark truth about "No Days Off" culture (spoiler: kidney stones).The only actual secret to success (hint: there isn't one).Along the way, Jay mixes fake advice, self-deprecating case studies, and useless exercises that somehow end up being more helpful than anything a 1,000 Dollar seminar could give you. You'll laugh, you'll cringe, and you might even feel a little better about the fact that you still don't have your life together.This is not a self-help book. It is an anti-self-help book. The kind that roasts the entire genre while sneakily slipping in real insights about rest, consistency, and surviving in a world that never stops shouting at you to work harder.Perfect for burned-out Millennials, confused Gen Z, and anyone who has ever stared at a motivational poster and thought, "That's cute, but I'm broke."So if you're tired of gurus selling secrets, and if you would rather eat instant noodles than meditate at sunrise, this book is for you. The miracle is not in waking up at 5AM. The miracle is waking up at all, on your own terms.The 5AM Miracle (That I Slept Through) is Book 1 in The Self-Help for Idiots Who Are Tired of Self-Help series. Come for the jokes, stay for the relief that you're not the only one still failing at mornings. This item is printed on demand. Shipping may be from our UK warehouse or from our Australian or US warehouses, depending on stock availability.

Seller Inventory # 9798232647131

Contact seller

Report this item

Bibliographic Details

Title: The 5AM Miracle (That I Slept Through) (Paperback)
Publisher: Jayson Valencia
Publication Date: 2025
Language: English
ISBN 13: 9798232647131
Binding: Paperback
Condition: new

About this title

Synopsis

They said "Win the morning, win the day."
I said "Win the snooze button, win my sanity."

Welcome to The 5AM Miracle (That I Slept Through), a brutally honest, laugh-out-loud survival guide for anyone who has ever been guilt-tripped by self-help gurus, productivity bros, or that one coworker who brags about waking up before sunrise.

Jay Dijkstra, Filipino humorist, certified procrastinator, and unwilling test subject in the cult of early rising, takes you on a chaotic journey through the myths of the morning routine. With sharp satire and unapologetic honesty, he exposes the scams, contradictions, and absurdities hiding behind the polished Instagram posts of the so-called "5AM Club."

Inside, you'll find:

Why cold showers just make you wet and angry.
How pancit canton is the real breakfast of champions.
Why accountability partners are just annoying friends.
The dark truth about "No Days Off" culture (spoiler: kidney stones).
The only actual secret to success (hint: there isn't one).

Along the way, Jay mixes fake advice, self-deprecating case studies, and useless exercises that somehow end up being more helpful than anything a 1,000 Dollar seminar could give you. You'll laugh, you'll cringe, and you might even feel a little better about the fact that you still don't have your life together.

This is not a self-help book. It is an anti-self-help book. The kind that roasts the entire genre while sneakily slipping in real insights about rest, consistency, and surviving in a world that never stops shouting at you to work harder.

Perfect for burned-out Millennials, confused Gen Z, and anyone who has ever stared at a motivational poster and thought, "That's cute, but I'm broke."

So if you're tired of gurus selling secrets, and if you would rather eat instant noodles than meditate at sunrise, this book is for you. The miracle is not in waking up at 5AM. The miracle is waking up at all, on your own terms.

The 5AM Miracle (That I Slept Through) is Book 1 in The Self-Help for Idiots Who Are Tired of Self-Help series. Come for the jokes, stay for the relief that you're not the only one still failing at mornings.

"About this title" may belong to another edition of this title.

Store Description

Online business

Visit Seller's Storefront

Seller's business information

ABC BOOKS LIMITED
10 John Street, London, WC1N 2EB, United Kingdom

Sale & Shipping Terms

Terms of Sale

Orders can be returned within 30 days of receipt.

Right of withdrawal

If you are a consumer you can withdraw from the contract in accordance with the following. Consumer means any natural person who is acting for purposes which are outside his trade, business, craft or profession.

Information regarding the right of withdrawal

Statutory right to withdraw

You have the right to withdraw from this contract within 14 days without giving any reason.

The withdrawal period will expire after 14 days from the day on which you acquire, or a third party other than the carrier and indicated by you acquires, physical possession of the last good or the last lot or piece.

To exercise the right of withdrawal, electronically fill in and submit a clear statement on our website, under "My Purchases" in "My Account". We will communicate to you an acknowledgement of receipt of such a withdrawal on a durable medium (e.g. by e-mail) without delay.

To meet the withdrawal deadline, it is sufficient for you to send your communication concerning your exercise of the right of withdrawal before the withdrawal period has expired.

Effects of withdrawal

If you withdraw from this contract, we will reimburse to you all payments received from you, including the costs of delivery (except for the supplementary costs arising if you chose a type of delivery other than the least expensive type of standard delivery offered by us).

We may make a deduction from the reimbursement for loss in value of any goods supplied, if the loss is the result of unnecessary handling by you.

We will make the reimbursement without undue delay, and not later than 14 days after the day on which we are informed about your decision to withdraw from this contract.

We will make the reimbursement using the same means of payment as you used for the initial transaction, unless you have expressly agreed otherwise; in any event, you will not incur any fees as a result of such reimbursement.

We may withhold reimbursement until we have received the goods back, or you have supplied evidence of having sent back the goods, whichever is the earliest.

You shall send back the goods or hand them over to CitiRetail, Stevenage, United Kingdom, without undue delay and in any event not later than 14 days from the day on which you communicate your withdrawal from this contract to us. The deadline is met if you send back the goods before the period of 14 days has expired. You will have to bear the direct cost of returning the goods. You are only liable for any diminished value of the goods resulting from the handling other than what is necessary to establish the nature, characteristics and functioning of the goods.

Exceptions to the right of withdrawal

The right of withdrawal does not apply to:

The delivery of newspapers, journals or magazines with the exception of subscription contracts; and
The supply of digital content which is not supplied on a tangible medium (e.g. on a CD or DVD) if you accepted when you placed your order that we could start to deliver it, and that you could not withdraw once delivery had started.

Shipping Terms

Please note that titles are dispatched from our US, Canadian or Australian warehouses. Delivery times specified in shipping terms. Orders ship within 2 business days. Delivery to your door then takes 7-14 days.

Shipping rates from United Kingdom to U.S.A.

Shipping rates from United Kingdom to U.S.A.
Order quantity	7 to 60 business days	7 to 14 business days
First item	� 37.00	� 37.00

Delivery times are set by sellers and vary by carrier and location. Orders passing through Customs may face delays and buyers are responsible for any associated duties or fees. Sellers may contact you regarding additional charges to cover any increased costs to ship your items.