Poems Never to Read to Children - Softcover

Jones, Ira Jacob

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1511748567 ISBN 13: 9781511748568

Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2015

Synopsis

Have you ever been secretly sickened by the sugary syrupy prose and goody-two-shoes stuff you have read to children? Has it ever gotten old? Real old? Did you ever wonder what would happen if it all turned out bad instead? Real bad. Really really bad. Hmmm...

How about a collection of poems that strike at all the hang-ups and insecurities we shared as kids? Then add in a dose of reality, from drunkenness to thievery, and a serving of bad behaviors galore.

Take a poetic journey way beyond "Go the F**k to Sleep" by Adam Mansbach.

Here are a few of the unforgettable poems:

• Teddy Bear No More

  Short and moving tale of a teddy bear's demise.

• Pops is a Criminal

  Poignant poem that tells it like it is.

• You're Not so Special at All

  A warning for the next generation!

• Joey's Dead

  The danger of sniffing glue is graphically explored.

• Fatso

  This poem about being overweight is simply as painful as it sounds.

• Where Did our Little Angel Learn to F*cking Swear?

  The question on every parent's mind, with an equally obvious answer.

• Closet

  If you weren't scared of your closet before...

• Floss. Brush. Die.

  An easy to read poem that brings the danger of Fluoride front and center.

• Bully Time

  Old school ways for new days...

• Run with Scissors

  Who will ever forget this practical advice?

“Laughed so hard that I forgot for a moment how twisted Jones is! And yet, I loved every bad moment!”

“Deliciously evil and so incredibly politically incorrect. Anti-matter for the prissy prudish straight-laced set. What’s there not to love?”

“I haven’t read this book but I am outraged that this nasty stuff has fans. I mean really, what is wrong with you people?”

“Totally different. Grossly inappropriate. Totally engrossing. Funny as hell! Well done Jones.”

Well... for all my fellow commiserants ...

Here, for your mature adult consumption, and DEFINITELY NOT FOR CHILDREN, is my latest collection of irreverent, sophomoric, politically incorrect, harsh, horribly wicked, tasteless, mean, cruel, uncaring, admittedly twisted, and simply vile poetic filth.

Hope you enjoy my parody!

Ira Jacob jones

About this edition

• Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform
• Publication date: 2015
• ISBN 10: 1511748567
• ISBN 13: 9781511748568
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 42