Items related to Holy Hunger: A Memoir of Desire
The author describes her privileged but unhappy, emotionally repressed childhood and her long, difficult struggle with a food addiction that controlled and devastated her life
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Reviews -- Amazon.com: The psychology underlying eating disorders is fraught with contradictions and uncertainties; researchers are just beginning to formulate the exact biochemical and emotional combination that impels a woman to binge and purge, or starve herself, or chronically overeat. But the familial forces behind such self-destructive behavior are what Margaret Bullitt-Jonas focuses on in her ultimately graceful memoir, HOLY HUNGER.As in 1998's WASTED, where Marya Hornbacher's anorexia, bulimia, and exercise addiction were fueled by her parents' implicit orders to excel, Bullitt-Jonas was born into a family of extreme overachievement. Her father ("the rapscallion, the charmer, the rogue"), a covertly alcoholic English professor at Harvard, and her chronically depressed mother, a trustee at neighboring Radcliffe, maintained a miserable home atmosphere. Her father called her "a failure in life even before you've begun to live." Bullitt-Jonas reacted by addictively overeating in her desperation to sate an emotional hunger she couldn't quite identify.HOLY HUNGER is her way of answering the question: "How did my desires go so awry?" She started as a child: "So who knows what I felt, who knows what I was really longing for.... I had no idea what it was--a compulsion, a desire, an unspoken something or other--that caused my small hand to dart out, reach for an extra slice of bread, then slip it quietly, unseen, into my pocket." Bullitt-Jonas's overeating spells through her adolescence and early adulthood are, as expected, devastating. But she manages to save herself through faith in the Higher Power she defers to in her Overeaters Anonymous meetings; her prayers for help; the almost eerie assistance she finds by reading Alice Miller. She transcends her desperation, offering a valuable lesson in the power of spirituality. The New York Times Book Review, Alexandra Hall ...an example of self-examination that is indeed insightful and instructive. From Kirkus Reviews, November 15, 1998:Bullitt-Jonas tells the story of her food addiction and rescue. A Harvard-trained Episcopal priest now living in Brookline, Mass., the author says her eating disorder raged secretly out of control until she finally could face her pain and find a way out of it. Overeating is a language with its own grammar and vocabulary, she notes. It's as much a mistake to assume that compulsive eaters love food or love to eat as it is to assume that sexually promiscuous persons love the partners that they seduce and discard. For her, a binge often began with an angry mind, but by the end of the binge, the anger would be comfortably cloaked and soothed. She¹d gain as much as eleven pounds in four days. But the quiet pace of her self-discovery here slowly gathers force as the author probes not only her own tale, but also her family's. She addresses both the nature of desire and the power that comes of finally putting desire into words and accepting it. What were the hindrances? Bullitt-Jonas was born into a world where thoughts were expected to leap from the brain to the belly, meanwhile avoiding the heart.'' Her family¹s demands for excellence, poise, and self-control, coupled with their Cambridge-style academic leanings, all exerted a baleful force on her. Hidden behind their demands, her parents -- at length divorced -- seemed unduly detached from her. That her Harvard professor of English father (the master of words) was a tormented alcoholic and her Radcliffe trustee mother (the master of silence) was severely depressed throughout the daughter¹s childhood were facts she learned only later. Recovering her own identity is the memoir¹s goal, and Bullitt-Jonas gradually also gains insight into her family and other relationships. She clears a space that she can live in. An encouraging testimonial to the rewards of following a wise suggestion: ³Heal thyself.'' -- Copyright ©1998, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. Book Description: The compelling story of a young woman's recovery from a privileged yet painful childhood and away from the cravings that came to control her life. In public, Margaret Bullitt-Jonas was a superachiever--a stellar graduate student at Harvard and a dutiful daughter in a distinguished family. In private she was eating herself into oblivion. Beginning with her childhood in an emotionally constrained home where uncommon accomplishment was the expected norm and where her father's alcoholism--and the toll it took on the family--was kept secret, food addiction became Bullitt-Jonas's means of both concealing and communicating her needs and desires. We see her life increasingly consumed by overeating and the desperate effort to make herself stop. With extraordinary honesty and grace, she describes her descent into addiction; the crisis that forced her to choose, literally, between life and death; and the arduous process through which she learned to set aside her compulsive cravings and listen to her heart's desire. A tale of anguish and longing, confusion and forgiveness, HOLY HUNGER shows us a life-threatening situation becoming a path to grace as Bullitt-Jonas gradually finds new ways of relating to herself and others, and discovers the spiritual hunger beneath her craving.Customer Comments Average Customer Review: ***** Number of Reviews: 5A reader from New York City , January 25, 1999 *****A moving and beautiful memoir of a compulsive overeater Of the many books I have read on this subject, this is by far the best. It is honest and unsentimental and manages to convey what lies behind the author's compulsion to fill her empty spaces with food in a clear and direct manner. It does not preach or prescribe, it simply tells a story. It is a story anyone with an eating disorder, or with a loved one with an eating disorder, MUST read. A reader from Clinton, WA , January 23, 1999 *****Deeply moving, personally relevant memoir. What an extraordinary surprise to read this powerful, moving memoir! Far more than recounting just another tale of addiction, the author has given us a candid, emotionally electric insight into the nature of any dysfunctional family upbringing. She writes beautifully, revealing sometimes excruciating detail with great dignity. The story of her relationship with her father is one of the most poignant and wrenching father-daughter memoirs I have ever read. Not only did I find myself discovering elements of my own eating compulsions, but I found myself reflecting--not always comfortably--on my own childhood as well as my role as a father. The book is valuable for anyone seeking deeper insight into their own life struggles, for it is finally about the lifelong work of growing more loving, wiser, more open to the Mystery that holds us all. A terrific read! Lorienne Schwenk (lorienne@tiac.net) from Boston , January 11, 1999 *****Me too! I found myself on every page of Margaret's book, though of course my life is as unique from hers as anyone's is from anyone else's. She has taught me to pay attention to my actions and reactions to learn what the deeper feelings and motives are. I applaud Margaret for showing the way through to the other side of pain, dysfunction, and anger. A reader from Seattle Washington , January 4, 1999 ***** Riveting story, important message HOLY HUNGER is magnificent. I predict it will be both a huge commercial success and critically acclaimed. After reading it through in less than twenty four hours I¹ve been recommending it to anyone who will listen. Margaret Bullitt-Jonas writes beautifully. Never preachy, her message is important, her story riveting. A reader from Santa Barbara, CA , December 26, 1998 *****A compelling story of addiction and faith An extraordinary account of a journey into the hell of addiction and the faith and courage it took to heal and restore a body and a soul. Margaret Bullitt-Jonas tells her story with great honesty and detail and makes the connection between a hunger for food and a hunger for God without sentimentality or compromise. Holy Hunger is also a strong memoir of a family in pain, like so many of our families, and it makes room for all of us to be more honest and therefore more hopeful.
About the Author:
Reviews -- Amazon.com: The psychology underlying eating disorders is fraught with contradictions and uncertainties; researchers are just beginning to formulate the exact biochemical and emotional combination that impels a woman to binge and purge, or starve herself, or chronically overeat. But the familial forces behind such self-destructive behavior are what Margaret Bullitt-Jonas focuses on in her ultimately graceful memoir, HOLY HUNGER.As in 1998's WASTED, where Marya Hornbacher's anorexia, bulimia, and exercise addiction were fueled by her parents' implicit orders to excel, Bullitt-Jonas was born into a family of extreme overachievement. Her father ("the rapscallion, the charmer, the rogue"), a covertly alcoholic English professor at Harvard, and her chronically depressed mother, a trustee at neighboring Radcliffe, maintained a miserable home atmosphere. Her father called her "a failure in life even before you've begun to live." Bullitt-Jonas reacted by addictively overeating in her desperation to sate an emotional hunger she couldn't quite identify.HOLY HUNGER is her way of answering the question: "How did my desires go so awry?" She started as a child: "So who knows what I felt, who knows what I was really longing for.... I had no idea what it was--a compulsion, a desire, an unspoken something or other--that caused my small hand to dart out, reach for an extra slice of bread, then slip it quietly, unseen, into my pocket." Bullitt-Jonas's overeating spells through her adolescence and early adulthood are, as expected, devastating. But she manages to save herself through faith in the Higher Power she defers to in her Overeaters Anonymous meetings; her prayers for help; the almost eerie assistance she finds by reading Alice Miller. She transcends her desperation, offering a valuable lesson in the power of spirituality. The New York Times Book Review, Alexandra Hall ...an example of self-examination that is indeed insightful and instructive. From Kirkus Reviews, November 15, 1998:Bullitt-Jonas tells the story of her food addiction and rescue. A Harvard-trained Episcopal priest now living in Brookline, Mass., the author says her eating disorder raged secretly out of control until she finally could face her pain and find a way out of it. Overeating is a language with its own grammar and vocabulary, she notes. It's as much a mistake to assume that compulsive eaters love food or love to eat as it is to assume that sexually promiscuous persons love the partners that they seduce and discard. For her, a binge often began with an angry mind, but by the end of the binge, the anger would be comfortably cloaked and soothed. She¹d gain as much as eleven pounds in four days. But the quiet pace of her self-discovery here slowly gathers force as the author probes not only her own tale, but also her family's. She addresses both the nature of desire and the power that comes of finally putting desire into words and accepting it. What were the hindrances? Bullitt-Jonas was born into a world where thoughts were expected to leap from the brain to the belly, meanwhile avoiding the heart.'' Her family¹s demands for excellence, poise, and self-control, coupled with their Cambridge-style academic leanings, all exerted a baleful force on her. Hidden behind their demands, her parents -- at length divorced -- seemed unduly detached from her. That her Harvard professor of English father (the master of words) was a tormented alcoholic and her Radcliffe trustee mother (the master of silence) was severely depressed throughout the daughter¹s childhood were facts she learned only later. Recovering her own identity is the memoir¹s goal, and Bullitt-Jonas gradually also gains insight into her family and other relationships. She clears a space that she can live in. An encouraging testimonial to the rewards of following a wise suggestion: ³Heal thyself.'' -- Copyright ©1998, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. Book Description: The compelling story of a young woman's recovery from a privileged yet painful childhood and away from the cravings that came to control her life. In public, Margaret Bullitt-Jonas was a superachiever--a stellar graduate student at Harvard and a dutiful daughter in a distinguished family. In private she was eating herself into oblivion. Beginning with her childhood in an emotionally constrained home where uncommon accomplishment was the expected norm and where her father's alcoholism--and the toll it took on the family--was kept secret, food addiction became Bullitt-Jonas's means of both concealing and communicating her needs and desires. We see her life increasingly consumed by overeating and the desperate effort to make herself stop. With extraordinary honesty and grace, she describes her descent into addiction; the crisis that forced her to choose, literally, between life and death; and the arduous process through which she learned to set aside her compulsive cravings and listen to her heart's desire. A tale of anguish and longing, confusion and forgiveness, HOLY HUNGER shows us a life-threatening situation becoming a path to grace as Bullitt-Jonas gradually finds new ways of relating to herself and others, and discovers the spiritual hunger beneath her craving.Customer Comments Average Customer Review: ***** Number of Reviews: 5A reader from New York City , January 25, 1999 *****A moving and beautiful memoir of a compulsive overeater Of the many books I have read on this subject, this is by far the best. It is honest and unsentimental and manages to convey what lies behind the author's compulsion to fill her empty spaces with food in a clear and direct manner. It does not preach or prescribe, it simply tells a story. It is a story anyone with an eating disorder, or with a loved one with an eating disorder, MUST read. A reader from Clinton, WA , January 23, 1999 *****Deeply moving, personally relevant memoir. What an extraordinary surprise to read this powerful, moving memoir! Far more than recounting just another tale of addiction, the author has given us a candid, emotionally electric insight into the nature of any dysfunctional family upbringing. She writes beautifully, revealing sometimes excruciating detail with great dignity. The story of her relationship with her father is one of the most poignant and wrenching father-daughter memoirs I have ever read. Not only did I find myself discovering elements of my own eating compulsions, but I found myself reflecting--not always comfortably--on my own childhood as well as my role as a father. The book is valuable for anyone seeking deeper insight into their own life struggles, for it is finally about the lifelong work of growing more loving, wiser, more open to the Mystery that holds us all. A terrific read! Lorienne Schwenk (lorienne@tiac.net) from Boston , January 11, 1999 *****Me too! I found myself on every page of Margaret's book, though of course my life is as unique from hers as anyone's is from anyone else's. She has taught me to pay attention to my actions and reactions to learn what the deeper feelings and motives are. I applaud Margaret for showing the way through to the other side of pain, dysfunction, and anger. A reader from Seattle Washington , January 4, 1999 ***** Riveting story, important message HOLY HUNGER is magnificent. I predict it will be both a huge commercial success and critically acclaimed. After reading it through in less than twenty four hours I¹ve been recommending it to anyone who will listen. Margaret Bullitt-Jonas writes beautifully. Never preachy, her message is important, her story riveting. A reader from Santa Barbara, CA , December 26, 1998 *****A compelling story of addiction and faith An extraordinary account of a journey into the hell of addiction and the faith and courage it took to heal and restore a body and a soul. Margaret Bullitt-Jonas tells her story with great honesty and detail and makes the connection between a hunger for food and a hunger for God without sentimentality or compromise. Holy Hunger is also a strong memoir of a family in pain, like so many of our families, and it makes room for all of us to be more honest and therefore more hopeful.
Margaret Bullitt-Jonas was born in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and lives with her husband and young son in a suburb west of Boston. She leads retreats in both the United States and Canada and has been involved with 12-step spirituality for more than fifteen years. She is an Episcopal priest who serves as Associate Rector of All Saints Parish, Brookline, and as a lecturer at Episcopal Divinity School.
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- PublisherAlfred a Knopf Inc
- Publication date1999
- ISBN 10 037540094X
- ISBN 13 9780375400940
- BindingHardcover
- Number of pages253
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