Using this metaphor to illustrate the commonly occurring conflicts between men and women, Gray explains how these differences can come between the sexes and prohibit mutually fulfilling loving relationships.
Based on years of successful counseling of couples, he gives advice on how to counteract these differences in communication styles, emotional needs and modes of behavior to promote a greater understanding between individual partners. Gray shows how men and women react differently in conversation and how their relationships are affected by male intimacy cycles ('get close, ' 'back off'), and female self-esteem fluctuations ('I'm okay, ' 'I'm not okay'). He encourages readers to accept the other gender's particular way of expressing love, and helps men and women learn how to fulfill one another's emotional needs.
With practical suggestions on how to reduce conflict, crucial information on how to interpret a partner's behavior and methods for preventing emotional 'trash from the past' from invading new relationships, "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" is a valuable tool for couples who want to develop deeper and more satisfying relationships with their partners.
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He discusses every aspect of relationships--but most importantly he does this in practical ways. For example, he lists common statements that people in relationships say to their partners, what is intended, what is actually heard. Gray goes on to suggest ways to say what you intended that are more appropriate for the Venusian or Martian audienc--he even compiles lists of translations of common male/female exchanges.
The tone of the book is always helpful, friendly and non-judgmental, kind and well-meaning, although the typical self-help strategy of repeating and summarising points results in the book seeming somewhat directionless. It is nevertheless an essential title for the bookshelf of every self-respecting self-help addict, and is a good place to start for the curious. It does also have some real gems of wisdom and new strategies. All in all, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is a star guide to understanding the constellations of coupledom. --Alison Jardine
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