The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, or Desperate

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9780060196387: The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, or Desperate

In her most affirming and life-changing book yet, Dr. Harriet Lerner teaches us how to restore love and connection with the people who matter the most. In The Dance of Connection we learn what to say (and not say) when:

  • We need an apology, and the person who has harmed us won't apologize or be accountable.
  • We don't know how to take a conversation to the next level when we feel desperate.
  • We feel worn down by the other person's criticism, negativity, or irresponsible behavior.
  • We have been rejected or cut off, and the other person won't show up for the conversation.
  • We are struggling with staying or leaving, and we don't know our "bottom line."
  • We are convinced that we've tried everything -- and nothing changes.

Filled with compelling personal stories and case examples, Lerner outlines bold new "voice lessons" that show us how to speak with honor and personal integrity, even when the other person behaves badly.

Whether we're dealing with a partner, parent, sister, or best friend, The Dance of Connection teaches us how to navigate our most important relationships with clarity, courage, and joyous conviction.

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Product Description:

Good communication is the key to successful relationships. However, in marriage and other intimate relationships both men and women complain that they stop being heard and fail to communicate with the other person. The resulting conflict only leads to pain, frustration, silence and anger. This book aims to show how to articulate your true self and transform your relationships. It contains advice on: making yourself heard; developing an authentic voice that reflects the true you; increase your capacity to give and receive love by communicating in new ways; speaking with honour and personal integrity even when the other person behaves badly; and breaking out of established bad patterns of communication, such as passive-aggression, criticism and defensiveness. There are also case histories and strategies to follow.

Review:

"I love Hariet Lerner's work."-Anne Lamott, author of Traveling Mercies "Lerner's mass appeal results in?accessible and well-organized work that?belongs in all libraries Highly recommended."Library Journal

"I love Hariet Lerner's work." -- -Anne Lamott, author of Traveling Mercies

"Lerner's mass appeal results in.accessible and well-organized work that.belongs in all libraries Highly recommended." -- Library Journal

"I love Hariet Lerner's work."---Anne Lamott, author of Traveling Mercies

Brimming with practical advice, sharp wit, extraordinary knowledge, deep caring. --Edward M. Hallowell, M.D., author of Driven to Distraction

"Lerner's mass appeal results in...accessible and well-organized work that...belongs in all libraries Highly recommended."--Library Journal

"Brimming with practical advice, sharp wit, extraordinary knowledge, deep caring."--Edward M. Hallowell, M.D., author of Driven to Distraction

"Lerner does a remarkable job teaching us new steps in the complicated, mysterious, painful and beautiful dance that we call family life."--Mary Pipher, Ph.D.

""The Dance of Connection" can save your marriage, a friendship, and your relationship with your mother, father, sister, brother--even your boss. Brimming with practical advice, sharp wit, extraordinary knowledge, deep caring."--Edward M. Hallowell, M.D.

"The Dance of Connection" can save your marriage, a friendship, and your relationship with your mother, father, sister, brother--even your boss. Brimming with practical advice, sharp wit, extraordinary knowledge, deep caring. --Edward M. Hallowell, M.D."

Lerner does a remarkable job teaching us new steps in the complicated, mysterious, painful and beautiful dance that we call family life. --Mary Pipher, Ph.D."

Lerner s mass appeal results in accessible and well-organized work that belongs in all libraries Highly recommended. --Library Journal"

The Dance of Connection can save your marriage, a friendship, and your relationship with your mother, father, sister, brother--even your boss. Brimming with practical advice, sharp wit, extraordinary knowledge, deep caring. --Edward M. Hallowell, M.D."

Lerner rescues us from the swamps and quicksands of difficult relationships with her unique clarity and profound intelligence. This book is for everyone. --Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., author of After the Affair"

"The Dance of Connection can save your marriage, a friendship, and your relationship with your mother, father, sister, brother--even your boss. Brimming with practical advice, sharp wit, extraordinary knowledge, deep caring."--Edward M. Hallowell, M.D.

"Lerner rescues us from the swamps and quicksands of difficult relationships with her unique clarity and profound intelligence. This book is for everyone."--Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., author of After the Affair

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