I Am No Longer Myself Without You: How Men Love Women - Softcover

Rutherford, Jonathan

3.6

10 ratings by Goodreads

9780006530381: I Am No Longer Myself Without You: How Men Love Women

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0006530389 ISBN 13: 9780006530381

Publisher: Flamingo, 2000

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Why do words fail men when they need them most? Why is the subject of what men want emotionally, shrouded in silence? This is a book that attempts, in the style of Blake Morrison and Richard Rayner, to put men’s experience of Love into words.

’A slim, elegantly written account, packed with quotations from poetry, fiction, cinema, items from newspapers, popular culture and personal anecdote, which argues that silence in the face of emotion is the predominant male response. Inarticulacy is still the norm... Rutherford doesn’t offer solutions but his assessments are both thoughtful and revealing and his anecdotes, particularly those from his own experience, pinpoint why men do what they do... As befits this huge subject, his frame of reference is wide from T.S. Eliot to Francis Fukuyama, Families Without Fathers to Men Behaving Badly. Non academic in tone, this book is very much for Rutherford’s own generation, those in their 30s and 40s who have had the post-war upbringing he explores. It will have less to say to men in their 60s and 70s, though it might help them understand their sons. And women, emotionally articulate lot that they are, will love it.’ CAROLINE GASCOIGNE, Sunday Times

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From the Back Cover:

Jonathan Rutherford explores the enigmatic silence which surrounds men's love. When a man falls in love he surrenders his condition of solitude; he relinquishes his masquerade of self-sufficiency. He falls into a wordless void. He is moved beyond words. A new story of his life is waiting to begin; a recognition that 'I am no longer myself without you'. Faced with such a prospect, men have been unsure how to respond to women – or, rather, how to respond to their need of women. Traditionally, they have reasserted their boundaries, recouped some of their solitude, restored order. Jonathan Rutherford searches for a new emotional voice, a new way forward, 'I Am No Longer Myself Without You' is a groundbreaking book that is at once cultural commentary, moving memoir and psychological study – a modern anatomy of love.

"Intriguing . . . Rutherford is master of his chosen subject: masculinity."
PAUL JOHNSON, 'Sunday Telegraph'

"A slim, elegant written account, packed with quotations from poetry, fiction, cinema, items form newspapers, popular culture and personal anecdote . . . Rutherford doesn't offer solutions but his assessments are both thoughtful and revealing and his anecdote, particularly those from his own experience, pinpoint why men do what they do . . As befits this huge subject, his frame of reference is wide from T.S. Elliot to Francis Fukuyama, Families Without Fathers to Men Behaving Badly. This book is very much Rutherford's own generation, those in their 30s and 40s who have had the post-war upbringing he explo0res. It might help men in their 60s and 70s understand their sons. And women, emotionally articulate lot that they are, will love it."
CAROLINE GASCOIGNE, 'Sunday Times'

"A superior, cogent, fascinating study, argued convincing."
TIM TEEMAN, 'New Statesman'

About the Author:

Jonathan Rutherford teaches Media and Cultural Studies at the University of Middlesex. A former community worker and journalist, he contributes regularly to the Guardian and Cosmopolitan.

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