Here for the first time is the full horror and madness of sharing a house, told by someone who’s been there. Birmingham pulls no punches: from dead rats in the kitchen to tent-dwelling lodgers in the living room, you’ll run for the safety of living alone.
‘A rat died in the living room at King Street and we didn’t know. There was at least six inches of compacted rubbish between our feet and the floor. Old Ratty must have crawled in there and died of pleasure. A visitor uncovered him while groping around for a beer.’
Tales of debauchery, drugs, flatmates from hell and nasty things lurking in the kitchen sink abound in Rolling Stone journalist John Birmingham’s hilarious account of sharing houses in Melbourne and Brisbane. He Died with a Felafel in His Hand makes Withnail & I look like a lesson in clean living.
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‘This is the grunge version of Melrose – the characters move speedily from one bed to another in Birmingham’s share-house hell... Not recommended for landlords’, Kathy Bil, Editor, Rolling Stone
‘You’ll read it with horrified amusement and, if you’ve ever shared a flat, the occasional wince of recollection’, Terry Pratchett
‘A rat died in the living room at King Street and we didn’t know. There was at least six inches of compacted rubbish between our feet and the floor. Old Ratty must have crawled in there and died of pleasure. A visitor uncovered him while groping around for a beer.’
So you think your flatmates are from Hell? Never clean up after themselves? Sometimes forget to flush the toilet? But did they ever run up a £20,000 credit scam from home? Ever blow up a perfectly innocent milk van? Or bring a stampede of corrupt police through your door?
John Birmingham’s did. And he secretly took notes on all of them. 89 flatmates later, this is his very funny horror story.
“You’ll read it with horrified amusement and if you’ve ever shared a flat, the occasional wince of recollection.”
TERRY PRATCHETT
“This is the grunge version of Melrose – the characters move as speedily from one bed to another... Yet the props here are beanbags, bongs and unpaid bills. Not recommended for landlords.”
ROLLING STONE
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