A psychologist presents a memoir of his personal struggle with Dissociative Identity Disorder, describing the sudden onset of symptoms when he was in his thirties and the emergence of twenty-four separate personalities, offering insight into this rare and fascinating affliction. 35,000 first printing.
Dear Readers,Earlier tonight Rikki, my wife of seventeen years, made vegetable tamales with Dusty, one of my 24 alter personalities. A little later, at dinner, Rikki told me that there was a place on Amazon.com for authors to write something about their books and that I should consider doing so. "Rik," I replied, "these are great tamales." After a thought-filled silence she said, "Cam, people don't know you. Just tell them why you wrote the book."
Well, I was diagnosed five and a half years ago with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), the condition that used to be known as Multiple Personality Disorder. DID is a coping mechanism for dealing with extreme and repeated childhood sexual, physical, or emotional abuse (in my case, incest). Since my diagnosis, it's been a tortuous ride--for me personally, for the 24 alters who have lived in my mind since I was very young, and for Rikki and our now eleven-year-old son Kyle. Somehow Rikki and I have held our family together, continually seeking higher ground, even when the path was muddy and slick, and angry clouds were raining misery and doubt.
There was a little boy to shelter, a friendship and marriage to protect, and a shattered mind to accept and repair. Rikki and I locked arms and hearts and kept trudging, and then something happened: the muck started to dry and our feet found solid ground. We'd made it--not to the top, but to a ridge. And that felt like something worth writing about.
I also wanted to speak to others whose experiences resonate with mine. I know how lonely it is to feel different and damaged. In some strange way, through telling my story, I wanted to offer myself as a witness to those people who share the experience of having had their souls scraped at an early age.
Finally, I wrote the book so you would know what DID feels like, with the hope that you might think of others you perceive as mentally ill with greater understanding. I wish you the courage to seek the peace that exists in every moment.
Cam West
