Ralph Johns, is a demented, insubordinate and totally unprofessional mystery shopper. Working mainly (or when he can be bothered to) for Chameleon Chopper. He gets paid to eat, drink, travel, ask endless drivelling questions and eventually to shop. This generally involving harassment of many shopkeepers. Knowing no bounds, Ralph tends to galivant around the North West of England, frequenting various alehouses, burger joints and hospitals along the way. This is a shopping list and travel journal like no other. Ralph Johns, has one of those jobs that many people wonder if they exist, and probably think it’s an urban myth. But he does in fact, yes, he gets paid to shop, to browse, and to ponder those stupid questions most normal folk wouldn’t dare to ask. I know what you’re thinking, it isn’t as glamorous as it sounds? Well, top marks there reader, as alas for Ralph, it isn’t. He’d like to shop, not that at heart he’s a true shopper however, and what to some may seem like a dream come true is not to a professional mystery shopper. Working a regular 9-5 or better still, staying in bed, is the dream for Ralph. A drunken food obsessed loon, and bored of constantly querying everything, Ralph must eek through life and wonder what it is all about. You don’t know he’s there, what’s his agenda, and why is he trying on that dress at least a few sizes too small... for him? The journey doesn’t end here, continue within at your peril and enter the mad, mad world of, Ralph the mystery shopper!
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Dean Handforth is a refugee from North Korea, and formerly named Jindong Son (oscillating hand). Persecuted for making craft whiskey, he escaped to England for more interesting times and after setting foot in the village of Handforth, Cheshire, was won over by a sign he came across during a shopping trip. Deeply affecting him, from then onwards became known as Dean Handforth, and still regularly shops at Handforth Dean.
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