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I woke up from a coma to a country that had changed beyond recognition.
Shrewsbury Road had become a ghost estate. Marks and Spencer were selling microwavable coddle. And a Euro discount store was about to open in the Powerscourt Townhouse Centre. God, I was only unconscious for ten days.
Meanwhile, the Gords wanted to talk to me. They were obviously pretty interested in finding out who shot me. The problem was that I couldn't actually remember. The entire incident was a basic blank.
There was at least some good news. Whoever pulled the trigger had missed my vital organs by inches - including the most vital one of all. I made a promise, there and then in St Vincent's Private Hospital, that I wasn't going to waste another minute of my life. There were thousands of beautiful women out there who had never known the pleasure of my company - and that was going to change, the minute my wounds healed and I was off my crutches.
But the path to hot love seldom runs smoothly. I had problems to deal with. A daughter who hated my basic guts. A son who was growing up way too fast. A soon-to-be-ex-wife who was resorting to increasingly desperate measures to stop the bank from repossessing the house.
Oh, and the Gords were having one or two problems believing my story ...
Praise for Ross O'Carroll-Kelly:
'Side-achingly funny' Sunday Independent
'Razor sharp, magnificently plotted and an utter joy to read' Irish Mail on Sunday
'Will leave you with pains in your cheeks from laughing' RTÉ Guide
'A smile per paragraph, a chuckle per page, and at least one belly laugh per chapter' Hot Press
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